It was the human in him. He may be Were, but he was born human, and his human concepts and morality were much stronger in him than they were in most other Were-cats. Tarrin still clung to the concept of marriage and family, despite the fact that that wasn't going to happen, because it was what he had been raised to expect out of life. Those lessons didn't fade with the fur and the ears. He'd never have a wife, but he could have mates, and enjoy it while it lasted. Jesmind was his mate now. He should enjoy it until time and changing interests and attitudes caused them to drift apart.

Strange. Two days ago, he hadn't even known Jesmind was here. He hadn't known about Jasana, and now here he was, considering how to plan his life around the two of them. It felt almost like he was cheating himself out of a whole lot of righteous anger and indignation towards his fiery-haired mate, but he had to admit that she had quite effectively defused him. That night of shared love showed him that Jesmind knew him, knew him very, very well, and she had known all the right buttons to press and all the right words to say to steer him in the direction that pleased her the most.

Tarrin would have taken offense to that, but he knew that her guidance and urging was towards an amicable relationship with her. She wasn't trying to control him, she just wanted him to like her. That was all. Not love her, not do her bidding, but just like her. He could respect that, respect how much she had been willing to bend, to sacrifice, to bring that about. For Jesmind to accommodate someone else was a story worthy of a town crier. It simply wasn't in her nature to bend for another, yet she had done it for him. That willingness to compromise, to accede to him at least in some ways both surprised him and inclined him towards her.

She had worked very hard for that day and a half to just hear him say he didn't hate her. He looked inside himself, and he found that he truly did not. In fact, despite his lingering anger and suspicion concerning her, he held a very favorable opinion of her now. He did like her, and probably maybe more than that. At one time, he had loved Jesmind. That had faded over time, but now, with her so close to him, he saw that there was a good chance that that love may be rekindled in him.

But if that happened, it would be long after he left them, got back on his journey to stop the ki'zadun and protect Suld. But this time, he'd know where she was, and he knew that she would be waiting for him.

That little problem suitably resolved in his mind, he moved on to the next one. Jasana. He honestly didn't know what he was going to do with her. Her power was awakened, and that was a very bad thing. She was sui'kun, or at least she would be, and the possbility that she would touch High Sorcery and threaten to destroy herself was very real and very worrisome. He knew it was just a matter of time now before she learned how to use her power, and then she would put herself in a tremendous amount of danger. Being a child, she wouldn't be able to resist using her magic, and that was going to cause a catastrophe in one way or another. Either for herself or for the unfortunate people around her, when impulse got the better of caution and she used her Sorcery.

He had to leave. He didn't have a choice. But Tarrin was the only thing that would keep Jasana's power under control. If she started using magic, he had to be very close to her to prevent her from hurting herself, or anyone else. But he couldn't do that, and the Goddess knew that he was not going to take that child with him. He was going into battle!

It was a no-win situation. He couldn't leave Jasana alone, yet he couldn't take her with him. He didn't know what to do. It just tumbled over and over and over in his mind until it started giving him a headache. He rolled over on his back and put his paw over his eyes, groaning slightly at the problem as Jesmind repositioned herself in her sleep, draping a paw over his chest and snuggling against his shoulder. He just couldn't see any kind of acceptable solution that satisfied both sides of the problem. And since he couldn't, he put it aside for a while to think about it again later.

He was really going to miss this place. Coming home, even for a few days, it had done him a world of good. He hadn't felt so calm, so relaxed, so happy, in a very long time. It had been months since he'd slept peacefully, and even longer since he'd had the opportunity to sleep in a bed that fit him. Most beds were too small, forcing him to sleep in cat form if only to fit. That was all well and good, but sometimes he didn't want to sleep in cat form, because the dreams and thoughts he had in that form were alot different from the ones he had in his natural form. There at home, he not only had the chance to unwind and relax after his long, long period of running for his life, he also had a chance to meet his daughter and reestablish an old relationship with Jesmind.

He was absolutely certain that coming home was the reason why the Goddess wanted him to stay on the ground. At first, he thought it was because of Jasana, but now he knew that that was only a part of it. She just wanted him to relax and feel happy for a little while. There was time enough to defend Suld later, right at that moment, he wanted nothing to do with anything even remotely resembling importance or titanic, earth-shaking magnitude. He wanted one full day where the most important thing he had to do was decide what he wanted to chase down for dinner. Just one day. He knew that that wasn't going to happen, not with him leaving tomorrow, but hopefully he could minimize the important things and concentrate on the small ones.

Jesmind stirred beside him, then her claws extended and pressed against his chest lightly. Her breathing shifted, telling him that she had woke up. She yawned languidly and then snuggled against him just a little more, sighing contentedly. "Good morning," she purred.

"Yes, it is," he replied in a dreamy kind of introspection. "Sleep well?"

"I slept like a rock," she chuckled. "You wore me out. That's quite an accomplishment."

"You wore yourself out," he corrected her mildly.

"Absence may make the heart grow fonder, but it sure makes a girl lustful," she said with a laugh.

"That could be a new saying."

"Only for humans that don't turn all red at the slightest mention of things that have no meaning anyway," she chuckled. "Garyth's wife, Mara, she's perputally red all the time when I'm around."

"She's a respectable, morally straight-laced woman, Jesmind," he told her. "She takes offense at seeing a girl's petticoats. I can only imagine what some of the things you say would affect her."

"I've made her faint a few times," she said with a wicked chuckle. "Now it's a game to see how mortified I can get her."

"You're an evil woman, Jesmind."

"I know. Isn't it fun?"

Tarrin laughed helplessly, pulling her up against him a little more. "I'm going to miss you when I leave," he admitted.

"Oh, what a nice thing to say," she purred happily, slithering up on top of him, putting her arms on his chest and staring down into his eyes for a long moment. "What do you want to do today?"

"Absolutely nothing of importance," he said immediately. "At least not willingly. I know work is going to come find me, but I'm not going to go look for it."

"Well, if you want a holiday, you came to the right place," she smiled. "We could spend all day in here."

"You're forgetting about Jasana," he smiled.

She frowned. "I knew there had to be some kind of drawback to having children," she fretted. "They interfere with trying to make more."

Tarrin chuckled, putting his paws on her waist, sliding them up and down her sides gently.

"I know that this doesn't really change things between us, mate," she told him in a reasonable tone. "I know you're probably still a little angry with me."