THE vampire was wearing a sports jacket. The fact that it threw me was rather unsettling. It meant I’d accepted the premise. That I was thinking it funny for a vampire to wear a sports jacket.

I was dressed differently, too, in a polo shirt and khaki pants. I had my hair parted on the other side and felt sheepish about it. It was as if I were wearing a disguise so the vampire wouldn’t recognize me. Leaving out the word vampire, it still seemed strange. In my line of detective work, a disguise is about the last thing I’d ever use. I tried to tell myself it’s not a wig or a mustache, just running a comb though my hair in the wrong direction, but I wasn’t buying it. Nothing was going to keep me from feeling like a fool.

I was positioned at the mouth of the alley, as opposed to the night before, when I’d been on the other side of the quad. If he went down the alley, he was mine. If he went anywhere else, I’d have time to follow.

After a lingering kiss, (no, his mouth did not venture anywhere near her neck), he turned and walked off as if he hadn’t a care in the world.

I followed him out of the quad at 116th Street, where he ignored the bus stop and subway station on the corner, instead crossing Broadway and looking uptown as if to hail a cab.

That was a problem. If I wanted to follow him, I’d have to hail a cab, too. If I crossed Broadway to get one, he’d see me. Which is why I didn’t do that. I stayed right where I was. I’d grab a cab going uptown, make him make a U-turn at 116th. I walked a few car lengths downtown, so when I hailed a cab he’d have room to get left and make the turn. There was nothing coming uptown at the moment, which concerned me. I looked to see how the vampire was doing.

That’s when I saw the other guy. He was crossing Broadway, just the way I said I shouldn’t, jaywalking to reach the north side of 116th, right in position to hail a cab.

Only he wasn’t looking for a cab. He was spying on the vampire, while pretending he wasn’t, looking to all intents and purposes exactly like I was afraid I’d look, and probably would have. He was an older man, older than the vampire, anyway, though probably not older than me. Nobody’s older than me these days. He had heavy beard stubble, like he hadn’t shaved that morning. If he had shaved that morning, he had very heavy beard stubble. He wore a gray suit and white shirt, open at the neck.

Cabs were coming, which was good news for them, bad news for me, as none were coming uptown. Which put me in the position of having to sprint across Broadway, hoping to finish a poor third.

The vampire hailed a cab. Now there’s a phrase I never expected to say. But he did, and as it pulled away from the curb, the heavy-bearded, fearless vampire tailer stepped out and hailed another.

I was about to make the mad dash across Broadway when a cab pulled out of a side street, and I hopped in. I was tempted to say, “Follow that vampire.” It was bad enough saying, “Follow that cab.”

“Make a U-turn right here, follow that guy getting into the cab across the street.”

The cabby was a stocky Hispanic in no mood for trouble. “Hey, buddy, what is this?”

I flashed my license. I felt foolish, as usual, which is why I seldom do it. “I’m a PI, it’s a boy-girl thing, no one’s getting hurt.”

The cabby wasn’t sold. “What’s your interest in this guy?”

“None. I’m interested in the guy he’s following.”

The cabby nearly twisted his head off turning to look at me. “What the hell?!”

“You want the fare or not?”

That settled it. The cabby started the meter, pulled out from the curb. He hung a U-turn at 116th Street, and away we went.

It didn’t take long to catch up. The vampire was tooling down Broadway, and his shadow was right on his tail. The guy was following way too close. If I’d been in the cab, I’d have made the cabby drop back. I made my cabby drop back and was a good half a block behind when the vampire’s cab signaled for a left turn.

“He’s turning, don’t lose him!” I told the cabby.

His grunt was eloquent. I tell him to drop back, then I’m afraid he won’t make the light.

It’s important to make the light on Broadway. It’s a two-way, divided street. If you’re in the intersection when the light changes, you can turn left. If you’re not in the intersection, you have to wait for the light to change twice. Once to green on Broadway to let you go, then to green on the cross street to let you complete the turn. Miss a turn like that on a tailing job, and you’re dead.

We made it, but just. My cab broke the plain of the crosswalk somewhere between the last split second of the yellow and the first split second of the red.

The vampire didn’t turn left onto 108th Street. Instead, his cab made a U-turn heading back up Broadway. That was okay, because the light at 109th and Broadway was red, so he couldn’t get away, and there was time to catch up.

But the maneuver meant he’d probably spotted his tail.

He had.

The vampire hopped out of his cab, darted across Broadway, and hailed another cab that had just turned downtown off 109th. When the light changed, he was gone, leaving his two tails caught at the light, snarled in uptown traffic, without a prayer of ever catching up.

DEBBIE couldn’t believe it. “You lost him again!”

“Yes, I did. But it wasn’t my fault.”

“Oh, come on.”

“I’m serious. I don’t think he ever spotted me. I think he spotted the other guy.”

“What other guy?”

“The other guy tailing him.”

“Oh, come on.”

“I know how you feel. I couldn’t believe it, either. I feel like a PI caught in a shaggy vampire story. Morris hailed a cab. The guy hailed a cab and followed him. Morris spotted him and ditched him. Since I was in the third cab, there wasn’t much I could do.”

“You’re not making this up?”

“If I were making it up, it would sound much better. It’s the truth, so it sounds like hell.”

“This other guy. What was he like?”

“Medium height. Stocky. Maybe forty-five to fifty. Thick black hair, a little gray. Heavy beard stubble.”

She exhaled sharply. “Dad!”

“The gentleman is your father?”

“Damn it!”

“I take it he doesn’t approve of your vampire.”

“He doesn’t know he’s a vampire.”

“What does he think he is?”

“A boy.”

I nodded knowingly. “I see.”

“Hey, don’t get chummy with me. You’re not my pal.”

“I understand. I’m your employee. Tell me, how does it work? I know when I lose the vampire, I don’t get paid. What happens when your father loses him?”

She said nothing, just glared.

“Anyway, the job is off. There’s no way to do it with Daddy involved.”

“I’ll take care of him. We’ll have a little talk.”

“And if that doesn’t work?”

“It will.”

“I’d like to believe that.”

“Hey, I’ll do my job. You just do yours.”

I cocked an eye ironically. “You mean you’re giving me another chance.”

“You say it’s Daddy’s fault. I guess I have to give you the benefit of the doubt.”

“I’m thrilled. What’s the deal this time?”

“Same thing. I’ve got a date with Morris.”

“At the end of which he’ll be dropping you off at your dorm?”

“That’s right.”

“But he won’t be going up to your room.”

“No.”

“And you’ve never been to his.”

“What’s your point?”

“I’m just trying to define the relationship.”

“What’s the matter? I’m not promiscuous enough for you?”

“Don’t be dumb. I’ve never known anyone who was dating a vampire before. Naturally, I’m a little curious. If you don’t go to each other’s rooms, what do you do? Just hang out in the park and suck each other’s blood?”

“You wanna check my neck?” she said sarcastically.

“Not necessarily.”

“Go on. Take a look.”

She was wearing a black turtleneck. She pulled it over her head, which gave me a clear view of her neck. Among other things. She was wearing a pushup bra, and it was doing its work. All in all, she was one attractive goth.