But then she had had the dream. It was simple enough. She dreamed she was back in the courtyard in Suld, in the Tower, the courtyard that had been their sanctuary while they were there. She was standing there at the fountain, looking up at the perfection of the statue that stood in the center of it, and then the statue spoke to her! It was a lovely voice, full of power and compassion, and it assured her that Tarrin had survived. That he was alive, and that he and Allia were much closer to her than she thought. Right about then, she woke up, but the powerful clarity of the dream had attached itself to her consciousness, and she found that she had to believe it. That had taken a tremendous burden off of her heart, and though a little part of her wouldn't accept it until she saw Tarrin standing in front of her, the rest of her found comfort in it. She had the feeling that it was Tarrin's mysterious Goddess that was doing it. Keritanima herself didn't hold much salt with gods. They hadn't answered all her prayers when she prayed for her family to stop fighting with each other. But this Goddess seemed a bit different. She was supposedly bound to her by the fact that she was a Sorcerer, but she really didn't hold much salt for that either. This Goddess had never spoken to her, never helped her.
At least until then. She didn't know if it was the Goddess of the Sorcerers, and she really didn't care. She just knew that Tarrin had made it, and that had brought peace to her. It wasn't enough to calm her completely, for there was still the doubt, the uncertainty, and the fury at being treated in such a callous fashion.
The fury of helplessness and fear had been replaced by a burning anger towards her father, and a savage intent to pay him back for his interference in kind. They were sailing back to Wikuna, back to her father, and back to his world. Back to a world of intrigue and backbiting, where nobody could be trusted and anyone could be aiming a dagger at your back the instant you turn around. Where she had more to fear from her father and sisters than anyone else in Wikuna. Her fury had evolved into a cold, almost pure hatred, a hatred of her father and everything he stood for, a hatred of what she had left behind. And now she had to go back into it. Thrown back into the pit of fire, without the support and presence of her brother and sister to ease her pain or calm her fears. She was going back alone, so terribly alone.
Miranda had become a complete crutch for her. The mink Wikuni was her oldest friend, and without her siblings, she was the only one Keritanima could turn to with her thoughts and fears, the only ear she trusted to share her burdens. Miranda's quiet presence with her for so long had given her insights into Keritanima that only Tarrin and Allia knew, and she was able to calm Keritanima down, make her feel a little better, if only for a little while. Binter and Sisska tried to help, but there was only so much they could do. Their devotion wasn't to her, it was to their roles as bodyguards and protectors. They were fond of Keritanima, and she trusted them, but it just wasn't the same. Azakar-poor Zak. She didn't know him as well as she probably should, but it was clear to her that he felt lost. The only human on a ship full of Wikuni, facing their arrogance and scorn every time he turned around. Yet he stood up to it with a quiet dignity that impressed her, comfortable in the fact that he was a Knight, he had people who respected him… and he could probably thrash anyone on the ship except for Binter and Sisska any time he wanted. Azakar helped her in his own way by just being someone nearby, someone to play a game of chess with, or yell at when she needed to vent, or stand guard over her when Binter and Sisska weren't capable of it. That her Vendari bodyguards would trust him with her protection said everything that needed to be said about how they felt about him. He was a bit quiet, but then again, he had once been a slave, so being quiet and not drawing attention to himself were probably ingrained habits he'd yet to break.
Then Tarrin had contacted her. To say she was relieved was an understatement. For the first time in over a week, she had been truly happy, had felt complete relief. There was her absolute proof that Tarrin was alright, that he was going to be alright. To hear his voice, then hear Allia, had made her feel whole again, to feel close to those who were far away. She couldn't help but stroke the silver amulet around her neck any time she thought about her brother and sister. She hadn't contacted them since that day, but just knowing that she could, at any time, put her fingers to the amulet and hear their voices gave her a feeling of tremendous security. It wasn't a good idea to abuse the amulet, to make it plain that she had that ability. It would just give the spies watching her opportunities to try to separate her from her amulet, and that she absolutely would not allow. So long as they didn't know how she was communicating with her brother and sister, she was happy. The very thought of one of them taking her amulet horrified her. It was her only link to her family, to those who loved her, and she would defend it tooth and claw, defend it to the death.
Her mind free of the crushing fear and worry, it had turned to the other business at hand. Revenge. She wasn't foolish enough to deny the fact that vengeance was very much on her mind. This was something that she couldn't allow to go unpunished. Her father had abused her, neglected her, even tried to kill her. But to rip her away from the people she loved, to take her away from the only place where she had felt happy… that was just going too far.
When she got back to Wikuna, there was going to be hell to pay.
As much as the thought of barging into her father's study and frying him like a chicken appealed to her, made her feel all warm and fuzzy inside, she knew it would never work. That was the easy way, the childish way, and it would get her killed. No, Damon Eram wasn't going to get away as easily as just dying. Keritanima intended to destroy him, to take away or remove everything he cherished, everything he held dear, everything he coveted in this world. And knowing her father, she already knew what those things were.
His crown, his power, and his fortune, in that order.
To completely repay her father, she intended to take away everything that he held dear. That meant that she was going to take his throne, destroy his network of power, then have him ostracized from the Eram house. Then she was going to fix it so he lived a long and miserable life, a life where his failures and his losses would howl in his brain and drive him mad with each new dawn, only so she could heal his madness and make him face it again the next day. Just killing her father wasn't good enough.
Allia had often remarked that revenge was an art form, and those who performed it well were honorable. She would make her sister proud of her.
Of course, Damon Eram would be expecting such tactics. At least the attempt to overthrow him from the throne. That was why she had to start on another track. Undercutting his power was a good first step. Her ordered round of assassinations before she left the Tower had proabably done half of that job, and he most likely still wouldn't be fully recovered when she got there next month. What it was going to take to get him would be a bloodbath, a bloodbath of monumental proportions. She would have to eliminate absolutely anyone that supported him on the throne, leaving nothing but a nobility full of those seeking his throne in its stead. After that was done, she would see to it that he lost his crown.
It was so ironic. She had fled from Wikuna, had orchestrated one of the most elaborate and convoluted plots ever conceived, just to get away from the responsibilty of the crown. But now, the only way to ensure that nobody came after her after she was finished was if she was sitting on the throne. No matter who took the throne, they would see her as a threat, and try to kill her, or kill them as a way of getting at her. And she wasn't going to be bringing a pack of assassins back to her brother and sister. No, when she went back, there would be no spectre of Wikuna hanging over her. The only way to assure that was if she was the one doing the commanding. The throne would be the only safe place for her, the only place where she could protect her family.