Panicked, I grabbed for my dagger and discovered it was missing, as well as my sword.

“Damn it,” I cursed under my breath. Well, I would have to find another way to cut myself then. Something in my many pockets ought to be able to do it.

A slithering, skittering noise interrupted my internal cataloging of my equipment. The strange sound was unfamiliar and startled the hell out of me after all that heavy silence. Whirling around, I searched the darkness, but saw nothing. Nervous, I licked my lips, waving the light around and trying to find the source of the noise, but the darkness remained cold and unmoving. Then again, maybe I wasn’t supposed to just find my way out. Maybe I was supposed to find my way out alive after whatever slimy monster out there tried to bite my head off.

I balanced the crystal on the brim of my top hat, giving it a sort of magical coal miner’s helmet effect. Centering myself with a deep breath, I felt my shields snap into place with an electric sizzle and a spark of multicolored light. Feeling more secure, I dug through my pockets and produced a matchbook. After a few attempts I managed to get one lit, and I turned myself toward the south (thanks to my magician built-in sense of direction).

“Light that warms and nurtures life,

Pierce the darkness like a knife.

Drive back this black unnatural sea,

As I will, so mote it be.”

A ball of fire appeared in front of me, growing from the tiny flame at the end of the match into a small sun the size of a basketball that hovered in front of me. Now that I had a decent light source I extinguished the crystal atop my hat and popped it back into its pocket. The warmth of the flames soothed me, and thanks to its light I was finally able to see the room I had dropped into. Like the floor, the walls were rough earth, and the ceiling stretched high above my head. I didn’t see my father, which was good because I might’ve accidentally hurled the ball of fire in front of me in his general direction. He must have been sent to another room, or perhaps a different test. I turned around to examine the rest of my temporary prison, and saw an enormous golden eye staring at me, less than ten feet away from where I stood.

I did what any sensible witch would do in my circumstance. I screamed like a scared little girl.

The eye blinked. Once, twice, and then shifted as the dragon turned its head toward me, regarding me with both golden eyes. “I could have eaten you, you know.”

I nodded numbly and stammered, “Thank you for not doing that.” I knew dragons existed in Faerie, though I’d never seen one before. Dragons are reclusive as a rule and tend to guard their privacy ferociously, so only the overly brave or overly stupid seek them out on purpose. The creature was huge, taking up a good portion of the room with its bulk. Black scales covered its body, and leathery wings were folded against its back. Smoke puffed out of its nostrils for a moment, and my stomach leapt in panic.

“I only eat virgins though.”

I stared at the dragon in disbelief, feeling the inexplicable urge to defend my past sexual history. My mouth worked as I struggled to find an appropriate response, and I thought I saw a glint of humor in its golden gaze.

“Oh,” I managed. “Why am I here?”

“Because you wish to be Titania.”

“Well, yes, I mean why am I here in this room?”

“Because you wish to be Titania.”

“Right…” I suppose I should have expected that and just been grateful it wasn’t picking bits of Catherine out of its teeth. Turning around, I surveyed the room again, seeing no obvious exit or entrance. “How did you get in here?”

“The same way you did.” The dragon laid its head upon the ground, its tail swishing forward to cover its nose, reminding me of a dog curling up against the cold. I couldn’t imagine why the council would have abducted a dragon to stick in the room with me if it had no intention of eating me, and no intention of helping me either.

“Can you leave?” I asked, curious. Dragons were magical beings, but I really didn’t know the extent of their magical abilities. Maybe it couldn’t teleport, as faeries could, and relied on those leathery wings for transportation when faeries used theirs more as a fashion statement.

“No.” It sighed and smoke puffed out from its snout in a great huff, which made me jump. “And I’m missing Jeopardy!. It’s celebrity week, you know.”

“Yeah, Sean Connery’s on today too.” The absurdity of that statement hit me for a moment and I shook my head. My day was just getting more bizarre by the moment. “Would you like me to help you leave?”

The dragon raised a brow, its expression quizzical. “Can you do that?”

“Umm…maybe?” I guessed. Could I? Sure, I could get myself out of the room by returning home, but I couldn’t bring the dragon into my apartment. Aside from the obvious fact that it was bigger than my entire apartment building, dragons are very specifically forbidden from traveling into the human world and have been for several centuries. That’s why dragons are known to hoard human loot stolen by other faeries. I couldn’t leave the dragon here alone in good conscience, not after it’d been nice enough not to eat me or roast me to a toasty Cat crisp. There had to be a way to do it.

I could try opening a portal to elsewhere in Faerie. I’d never tried anything like it before, but I figured it was hypothetically possible. On Earth you couldn’t use a mirror to go from one place to another, only from Earth to another world. There weren’t any concrete answers as to why that was, but the general thinking was that Earth simply doesn’t have the magic in it to support that sort of travel anymore. Centuries ago a magician didn’t even need a pre-made portal like a mirror to world walk, they could use almost anything as a gateway, especially mist or water. Faerie didn’t suffer from that problem though; Faerie was magic. I should be able to get us from the room to somewhere safer, somewhere I was very familiar with. It was worth a shot, if nothing else.

“Where would you like to go?” I asked after a few minutes. “Does it matter to you if you end up somewhere else in Faerie?”

It shrugged its scaly shoulders. “I can get home from anywhere after I’m out of here.”

“Right then. Not a problem.” I rubbed my hands together, but then paused. “Well, one more question: Can you shrink? Change your shape at all?”

“No.” I could have sworn it frowned at me.

“Bugger,” I muttered. “No worries, still doable. Just a li’l more difficult.” I did my best to sound much more confident than I felt, because honestly I wasn’t sure I could pull this sort of magic off. To get the dragon through the portal I’d have to stretch the edges of the gateway. It was possible in theory, but I’d never attempted anything like it before. I could stretch the glass to fit myself no problem, just needed a bit of blood, but the dragon was huge.

Shaking the doubt off, I squared my shoulders and dropped my shields. As hoped, the dragon stayed where it was and did not attempt to eat me while I was vulnerable. Like it said, it could have eaten me when I first appeared and was stumbling around in the dark, so I just had to trust it wasn’t hostile toward me. Digging into the recesses of my memory, I recalled that despite the stories, dragons didn’t really eat people, and preferred livestock. Hey, unless you’re Hannibal Lecter, wouldn’t you pick a steak over the guy down the street?

From my right-hand pocket I pulled out my compact and opened it, setting it down on the ground in front of me with the mirror facing up. I frowned down at my hand, wondering how I was going to cut it open without my ritual dagger, and I glanced up at the dragon who watched me with much curiosity.

“May I borrow the use of one of your teeth, please?”

It blinked, and then chuckled, the noise a deep rumbling that made the ground beneath my boots vibrate. “Of course,” it answered with equal civility.