I nodded. “Yes.”

“Come with me, then.” Jagrati’s smile widened, showing perfect white teeth. “Perhaps in Kurugiri, you may convince Bao that you did not die. I did not mean to lie to him at first; it is only that I thought it must be so, that the Great Khan must have killed you. I did my best to help him through his grief, wrongly though I guessed. So, will you come?”

Unsure, I glanced sideways at the Falconer.

“Oh, do not trouble yourself with my husband.” Her fingers were firm on my chin, turning me back to face her. Kamadeva’s diamond and Naamah’s gifts pulsed between us. “He does as I will. I am content to allow him his pleasures while I take my own with others, but he will not trouble you if I do not wish it.” The Spider Queen leaned forward and kissed me, her tongue flickering against mine. “So, Moirin, will you come?”

Yes.

The word was on my lips.

“No!” Amrita’s musical voice called out behind me. She tugged me away with surprising strength, wedging herself deftly between Jagrati and me, her graceful hands raised and crossed before her in an unfamiliar mudra. Power and conviction radiated from her small figure. “I will not allow it!”

Jagrati recoiled with a fierce expression of distaste that turned her striking face ugly. “Who will stop me, little Rani?” she asked with a sneer. “Your men?” She gestured at them, every last one transfixed by Kamadeva’s diamond. “I do not think so. Your pet dakini?” She shook her head slowly, a sensual smile returning to her lips. “She is eager to say yes to me. It may prove quite interesting.”

Desire pounded in my veins, merging confusingly with the insistent call of my diadh-anam. I forced myself to stare at the back of Amrita’s head, clenching my teeth to keep the word “yes” from escaping.

“Nonetheless, I forbid it,” Amrita said firmly. “That is a sacred object you profane, Jagrati.” Her hands shifted into the soothing mudra that stilled conflict. “It is not too late for you to obey your kharma,” she said in a softer tone. “Give Kamadeva’s diamond to me, and I will see it restored to the temple.”

The Spider Queen laughed, a sound like silk tearing; and there was dark humor in it, and hatred and loathing, too. It made my skin prickle, and the blood run cold in my veins.

“Oh, I do not think so, little Rani,” she said in that low silken rasp. “I know your kind, daughter of privilege! You are so very, very concerned with the kharma of the less fortunate, so long as it means we will always be there to tan your leather, bury your dead, and haul away your night-soil.”

“I did not choose the way the world is ordered,” my lady Amrita murmured.

“No, but you are content to live in it,” Jagrati observed. “You command us to carry away the shit squeezed stinking from your bowels, and then claim we are unclean because of it, as though it were never a part of you.”

“The priests-”

“I spit on the priests!” Jagrati spat on the ground. “I spit on the gods, too! I have chosen my own destiny.”

“You are only dooming yourself, Jagrati,” Amrita said in a sorrowful voice.

“Ah, no.” Her predatory smile returned. “I am taking quite a few others with me. Now, I shall take your oh so pretty dakini, and perhaps a few of your men, too. Your captain’s a handsome fellow.” She beckoned to Hasan Dar. “Come here.”

He stepped forward obediently, the silver pipe around his neck glinting in the afternoon sunlight.

The pipe that would summon our ambush…

I couldn’t move. The best I could manage was a faint, broken whisper. “The pipe! My lady Amrita… blow the pipe.”

She moved without hesitation to intercept Hasan Dar, raising one hand in a gesture that halted him in his tracks. He blinked in perplexity, but he didn’t protest when Amrita reached for the pipe and blew a long, shrill blast on it.

Shouts came from the copse behind us. I prayed silently that Kamadeva’s diamond wasn’t powerful enough to transfix fifty men charging on horseback all at once.

It seemed it wasn’t, for Jagrati hissed with fury, her stark face transformed into ugliness once more.

The Falconer stirred like a man waking from a dream. “Ambush!” he shouted. “Ride!” He cast a scathing glance at Amrita as he scrambled into the saddle, jerking his mount’s head around. “You will pay for this, little Rani.”

She smiled grimly. “You had better ride fast, Falcon King.”

“Bao!” I called his name in a choked voice. “Don’t go, please!”

He looked briefly at me, and I felt his diadh-anam flicker again; but then Jagrati leaned over in the saddle and spoke to him, and he turned away from me.

They fled before the onslaught of our archers, who came thundering out of hiding, sweeping across the meadow, parting to pass us by. I held my breath, fearful for Bao, unsure whether to pray for success or failure.

Beneath the shadow of Sleeping Calf Rock, at the base of the path that led higher into the mountains, two of the Falconer’s men turned back, sowing confusion in the ranks of their pursuers. The air was filled with the twang of bowstrings and the hum of arrows in flight, and sparkling with the glint of throwing daggers and other hidden weapons.

Hasan Dar shook himself, dropping to one knee before the Rani and lowering his head. “My lady, forgive me,” he said in a hoarse voice. “I failed you.”

Amrita laid one hand on his head. “Not yet, my friend. Go after them, I beg you, and see this finished. Your men will look after me. And…” She glanced at me. “Try not to kill the young man from Ch’in, please.”

He nodded and sprang to his feet, striding toward his mount.

I shivered. “Thank you, my lady.”

She caught my hand and squeezed it, her dark, lustrous gaze searching my face. “Are you all right, Moirin?”

“No,” I said honestly. “Not even close.”

SIXTY-THREE

We passed the night in the hidden encampment in the spruce copse.

I was a wreck.

It had all gone wrong, so very wrong. It had been a good plan, but it was a plan largely conceived by a ten-year-old boy who had not taken into account the possibility that Kamadeva’s diamond would be set in play, rendering ten grown men and one highly susceptible daughter of Naamah’s line vulnerable to desire.

Desire that would not go away.

Ah, gods! It was all entangled and complicated, my diadh-anam and Naamah’s gifts warring against one another, my heart’s yearning for Bao and the unholy wanting that Kamadeva’s diamond had loosed in me doing battle. It gripped me like a fever.

Jagrati.

Her face swam before me in my dreams, gaunt, high-boned, and compelling. Although I did not trust her for an instant, some of the things she had said rang true to me. It was a cruel, unfair world that had given shape to her hatred.

Bao.

My heart ached.

I had come close, so very close, to reaching him. Now, again and again, I reached for him, reached for his diadh-anam, willing that faint flicker of uncertainty to kindle into a blaze, wherein he knew me once more. But although I sensed he was alive, I couldn’t feel him clearly anymore. When I tried, Jagrati’s face arose in my thoughts, mocking me. I would have said “yes” to her without a second thought, without a thought in my mind at all. She had taken what I believed was my strength, and turned it against me. I’d thought I could pit my diadh-anam and Naamah’s gifts against the lure of Kamadeva’s diamond and win.

I’d thought to do battle for Bao.

Instead, I was at war with myself.

“Hush, young goddess.” Amrita stroked my hair, my head pillowed on her lap. “It is not your fault.”

“I should have known,” I murmured.