“It’s all right,” I told her. “It’s okay.” Not even listening to what I said, the words running contrary to all reality and sense.
But they calmed her. Just like before, she subsided. The tide of pain went out, leaving her adrift, her head lolling on the pillow. I got up again, weary and disoriented and a little freaked out. The chair was just a few steps away, but I barely reached it before sinking down.
Jessica. Her body was just a few doors down, unless they’d already moved her. I wanted to be with her, to stay at her side, her small cold hand clutched in mine. If I kept holding it, she would have to stay, and the doctor, sensing my state, had offered to tell Charlotte for me, to break the news. He’d volunteered reluctantly, stoically, the way a man steps forward for a thankless task, to do his duty to God and country, and I was tempted. But this was my job, not his, so I had unclasped my hand and let my daughter go.
Now Charlotte’s breathing was steady and deep, like she’d gone to sleep. I glanced at the doorway, wishing someone would come through, too tired to get up and open it.
“Roland?”
At the sound of my name, a shiver ran through me.
“What am I doing here?”
She sat up in bed, glancing dreamily at her surroundings, smiling with her chewed lip, the bruises purple and bright, like she thought someone was playing a trick on her. Like she’d been transported to the hospital in her sleep so we could all have a good laugh.
“What’s wrong?” she said, the shine leaving her eyes. “It’s something terrible, isn’t it?”
“You don’t remember.”
Her hand reached out. “Tell me what happened.”
I pushed myself out of the chair, then went to the door.
“Roland?” she called. The note of ignorant alarm, the terrible suspicion alloyed with hope, was the same as before, her memory resetting to the moment she woke up.
“Because of her head injury,” I tell Cavallo, “my wife suffered memory loss. Short term. She’d keep forgetting things, and you’d have to tell her all over again. Not who she was or anything like that, but the immediate past. The crash. She’d ask about it. She’d ask about… her,” I say, finally getting the pronoun out. “And at first I kept telling her, and her reaction every time was pretty much word for word like she was reading from the same script, her head playing the moment over and over again.”
Cavallo covers her mouth, peering at me over her fingertips. “That’s awful.”
“The repetition,” I say, “I couldn’t keep doing it. So for two days almost, until she finally got her memory back, I kept it to myself. She’d ask what had happened, and I’d lie to her. Our daughter’s death, it became my secret. And when she finally did remember, when I knew she wouldn’t ask again, God help me I was actually glad. Because I’d never have to tell her again, your daughter is dead. And I hated myself for feeling that.”
The bill paid and the story told, I stagger outside, dazed by emotion and blinded by the light, fumbling for the sunglasses I must have forgotten in the car.
On the curb, after a long pause, I ask for the favor I mentioned before. I need help digging some dirt on Tony Salazar.
“If you don’t want to help,” I tell her, “I’ll understand.”
“It’s not that.” She brushes a stray curl from her eyes. “I’m just a little overwhelmed. And to be honest, it makes me uncomfortable not doing things by the book.”
“Wanda said you were a little uptight.”
“I’m not. But keeping tabs on a fellow cop…”
“These guys aren’t fellow anything. And listen, I still believe there’s some kind of link.”
She puts her arm up between us, like she’s checking the distance. “You don’t have to say that, March. I already told you I’d do it. It’s that or waste my time sitting through briefings on white slavery. I’ll do what I can.”
“In your free time?” I ask, cracking a smile. “Your fiancé won’t be too happy about that.”
She looks wanly at the engagement ring, its sparkle washed out by the sun. “My fiancé’s in Iraq, March. He doesn’t care what hours I work.”
“I didn’t know.”
“What can I say?” She starts toward her car, shrugging in profile. “Noboby’s written a book about it yet.”
I’m still sitting behind the wheel of my own vehicle, soaking up air-conditioning and pondering the turn of events with Cavallo, when my phone starts ringing. Brad Templeton sounds breathless on the other end of the line.
“I don’t want to talk to you right now,” I say. “Your book is a thorn in my side.”
“That’s fine. I’m just touching base with all the dirt I dug up on those names you gave me, but if you’re not interested – ”
“I’m interested. Forgive my uncharacteristic rudeness.”
He chuckles. “It wasn’t easy, my friend, because you had me looking in the wrong direction with all that Internal Affairs stuff. There’s nothing there. But what I did find is a lot juicier. Did you know your friend Keller filed incorporation papers for a private security firm earlier this year?”
“Do tell.”
“He’s connected, I’ll give him that. The corporate officers are a who’s who. Looks like he had some backers with deep pockets.”
“Had? As in, doesn’t have anymore?”
“That’s where it gets interesting,” he says. “Remember that guy Chad Macneil?”
The name is familiar, but I have to reach back all the way to last week’s headlines to make the connection. “The financial planner?”
“The guy who went missing, that’s right. Sunning himself on the beaches of South America, or so the story goes.”
“What about him?”
“He’s on the papers, too. The treasurer.”
“You’re kidding.”
“I’m not. And the crazy thing is, I’m not so sure the investors realize it. I had a chat with one by phone – don’t worry, I didn’t tip my hand – and he seemed oblivious.”
“Are you saying Macneil stole the money out of the corporation?”
He laughs. “It’s a private company, March. I don’t know how I’d find something like that out. But don’t you think it’s an intriguing possibility?”
Yes, I do. Thomson reached out with the promise he could name shooters in the Morales case. Morales was, among other things, a money man – Lorenz even floated the ludicrous idea that since there were no drugs in the house, maybe the crew that hit it had come for the money. Now that notion doesn’t seem quite so ludicrous anymore. Not if Keller’s treasurer, when he absconded, took the company’s capital with him.
In fact, a lot of things suddenly start looking like they might connect. Mitch Geiger’s rogue crew jacking dealers left and right, showing no respect for the territorial boundaries. The tactical know-how of the shooters at the Morales scene, with Castro’s theory about the flanking maneuver outside the bathroom window. It would explain how Thomson could be so certain about naming the bad guys. Maybe he knew them. Maybe he was there. Something like that, it could easily eat away at the conscience of a supposedly reformed man.
“Anything else for me?” I ask.
“That’s it. Now, what have you got for me?”
“All in good time, Brad. Just keep digging for now.”
After I get him off the phone, I check my messages and find that the elusive Vance Balinski has gotten in touch. He sounds nervous, either because he’s not accustomed to leaving voicemail for a homicide detective, or because he knows what’s in the box Thomson gave him. According to the message, he’s on his way to the Morgan St. Café right now, dropping the package off at the counter. I can pick it up there anytime.
I check my watch. If I drive recklessly, I might just get there before he leaves.