Lerrys said, “Then you’ll consider it?”
I didn’t answer. A sudden intuition made me look up, and see that he had gone gray-white, his narrow fine features pinched and pale. That bothered me. The Ridenow are super-sensitives. In the distant past of the Comyn, when Darkover dealt with nonhumans, the Ridenow Gift had been bred into their family and they were used to detect strange presences, or give warning of unhealthy psychic or telepathic atmospheres.
He said with a strange intensity, “There are worse things than Terra, Lew. Better to make Darkover a Terran colony, even, than to face Sharra, or anything like that, from our own people.”
“Erlik defend us from either!”
“The choice might be up to you, in the end.”
“Hell, Lerrys, I’m not that important!”
“You may not know it,” he said, “but you may be the key to everything.”
Suddenly it seemed I was looking, not at one man, but at two. My brother’s friend, intent on trying to get me to come over to their faction — and some deeper thing, using Lerrys for its own purpose. I was seriously debating whether I ought to turn on a damper, before he could work some mental trick on me. But I didn’t move fast enough.
A flood of pure malevolence suddenly surged out of him. I jumped up, and with a terrible effort, managed to shut it out of my consciousness. Then I leaped at Lerrys, gripped him with one hand and angrily thrust my mind against his.
It wasn’t Lerrys!
I met perfect, locked defense — and Lerrys alone could never have barred me from his mind. I was using a force harder than I had used on Dyan — and the Ridenow are especially vulnerable to telepathic assault. And while it did not touch whatever was using Lerrys, it tortured him. He writhed a moment, slumped; suddenly, frenzied into convulsions by the thing that held him, he twisted in frantic resistance. With the strength of a maniac or a berserker, he flung off my one-handed grip. And from somewhere, he found strength, too, to slam down a final defense against the assault I was using on him. Gritting my teeth in despair, I let my telepathic touch break loose. If that possessing mind should suddenly withdraw, leaving Lerrys to stand the assault alone, Lerrys would be dead or raving mad before I could get out.
Lerrys lay still, sobbing in air, for a moment Then he sprang upright. I tensed for a renewed attack, but instead he said, quite unexpectedly, “Don’t look so startled! Does it surprise you to know you’re important to Darkover? Think over what I said, Lew. Your brother was a man of sense, you must have some of it too. I imagine you’ll decide I’m right.” Smiling in a friendly way, he held out his hand. Almost numbed, I touched his fingers, wary against some further trick.
His mind was blank, innocent of any guile, the alien gone. tie didn’t even know what he had done.
“What’s the matter? You look a bit off color,” he said. “I’d put on a damper, if I were you, and get some rest. You still need it, I’d say; that blow on the head was nothing to laugh at.” He bowed and went out, and I sank on a couch, wondering if the blow had, indeed, damaged my reason. Must I be alert to attack from everyone? Or was I stark raving mad?”
A battle like that is never easy, and I was shaking in every nerve. Andres, coming through the curtains, stopped and stared in consternation.
“Get me a drink.”
He started his routine protest about drinking on an empty stomach; looked at me again, stopped in mid-grumble and went. More than once I’ve suspected him of being more telepathic than he’ll admit. When he came back it was no Darkovan cordial, but the strong Terran liquor that is sold contraband in Thendara.
I could not close my hand on the glass; to my tremendous shame, I had to lean back and let Andres hold it to my mouth. I hated the fiery stuff; but after I had swallowed a little my head cleared and I could sit up and take the glass without shaking.
“And stop trying to baby me!” I yelled at Andres, who was hovering around as if he thought I’d explode into fragments: But his familiar grumbling had a soothing effect; he’d grumbled just like this when I’d taken a tumble off my pony and broken a couple of ribs on the way down.
Just the same, I waved away his various suggestions of food and bed, and went out.
The sky was murky with traces of a storm; I could see rain squalls coming down across Nevarsin. Bad weather for the Terrans, with their dependence on planes and rockets and the shifty upper atmosphere. Our mountain-bred beasts could endure storms, blizzards, and rain. Why would a sensible people put their trust in a tricky element like the air?
I crossed the courtyard, standing at the edge of the steep embankment where the cliff fell away; a thousand feet below me, the city of Thendara lay sprawled. I leaned on the low stone wall. If one wished to attack the Terrans, one need only choose a stormy night of rain or sleet, so that their planes and rockets were laid up, to meet them on equal terms.
Behind that, the ridge of the mountains were a darker line against the dark sky, and far away, on the high slopes, I saw a gleam of fire. Some hunter’s fire, perhaps; yet the glimmer reminded me that somewhere, a strange white smoke spiraled up through fires that were not ordinary flame, and an incredible tenth-level matrix twisted space around itself.
When once a man has stood at the fires of Sharra, the strange flames call to him, play on his nerves as a heavy hand sweeps harpstrings. But I knew that unless I stilled their harpings I would break completely; so I fought against the maddening live warmth that pulsed somewhere in me, reminding me of things I loathed and feared with all my heart — yet in some strange, shameful way, longed for; loved; desired.
Where could I go to still that harping?
Only-to Callina.
CHAPTER EIGHT
The Aillard rooms were spacious and brilliant; shimmering walls diffused delicate colors over Callina, who knelt on the floor, playing with a little striped beast from the rainforests. It leaped on her shoulder, purring, and flickering two-toed claws in and out of her silk sleeves.
Linnell was seated near her, a harp laid flat across her knees, and Regis standing beside Linnell; but they all sensed my presence at once. Linnell put the harp aside and Callina rose hastily, putting the kitten-thing on the floor and pulling at her skirts; but I went to her and took her in my arms. She would never know how precious she had made herself to me by that glimpse of a self less guarded, less aloof. I held her a moment, then the old frustration slipped back, thrusting like an unsheathed sword between us. Careful.
She evaded me by speaking of Linnell. “Poor child, I’m afraid she and Derik have quarreled. She loves him—”
“It’s who you love that interests me!” I interrupted.
She said, “I am Keeper — and comynara!”
“Comynara!” I suppose I sounded as bitter as I felt. “The Comyn would write your death warrant as soon as your marriage, if it would serve any cause!”
“If it would serve any cause, I would write my own,” she said steadily. My arms strained about her.
“Are you going to let them sell you?” I flung the words at her like a curse. “What do we owe the Comyn? They’ve played hell with our lives since we were born!”
“Lew, I don’t think you understand. I was mad, to let you think we could ever belong to each other. We can’t. Not ever.” Her hands went out, blindly, to push me away. “I can marry Beltran — and still keep my power to aid you, and the Comyn — because — because only because I do not love him. Do you understand?”
I did. I let her go and stood back, looking at her in consternation. Matrix work, for a man, has its frustrating aspects. But I had never stopped to think — more accurately I had never cared a damn — what particular refinements of. hellish-ness it might have for a woman. But before I could break out with the outrage I felt, she turned to Regis.