I would have to go back again to Mount Lykabettus. I would have to speak to the crazy lady again. Now even more depressed, I sank towards miserable slumber.

Helena grabbed my arm. She had heard something I had missed above the storm. Groaning, I forced myself back awake yet again. We listened. We became aware of voices in the inn courtyard, a storey below us. Men were shouting. One of the things they were shouting was my name.

I had been called out at night for many things – all bad. The old panic gripped immediately. If we had been in Rome, I would have thought at once that this commotion was caused by the vigiles – my crony Petronius Longus, the enquiry chief of the Fourth Cohort, summoning me once again to some grim scene of blood and mayhem in which he thought I had an interest. Here, who knew how the streets were policed? And why would anyone seek me to attend on trouble?

"Didius Falc o- where are you?'

I grabbed a blanket and stumbled out on to the balcony which ran around the inn's dark courtyard. The night was pitch black and the rain currently pouring harder than ever. Only someone with an emergency would be out in this – or idiots. Angry shouts from other bedrooms told us most guests reckoned it was idiots calling out. I soon agreed.

Dim torches struggled to stay alight, showing us our visitors. They were too drunk to care about the weather. Hair plastered their foreheads. Tunics clung to their backs and legs, running with rivulets of rain. One or two still had wreaths of flowers, now dripping water into their reddened eyes. Some leaned against one another for balance, others teetered, solo. I spotted Young Glaucus, recognisable by his size, his sobriety, and the fact that he alone was trying to impose sense on the procession. Helena came up behind me; she had dragged on a long tunic and held another round her shoulders.

"What's happened? Is it Aulus?' Alarmed, she thought her brother must be in some desperate situation.

"Oh it's Aulus all right!'

Aulus looked up at me, with a hint of apology. Then bowed his head and slumped helplessly against Young Glaucus. Glaucus held him up with one arm and with his free hand tapped his own forehead, signalling madness.

"You are Falco!' a man called out triumphantly, his Latin so heavily accented it was nearly Greek. Heedless of the weather and the late hour, heedless of good manners and good taste, he bawled to us at the top of his voice. It was a good voice. Baritone. Used to addressing the public. Used to silencing academic critics and opponents in turbulent lawcourts. It would be pointless to berate him. He would enjoy the challenge.

"Hail to you, Falco! I am Minas of Karystos! These are my friends. He waved to a group of almost twenty men, all in advanced states of serious good cheer. I could see one fellow urinating at great

length against a pillar; the sound of his monumental pissing was lost in the rain. Some were young, many older, old enough to know better. All had had a brilliant evening up until now. They were game for more.

"May we come in?' demanded their atrocious leader. He had the formal politeness of the very drunk, thank goodness. Whether we could fend him off remained debatable.

Quick thinking gave me a riposte."Sadly no – we have children with us, sleeping.'

Helena and I had squared up like the Few at Thermopylae, prepared to hold the field until death took us. We refused to yield to this colourful invading horde, although they seemed bound to overwhelm us. Under the balcony roof, rain was gusting in; we were soaked through. My feet were in standing water too.

Minas of Karystos made a curious figure. He was small, elderly, and

keen, like a grandfather taking his grandsons to a stadium. He wore a long tunic in a gaudy hue, with a six-inch embroidered border in which precious metal glinted. Beneath a neatly placed wreath of flowers, grey hair hung in wet straggles.

"Minas of Karystos, I have heard much of your eminence and |

reputation. I am delighted to make your acquaintance. \

"Come down, Falco!'

"You go and it's divorce!' muttered Helena. Wimpishly, I chose to

stay.

"You get rid of him then!' "How can I? Don't let them come up, Marcus.' \

"If they do, here's the plan – we abandon the boys and dump the luggage. We'll just leave, make a run for it. Head for the harbour and take the first ship \

that's sailing… Minas, it is very late and my wife needs to rest.

"That's right; blame the woman!'

"She is pregnant.

"No chance of that on this trip!'

"Falco, you are a hero; you make many babies!' Oh gods! I could see Aulus hiding his face in horror. I jabbed a finger at him, letting him know who would be blamed for this.

"You Romans are all too austere! Let go! Be free! You should learn to live, Falco!' Why are drunks so unpleasantly self-righteous? And foreign ones hideously worse? If we insulted a bunch of Greeks who were trying to get a good night's sleep, it would cause an international incident. The governor would send Aquillius Macer to ship us home, for endangering provincial stability. But Minas could be as rude as he

liked and was unstoppable."Learn to enjoy yourself like a liberated Greek! Come down to us; we have wine; we have excellent wine here.

Suddenly he gave up. Sensing that there would be no entertainment here, he was eager to move on to the next venue."Ah we shall show you pleasure tomorrow then, Falco! I have a plan; I have a thrilling plan – I have news!' he exclaimed, belatedly remembering the reason for this late-night call."Come down and hear.

I shook my head. I gestured to the rain, and made as if to go indoors. For once it worked.

"I have found your people!' Minas roared, anxious to keep me."I have seen them. I have talked to them. We shall make the wrongdoer show himself. I have a plan; I will show you how, Falco. We shall bring them all together, you and I. Then they will interact and he will be revealed!'

"Fabulous. Minas has invented putting all the suspects in a single room and waiting for the killer to confess…Tell him, Helena. That old ruse stopped working back before the Persians built their bridge across the Hellespont.'

"You're the hero. You tell him.'

"I am going to throw a great big party for this group!' warbled Minas."We shall have wonderful food and wonderful wine – dancers, musicians, talk, and I will teach you to play kottabos, Everyone always wants to play kottabos. You will come, and bring my dear young friend Aelianus. Watch and see. I will find the truth for you!'

The rain continued falling, as the party-goers wandered off again into the night.

LX

I

like a good party. Who doesn't? Believe me, I did not like this one.

I tried to pretend the event was not happening. The following day, I went back to Mount Lykabettus, looking for dreamy-eyed Philomela. She was not at her hut. I gazed out across the plain to the ocean, and wished I was on board one of the triremes and merchant ships that I could just make out, moored on the distant blue water. I wanted to go home.

On my return to our inn, disgruntled, I found Helena reading Plato's Symposium as research for the evening.

"Lucky for some! Intriguing stuff?'

"Pages of debate about the nature of love. Otherwise, little has changed among the greybeards of Athens. Listen to this passage, Marcus.

"I'm not in the mood for Plato, fruit.'

"You will like it.'

"Will I have any choice?'

While I pulled off my dusty boots and cleaned them grimly, she read to me. Suddenly there came a great knocking at the door of the house, like revellers, and the sound of a flute-girl. Agathon told the attendants to go and see who the intruders were. "If they are friends of ours, invite them in, but if not, say that the drinking is over." A little while afterwards they heard the voice of Alcibiades resounding in the court; he was extremely drunk and kept roaring and shouting, "Where is Agathon? Lead me to Agathon," and at length, supported by the flute-girl and some of his attendants, he found his way to them. "Hail, friends," he said, appearing at the threshold, with a massive garland of ivy and violets, his head flowing with ribbons. "Will you have a very drunken man as a companion of your revels?"… I told you philosophy was fun.'