“Yeah.”
“It’ll be our special secret. Do you promise me, now?”
I thought about various ways to kill someone without leaving marks. Then, before Holly could promise, I took a breath and pushed open the door.
They made a pretty picture. Shay’s flat was clean and bare, almost barracks-tidy: worn floorboards, faded olive-green curtains, random bits of characterless furniture, nothing on the white walls. I knew from Jackie that he had been living there for sixteen years, ever since crazy old Mrs. Field died and left the place empty, but it still looked temporary. He could have packed up and gone on a couple of hours’ notice, without leaving a trace behind.
He and Holly were sitting at a little wooden table. With her books spread out in front of them, they looked like an old painting: a father and daughter in their garret, in any century you picked, absorbed together in some mysterious story. The pool of light from a tall lamp made them glow like jewels in that drab room, Holly’s gold head and her ruby-red cardigan, the deep green of Shay’s jumper and the blue-black gloss on his hair. He had put a footstool under the table, so Holly’s feet wouldn’t dangle. It looked like the newest thing in the room.
That lovely picture only lasted a split second. Then they leaped like a pair of guilty teenagers caught sharing a spliff; they were the image of each other, all panicked flash of matching blue eyes. Holly said, “We’re doing maths! Uncle Shay’s helping me.”
She was bright red and wildly obvious, which was a relief: I had been starting to think she was turning into some ice-cold superspy. I said, “Yep, you mentioned that. How’s it going?”
“OK.” She glanced quickly at Shay, but he was watching me intently, with no expression at all.
“That’s nice.” I wandered over behind them and had a leisurely look over their shoulders. “Looks like good stuff, all right. Have you said thank you to your uncle?”
“Yeah. Loads of times.”
I cocked an eyebrow at Shay, who said, “She has. Yeah.”
“Well, isn’t that rewarding to hear. I’m a big believer in good manners, me.”
Holly was almost hopping off her chair with unease. “Daddy…”
I said, “Holly, sweetheart, you go downstairs and finish your maths at Nana’s. If she wants to know where your uncle Shay and I are, tell her we’re having a chat and we’ll be down in a bit. OK?”
“OK.” She started putting her stuff into her schoolbag, slowly. “I won’t say anything else to her. Right?”
She could have been talking to either of us. I said, “Right. I know you won’t, love. You and me, we’ll talk later. Now go on. Scoot.”
Holly finished packing up her stuff and looked back and forth between us one more time-the tangle of shredded expressions on her face, while she tried to get her head around more than any grown adult could have handled, made me want to kneecap Shay all by itself. Then she left. She pressed her shoulder up against my side for a second, on her way past; I wanted to crush her in a bear hug, but instead I ran a hand over her soft head and gave the back of her neck a quick squeeze. We listened to her running down the stairs, light as a fairy on the thick carpet, and the rise of voices welcoming her into Ma’s.
I shut the door behind her and said, “And here I was wondering how her long division had improved so much. Isn’t that funny?”
Shay said, “She’s no eejit. She only needed a hand.”
“Oh, I know that. But you’re the man who stepped up. I think it’s important for you to hear how much I appreciate that.” I swung Holly’s chair out of the bright pool of lamplight, and out of Shay’s reach, and had a seat. “Nice place you’ve got here.”
“Thanks.”
“The way I remember it, Mrs. Field had it wallpapered with pictures of Padre Pio and stinking of clove drops. Let’s face it, anything would’ve been an improvement.”
Shay slowly eased back in his chair, in what looked like a casual sprawl, but the muscles in his shoulders were coiled like a big cat’s ready to leap. “Where’s my manners? You’ll have a drink. Whiskey, yeah?”
“And why not. Work up an appetite for the dinner.”
He tilted his chair so he could reach over to the sideboard and pull out a bottle and two tumblers. “Rocks?”
“Go for it. Let’s do this right.”
Leaving me on my own put a wary flash in his eye, but he didn’t have a choice. He took the glasses out to the kitchen: freezer door opening, ice cubes popping. The whiskey was serious stuff, Tyrconnell single malt. “You’ve got taste,” I said.
“What, you’re surprised?” Shay came back shaking ice cubes around the glasses, to chill them. “And don’t be asking me for a mixer.”
“Don’t insult me.”
“Good. Anyone who’d mix this doesn’t deserve it.” He poured us each three fingers and pushed a glass across the table to me. “Sláinte,” he said, lifting the other one.
I said, “Here’s to us.” The glasses clinked together. The whiskey burned gold going down, barley and honey. All that rage had evaporated right out of me; I was as cool and gathered and ready as I had ever been on any job. In all the world there was no one left except the two of us, watching each other across that rickety table, with the stark lamplight throwing shadows like war paint across Shay’s face and piling up great heaps of them in every corner. It felt utterly familiar, almost soothing, like we had been practicing for this moment all our lives.
“So,” Shay said. “How does it feel, being home?”
“It’s been a hoot. I wouldn’t have missed it for the world.”
“Tell us: were you serious about coming around from now on? Or were you only humoring Carmel?”
I grinned at him. “Would I ever? No, I meant it, all right. Are you delighted and excited?”
A corner of Shay’s lip twisted upwards. “Carmel and Jackie think it’s because you missed your family. They’re in for a shock, somewhere down the line.”
“I’m wounded. Are you saying I don’t care about my family? Not you, maybe. But the rest of them.”
Shay laughed, into his glass. “Right. You’ve got no agenda here.”
“I’ve got news for you: everyone always has an agenda. Don’t worry your pretty little head, though. Agenda or no, I’ll be here often enough to keep Carmel and Jackie happy.”
“Good. Remind me to show you how to get Da on and off the jacks.”
I said, “Since you won’t be around as much, next year. What with the bike shop and all.”
Something flickered, deep down in Shay’s eyes. “Yeah. That’s right.”
I raised my glass to him. “Fair play to you. I’d say you’re looking forward to that.”
“I’ve earned it.”
“You have, of course. Here’s the thing, though: I’ll be in and out, but it’s not like I’m going to be moving in here.” I shot an amused look around the flat. “Some of us have lives, you know what I mean?”
That flicker again, but he kept his voice even. “I didn’t ask you to move anywhere.”
I shrugged. “Well, someone’s got to be around. Maybe you didn’t know this, but Da… He’s not really on for going into a home.”
“And I didn’t ask for your opinion on that, either.”
“Course not. Just a word to the wise: he told me he’s got contingency plans. I’d be counting his tablets, if I were you.”
The spark caught, flared. “Hang on a second. Are you trying to tell me my duty to Da? You?”
“Christ, no. I’m only passing on the info. I wouldn’t want you having to live with the guilt if it all went wrong.”
“What bloody guilt? Count his tablets yourself, if you want them counted. I’ve looked after the whole lot of yous, all my life. It’s not my turn any more.”
I said, “You know something? Sooner or later, you’re going to have to ditch this idea that you’ve spent your life being everyone’s little knight in shining armor. Don’t get me wrong, it’s entertaining to watch, but there’s a fine line between illusion and delusion, and you’re bouncing along that line.”