Most people think a conference is a good time to market their wares. They rush from room to room desperately trying to sell themselves. But a commando knows that you have to get people to like you first. The sales come later—in the follow-up discussions you have after the conference. Now is the time to begin to build trust and a relationship.

Know Your Targets

You're ready to bump. Now you just need someone to bump against.

At each conference, I keep a list of three or four people I'd most like to meet on a folded piece of paper in my jacket pocket. I check off each person as I meet them. Beside their name, I'll jot down what we talked about and make a note about how I'm going to contact them later. And, once you've met with and engaged someone, you find yourself chatting again and again throughout the conference.

You can't, however, rely solely on chance to find them at cocktails or on a break. I usually ask the conference organizer to point to the area where they'll be and I watch where they sit. Most people continue to sit in the same seats throughout the conference.

For example, Barry Diller, the CEO of InterActiveCorp., was someone I'd wanted to meet for years. He's a visionary in commerce and media, with an uncanny ability to foresee, before anyone else, where innovation will turn into profit. He smells money.

Researching one of my conferences, I noticed he was scheduled to speak. I found out when and where and got access to the area where he would have to get on and off the stage. I positioned myself in a place where it would be damn near impossible to get by without giving me a little nudge.

As he walked by, I got his attention. "Mr. Diller, my name is Keith Ferrazzi. I work for Barry Sternleicht as his CMO at Starwood. He's mentioned before that you and I should talk and I thought I'd just make the introduction myself. I know you're busy, but I'm wondering if I can call your office and arrange a time to meet with you when we get back home?" [Pause—to which he responded, "Sure, call my New York office."] "Great, I wanted to talk to you about a number of ideas I have about your business, but I've also admired your career and pioneering work you've done for a long time." That was it. I played my heaviest and hardest card, which was my boss, a fellow visionary entrepreneur for whom Diller held respect. With a name as big as Diller, sometimes the bump can't be as deep as you'd like. Still, with limited time I managed to gain credibility by dropping a familiar and trusted name, show a bit of vulnerability in admitting I admired his career, and suggested I had value to offer with my ideas. That bump went on to realize a job offer and introductions within his company that are now important clients for FerrazziGreenlight.

Your sound-bite introduction will change depending on the circumstances. Generally, it will be a twoor three-sentence opener, tailored to the event, about what you can or want to do for them.

Breaks Are No Time to Take a Break

Breaks are where the real work happens at a conference.

Make sure and stake out the right place. Have you ever noticed how guests gather in the kitchen or some other central place when you have gatherings at home? One warm and centrally located spot is often the center of any party. The same holds true at a business gathering. Determine where most people will gather, or at least pass, and station yourself there. This might be near the food table, the bar, or the reception area.

Be on your game during these times. U.S. News & World Report revealed Henry Kissinger's technique for commanding a room: "Enter the room. Step to the right. Survey the room. See who is there. You want other people to see you."

Kissinger knows that great networkers know how to make a memorable first impression. They see a room of people as a playing field. Remember to look sharp. Don't underestimate the importance of dressing well in places where you'll be noticed. And start bumping.

Follow Up

If you didn't think I was a nut before, now it's a certainty. I know I've told you to follow up already, but that's how vitally important I think it is. So here it is again: follow up. After that, follow up again. Then, after you've done that, follow up once more.

I don't like to put it off or it might not get done. How many of you have cards from events that occurred months ago or even longer? That's a lost opportunity. During speeches, I'll sit in the back and write follow-up e-mails to the people I just met at the previous break. Everyone you talked with at the conference needs to get an e-mail reminding them of their commitment to talk again. I also like sending a note to the speakers, even if I didn't get a chance to meet them.

Here's an actual example of one of my follow-up e-mails:

Hey Carla,

Wow, what a fun time. I didn't expect tequila shots to he a part of the Forbes CIO conference. We definitely have to make this an annual occurrence. Hey, I also wanted to follow up with our discussion on your marketing strategy and your interest in the FerrazziGreenlight loyalty strategy work we've done as a way to help reach your adult women demographic. When can you do a call this week, or at your leisure?

Also, I wanted to say that I heard no fewer than three separate people talk about your session and what a great speaker you were. Congrats!

It's the People, N o t the Speakers

You've probably already figured this rule out by now. I don't often find the content of conferences particularly useful. I read a lot. I think about these subjects constantly and talk to a lot of people. By the time I get to a conference, I know the substance of what's going to be said.

Of course, there are exceptions, like when Michael H a m m e r talked about reengineering and then would magically t u r n the talk into both a lesson in life and a stand-up comedy routine.

Epiphanies aside, most conference speeches are about one more IBM or Microsoft senior VP talking about his or her processimprovement project. Even when the speaker is interesting, the mentality is the same: It's always about the people.

Don't Be This Person

THE WALLFLOWER: The limp handshake, the position in the far corner of the room, the unassuming demeanor—all signs that this person thinks he or she is there to watch the speakers.

THE ANKLE HUGGER: The ankle hugger is a total codependent and thinks that the first person they meet is their BFF (best friend forever). Out of fear, they shadow their BFF the entire conference. You've spent too much money not to leverage the opportunity to meet many different people. So bump! You have a lifetime to build relationships with these people. Collect as many follow-ups as you can.

THE CELEBRITY H O U N D : This type of person funnels every bit of their energy into trying to meet the most important person at the event. The problem is, if the person they want to meet truly is the most important person at the conference, that person will be on their guard. A n d maybe even guarded, literally. A young friend of mine went to see the King of Jordan speak recently and came back ecstatic. He had waited an hour or more, along with 5 0 0 other people, for a chance to shake the King's hand. I asked him, "How, exactly, did you benefit from that encounter?"