Tarrin wasn't quite sure how long he had sat at the table, with Jasana sitting happily in his lap, trying to make sense of everything that had happened. Jesmind had made him some dinner, but he didn't remember what it tasted like, or even what it was. Or even if he ate at all. The shock of this radical shift in his life had yet to run its course, and he was still stunned by the immensity of it.

Jesmind had born his daughter! A little girl, a little girl with powers of Sorcery that would be incredible! He still reeled whenever he thought of that, but there she sat in his lap, happy as could be, playing with the end of his tail as the two adults sat in uncomfortable silence.

But there were things he just had to know, and that meant that he had to ask. "Jesmind," he finally said. "How-"

"She's a Were-cat, Tarrin," Jesmind smiled, as if predicting the question. "She's normal for her age. Remember, she'll be a fully grown adult by the time she's ten. We're not like humans."

"How old is she?"

"About a year and a half," Jesmind replied. "But she has the mind of a six year old. We mature just as fast mentally as we grow." She gazed into his eyes for a long moment, then blinked and looked away. "My turn. What happened to you?"

"This?" he asked, holding up an arm, with the fetlock dangling from his outer wrist and forearm. "I came out second best in a fight with a Succubus. This was the result."

"I'd like to hear that story."

"There's not a whole lot to tell," he grunted. "Why here, Jesmind? Why did you bring her here?"

"Because this is your home," she said seriously. "This is where I wanted her to be. I didn't want her to grow up without knowing her father. If you wouldn't have come back, at least this place would have told her all about you."

"Mama likes it here," Jasana said. "We fish and we hunt and we make things, Mama teaches me all about the forest and the humans and things, and sometimes the Drew-weed and the funny humans comes from the forest and visits with us."

"Druid, dear," Jesmind corrected absently. "You call him a drew-weed, and he's likely to smack your bottom."

"Funny humans?"

"That old man, Garyth," Jesmind answered. "He's holed up in the Frontier with some of the villagers."

"I heard about that," Tarrin grunted. "I've already started fixing the problem."

"You didn't-"

"Oh yes I did," Tarrin said hotly. "I'll make Aldreth safer than the Heart. Nobody comes into my village and burns down houses and kills people. Not without dying for it, they don't."

Jesmind looked into his eyes. "You've changed, cub."

"I'm not a cub anymore, Jesmind," he said bluntly.

"No, I guess you're not," she sighed. "You're nothing like what I expected, though."

"What did you expect?"

"The same innocent little cub that needed me," she said, looking into his eyes.

"That Tarrin died a long time ago, Jesmind," he said distantly. "Along with alot of what you remember."

"Mother's been telling me about what happened to you. I'm sorry-" she broke off, looking away. "I'm sorry I wasn't there for you."

Tarrin put a paw on his daughter's torso. Part of him could understand why she left him, but the rest of him was still angry and betrayed by it, by her not telling him. The only thing keeping him from strangling her was the fact that Jasana was sitting on his lap. He was going to settle with Jesmind-oh, yes, he was-but not while Jasana was around.

"I see that not everything is a bad thing," Jesmind said, reaching out and grabbing his other paw. He flinched slightly at her touch, a touch that brought back memories of both sweet sensualness and anger and rage, a mixed confusion of emotions that had always defined his relationship with his fiery first mate. "I see the manacles are gone. Mother told me about them, told me what they meant. I'm happy to see that you gave them up, and everything they represented."

"It," he said after a moment, then blew out his breath. "It wasn't easy. I still think it was a bad idea."

"It's a good sign. Mother said you were nearly as feral as Mist, but I don't see it in you. You've managed to regain yourself since the last time she saw you."

Tarrin looked at the top of Jasana's head, at her pert little ears. She was such an adorable little girl.

"She also told me about what happened with Mist," Jesmind added, and that made Tarrin blush slightly. "Don't worry, I'm not jealous. I think it was a wonderful thing you did."

"Jealous? What right do you have to be jealous?" he flared. "You abandoned me a long time ago, Mother."

Jasana put her paws over his casually, patting it, and her touch had a powerful effect on him. It soothed him almost immediately, and it reminded him again how much control this little girl seemed to be able to enact against him, whenever she wanted.

"You have no idea how much it tore me up to do that, Tarrin," she said earnestly, gazing into his eyes. "I was torn between my duty to you and the safety of our daughter. Can you appreciate how that made me feel?"

He could appreciate how it must have made her feel, but it didn't make him feel any better about it. Jesmind's abandonment of him had hit him very hard, and even now he was still feeling the effects of it. A part of him even felt that feeling jealous over the little girl in his lap would have been perfectly acceptable, but there was no way he could harbor any negative emotions against the precious little girl.

His daughter.

"It's getting late," Jesmind said, looking out the kitchen window. "Why don't you stay here tonight?"

"I'm not about-" he started, but he was cut off.

"Please, papa?" Jasana asked, looking up at him with those adorable eyes. "Please stay with us tonight?"

He found himself to be defenseless against that. "I-alright," he huffed.

Jesmind and Jasana did their nightly chores while Tarrin sat at the table, chin on his paws, trying to make sense of everything. He was both happy and furious, relieved and annoyed, felt both accepted and betrayed. It was simply too much for him to deal with at one time. He was angry with Jesmind, but he couldn't deny what they had once shared. She had abandoned him, betrayed him, and though his heart rebelled at that, his mind fully understood and agreed with her decisions. Had he not come from slaughtering twenty one Dal soldiers in Aldreth, he may not have acted so harshly towards Jesmind and wouldn't have upset his daughter like he did. Seeing her, hearing her voice, incited memories of the Tower in him, both good memories and bad memories. It reminded him of the unmitigated hatred that they had had for one another, and then it reminded him of the tenderness and affection they had found for one another after that. It reminded him of the long thoughts of her while she was away, thoughts of lustful need, thoughts of company and warmth, and fury at how she had left him. His feelings for Jesmind had always been a chaotic whirlwind, and that had only increased now that he knew why she had left him in Suld.

Home. That was one thing. He was home, even if he found something waiting for him here that he hadn't been quite ready to accept. This was the same room that he and his mother and father and sister had spent many an evening, reading, listening to his father play the lute, learning things, telling stories, or just watching the fire burn in the hearth. This was where he had grown up, where he had always thought he would be, at least until he was fifteen. Only four years ago, but it seemed like a lifetime ago.

At that moment, he truly felt old.

Things were different. Jesmind had moved the table, and his parents' chairs were gone. So was the little table that sat between them, chairs just in front of a thick bearskin rug sitting in front of the fire, a rug that had a few blackened burns in its backside from the popping fire. Tarrin had always liked the musty, warm smell of that old rug. He wondered where it was now. In their places now was a single chair facing the fire, with a small wicker basket sitting beside it, and three large pillows spread out near the hearth. The kitchen was bare compared to what he remembered, for Jesmind only seemed to have a few pots and pans, a few baskets and bins for food. It looked empty.