Tarrin put a paw on her shoulder. She flinched at that contact, but then she looked up at him. His expression was neutral, emotionless, but the paw on her shoulder was gentle. "What's done is done," he told her. "If you let the past rule you, it will destroy your future. You'll never make it if you can't accept that."

"It's not easy," she sniffled.

"No, it's not. And it never gets any easier. I carry any number of my own burdens." He looked away from her. "I won't be much of a teacher. I'm half wild myself. My way of dealing isn't the best way, but it's the only way I can show you."

"I won't thumb my nose at it, Tarrin, believe me," she said sincerely. "I'm not going to give up before I try. I'm just afraid of failing."

"There's nothing to be afraid of," he said calmly. "One way or another, you won't go mad again."

She looked up at him. "You're right, I suppose," she agreed. "One way or another. I'd welcome that other way, if it comes down to that."

"Let's hope not," he said.

"Let's hope," she agreed. "I, see you still have those. Why do you wear them?" she asked, pointing to the manacle on his wrist.

"They remind me what you did to me," he said bluntly. "They remind me what happens when I let down my guard, or trust people I don't know. They keep it from happening again."

Jula looked at her feet. "I didn't know it affected you like that," she said quietly.

"If people call me a monster, it's because you made me this way," he said grimly, picking up her chin and forcing her to look into his eyes. "These manacles sit on my wrists and remind me of the price I paid for trusting you. Even now, I can't bring myself to trust anyone I didn't already know, and I'm just as quick to kill a man as I am to greet him. The term Triana uses is feral."

"I know what that means," she said. "I guess I'm the same way, now. I can't bring myself to trust people anymore. Not after what Kravon did to me." She looked up at him. "If that's the way you feel, why do you trust me now? After everything I did?"

"I don't," he growled. "But I have you bond, and that means I have power over you. You can't lie to me. If you try to betray me, I'll know long before you can hurt me."

"I guess I deserve that," she sighed. "I wouldn't trust me either. But I trust you, Tarrin. I don't know why, but I do."

"You'd better," he told her. "Let's get you some decent clothes."

"What I want is a nice dress."

"Give up on that idea," he said. "A dress doesn't suit a Were-cat. Especially not with what we're going to be doing."

"But I've never worn a pair of pants in my life."

"Now's a good time to learn."

"I'll look like a boy."

"Take your shirt off. They'll see the difference very quickly."

Jula blushed.

"Being feminine doesn't suit a Were-cat, Jula. Our women aren't feminine. They are female. There's a big difference." He glanced at her. "Sit down."

Tarrin sat down cross-legged on the grass perfunctorily. Jula stared at him for a moment, then seated herself demurely in front of him. "It's time you understood a fundamental truth," he said, holding out his paws. "Being a Were-cat is living in two different worlds. We have two halves. The human half," he said, holding out a paw, "and the Cat." He held out the other. "The key to our lives is the balance between these two halves. None of us are entirely human, and on the other hand, none of us are entirely cat. The balance is different inside each of us. Some of us, like me, are feral, more dominated by our instincts. Some, like Kimmie and the way you are right now, are almost completely human. The balance is everything. To find balance inside yourself, you have to surrender some of your humanity, but not so much that you can't control your instincts." He lowered his paws. "You went insane because you wouldn't allow yourself to find that balance. You rejected your Cat half, you tried to control it. You can't do that. The more you fight against it, the stonger it becomes. In order to control it, you have to let it control you."

"That's illogical."

"That's why it beat you," he said calmly. "Logic has no place in this, Jula. You're dealing with a wild animal, whose entire world exists within its instincts. To keep the Cat from dominating you, you have to allow it to influence your actions. Unless you placate it, it's going to fight you for control. That's where the madness begins." He stared right into her eyes. "The Cat is tireless and relentless. It's a predator, a hunter, and if you oppose it, it will turn on you. I'm sure you already know that."

She shuddered visibly and nodded.

"I'm not saying you have to abandon everything you held important as a human. What I am saying is that you need to expand yourself to allow the Cat to have its place within you. That's going to change you. How much it changes you depends on where you stand after you find your balance." He held his paws up again. "What's important is that you don't fight against these changes," he stressed. "I'm not very happy with how I changed, but it's how it happened, and I have to live with it. If I don't, I'll go mad. There are going to be some general alterations, common throughout our kind."

"Like the aggression."

"Aggression is an outward sign of our predatory instincts," he said simply. "We are hunters, Jula. Hunters are aggressive. If they aren't, they starve to death. As a lot, we tend to be direct, and have little patience for fools or liars. We're also very independent, and we tend to be very short-tempered."

"I remember Jesmind," she said reflectingly. "She had enough temper for four people."

"Jesmind is not too far from the norm of our kind," he told her. "I guess I represent the extreme. I have no temper."

"I've noticed."

"Don't push it," he warned. "Since we're part animal, it flavors our outlook. You'll find a great many human customs to be silly or ridiculous. In time, you'll lose some of that learned behavior. Modesty is a good example. Your learned femininity is another. You aren't a lady anymore, Jula. You're a female. The only difference between you and me are the instincts that motivate our genders."

"What do you mean?"

He looked at her. "Take off your robe," he ordered.

"What? Tarrin, we're sitting in the middle of a field! People will see me!"

"So?"

She blinked and gave him a startled look. "It's improper!"

"You're thinking like a human, Jula. Take off your robe. I'm not asking you, I'm telling you."

Blushing furiously, Jula rose up her knees and unbelted the robe Sarraya conjured for her. She slid it off her shoulders and let it fall to the ground around her, then settled back down.

"Why are you embarassed?" he asked.

"Maybe because I'm sitting here naked," she said in a hot tone, glaring at him.

"So?"

"What do you mean, so?" she snapped.

"So what if people can see what you hide under your clothes? Can they touch you? Are they going to do anything you don't want them to do?"

"I don't want them to look," she told him.

"You're thinking like a human, Jula. What does the Cat care about being naked?"

She looked at him, then looked down at the ground between them. "It doesn't care one way or the other," she said quietly.

"There," he said gently. "You've just communicated with your other half in a cooperative manner. Was it all that hard?"

"What do you mean?"

"I asked you what the Cat thought about being naked. You looked into that part of yourself and found the answer, and you did it without struggling against what you found there."

She stared at him a long moment. "I, I did, didn't I?" she admitted. "Why didn't it seem combative?"

"Because you weren't trying to force your will on the Cat," he replied. "No matter what you think, your instincts aren't evil. They are simply instincts. Once you understand them better, you'll find it easier and easier to allow them to influence you without controlling you. Regardless of what you may believe, they are a part of you. They only cause trouble when you try to ignore them. Remember, the more you fight against them, the stronger they become."