A bedraggled shape emerged from the rain. Grizzled face, a sopping hairshirt. Like some damned haunt from his past, a ghoul grinning with dread reminders of everything he had thrown away.
Spindle stepped up to Monkrat. ‘It’s time.’
‘For what? Aye, we got drunk, we laughed and cried and all that shit. And maybe I told you too much, but not enough, I’m now thinking, if you believe you can do a damned thing about all this. It’s a god we’re talking about here, Spin. A god.’
‘Never mind that. I been walking through this shit-hole. Monkrat, there’s chil-dren here. Just… abandoned.’
‘Not for long. They’re going to be taken. Used to feed the Dying God.’
‘Not if we take ’em first.’
‘Take them? Where?’
Spindle bared his teeth, and only now did Monkrat comprehend the barely re-strained fury in the man facing him. ‘Where? How about away? Does that sound too complicated for you? Maybe those hills west of here, in the woods. You said it was all coming down. If we leave ’em they’ll all die, and I won’t have it.’
Monkrat scratched at his beard. ‘Now ain’t that admirable of you, but-’
The hard angled point of a shortsword pressed the soft flesh below Monkrat’s chin. He scowled. The bastard was last, all right and old Monkrat was losing his edge.
‘Now,’ hissed Spindle, ‘you either follow Gredithick around-’
‘Gradithan.’
‘Whatever. You either follow him like a pup, or you start helping me round up the runts still alive.’
‘You’re giving me a choice?’
‘Kind of. If you say you want to be a pup, then I’ll saw off your head, as clum-sily as I can.’
Monkrat hesitated.
Spindle’s eyes widened. ‘You’re in a bad way, soldier-’
‘I ain’t a soldier no more.’
‘Maybe that’s your problem. You’ve forgotten things. Important things.’
‘Such as?’
Spindle grimaced, as if searching for the right words, and Monkrat saw in his mind a quick image of a three-legged dog chasing rabbits in a field. ‘Fine,’ Spindle finally said in a.grating tone. ‘It had to have happened to you at least once. You and your squad, you come into some rotten foul village or hamlet. You come to buy food or maybe get your tack fixed, clothes mended, whatever. But you ain’t there to kill nobody. And so you get into a few conversations. In the tavern. The smithy. With the whores. And they start talking. About injustices. Bastard landholders, local bullies, shit-grinning small-time tyrants. The usual crap. The corruption and all that. You know what I’m talking about, Monkrat?’
‘Sure.’
‘So what did you do?’
‘We hunted the scum down and flayed their arses. Sometimes we even strung ’em up.’
Spindle nodded. ‘You did justice, is what you did. It’s what a soldier can do, when there’s nobody else. We got swords, we got armour, we got all we need to terrorize anybody we damned well please. But Dassem taught us-he taught every soldier in the Malazan armies back then. Sure, we had swords, but who we used ’em on was up to us.’ The point of the shortsword fell away. ‘We was soldiers, Monkrat. We had the chance-the privilege-of doing the right thing.’
‘I deserted-’
‘And I was forced into retirement. Neither one changes what we were.’
‘That’s where you’re wrong.’
‘Then listen to this.’ The shortsword pressed against his throat again. ‘I can still deliver justice, and if need be I’ll do it right now and right here. By cutting a coward’s head off.’
‘Don’t talk to me about cowardice!’ Monkrat snapped. ‘Soldiers don’t talk that ever! You just broke the first rule!’
‘Someone turns his back on being a soldier-on what it means in the soul-that’s cowardice. You don’t like the word, don’t five it.’
Monkrat stared into the man’s eyes, and hated what he saw there. He sagged.
‘Best get on with it then, Spin. I got nothing left. I’m used up. What do you do when the soldier inside you dies before you do? Tell me.’
‘You go through the motions, Monkrat. You just follow me. Do as I do. We start there and worry about the rest later.’
Monkrat realized that Spindle was still waiting. ‘Do what’s right,’ Dassem told us. Gods, even after all this time he still remembered the First Sword’s words. ‘That’s a higher law than the command of any officer. Higher even than the Em-peror’s own words. You are in a damned uniform but that’s not a licence to deliver terror to everyone-just the enemy soldier you happen to be facing. Do what is right, for that armour you wear doesn’t just protect your flesh and bone. It defends honour. It defends integrity. It defends justice. Soldiers, heed me well. That armour defends humanity. And when I look upon my soldiers, when I see these uniforms, I see compassion and truth. The moment those virtues fail, then the gods help you, for no armour is strong enough to save you.’
‘All right, Spin. I’ll follow you.’
A sharp nod. ‘Dassem, he’d be proud. And not surprised, no, not surprised at all.’
‘We have to watch out for Gradithan-he wants those virgins. He wants their blood, for when the Dying God arrives.’
‘Yeah? Well, Gredishit can chew on Hood’s arsehole. He ain’t getting ’em.’
‘A moment ago I was thinking, Spin…’
‘Thinking what?’
‘That you was a three-legged dog. But I was wrong. You’re a damned Hound of Shadow is what you are. Come on. I know where they all huddle to stay outa the rain.’
Seerdomin adjusted the grip on his sword and then glanced back at the Redeemer. The god’s position was unchanged. Kneeling, half bent over, face hidden behind his hands. A position of abject submission. Defeat and despair. Hardly an inspiring standard to stand in front of, hardly a thing to fight for, and Seerdomin could feel the will draining from him as he faced once more the woman dancing in the basin.
Convulsing clouds overhead, an endless rain of kelyk that turned everything black. The drops stung and then numbed his eyes. He had ceased to flinch from the crack of lightning, the stuttering crash of thunder.
He had fought for something unworthy once, and had vowed never again. Yet here he was, standing between a god of unimaginable power and a god not worth believing in. One wanted to feed and the other looked ready to be devoured-why should he get in the way of the two?
A wretched gasp from the Redeemer snapped him round. The rain painted It-kovian black, ran like dung-stained water down the face he had lifted skyward. ‘Dying,’ he murmured, so faint that Seerdomin had to step closer to catch the word. ‘But no end is desired. Dying, for all eternity. Who seeks this fate? For himself? Who yearns for such a thing? Can I… can I help him?’
Seerdomin staggered back, as if struck by a blow to his chest. That-Beru fend-that is not a proper question? Not against this… this thing. Look to yourself, Redeemer! You cannot heal what does not want healing! You cannot mend what delights in being broken! ‘You cannot,’ he growled. ‘You cannot help it, Redeemer. You can only fall to it. Fall, vanish, be swallowed up.’
‘He wants me. She wants me. She gave him this want, do you see? Now they share.’
Seerdomin turned to gaze upon the High Priestess. She was growing more arms, each bearing a weapon, each weapon whirling and spinning in a clashing web of edged iron. Kelyk sprayed from the blades, a whirling cloud of droplets. Her dance was carrying her closer.
The attack was beginning.
‘Who,’ Seerdomin whispered, ‘will share this with me7.’
‘Find her,’ said the Redeemer. ‘She remains, deep inside. Drowning, but alive. Find her.’
‘Salind? She is nothing to me!’
‘She is the fire in Spinnock Durav’s heart. She is his life. Fight not for me. Fight not for yourself. Fight, Seerdomin, for your friend.’
A sob was wrenched from the warrior. His soul found a voice, and that voice wailed its anguish. Gasping, he lifted his sword and set his eyes upon the woman cavorting in her dance of carnage. Can I do this? Spinnock Durav, you fool, how could you have fallen so?