CHAPTER 60: PIPKAH THE GREAT

Uzuri heard that Pipkah’s latest fiasco was supposedly due to errors by the lionesses, for the maneuver was a flawless one taught him by “my dear friend Uzuri.” Pipkah had been playing that association to the hilt lately, and Uzuri was determined that at her own time and in her own way she would set the record straight.

Pipkah enjoyed the cool, clear waters of the cistern behind Pride Rock. He came alone, which suited Uzuri just fine.

Pipkah drank deeply, then let out a satisfying belch. Ah, life at Pride Rock was good, even if there was not as much food as there used to be. As one of Shenzi’s trusted ones, he always ate well if nearly everyone else did without.

“It’s me,” Uzuri said, stepping out of the shadows.

“Uzuri!” Pipkah stepped back a pace or two, not certain how much she’d heard or how she would react.

“My Pipkah,” she said softly, nuzzling him. “You know I’m in my season. Taka is content with Elanna, and where does that leave me?”

“Very disappointed?”

“Not really. Not as alone as you might think.” She rubbed along him full length. “It will be awkward at first, but you will adjust with a little help from me.”

Pipkah stepped back again. “Adjust what?”

Uzuri let out a protracted purr, her eyes half closed. “A hunter like me and a hunter like you. When I heard about your legendary skill, that was it. I was lost. Make love to me, Pipkah!”

“Oh gods....” Pipkah swallowed hard. “I’m not really that good! I brag a lot. Some of it is a downright lie!”

“So modest and shy! I think that’s SUCH a turn-on! Just think—we’ll have three days of non-stop passion.”

“Three days??”

He started to leave, but she stepped in his path rather suddenly. “Make love to me, Pipkah! Set me on fire!”

“But I....” He scrambled on top of a small rock. She looked up at him and easily bounded up with him, her body crowded next to his on the small platform.

“But what about—uh—Shimbekh! Yeah, Shimbekh!”

“I’ll have a talk with her.”

“No, don’t do that!”

“She deserves to know what we share between us! She is a good girl, and needs to find another male.” She looked him over appraisingly. “Those are the cutest ears, and that smile is so warm and sexy.”

“Uh, thanks, I think.”

“And check out that fanny!” She reached back with a paw and tickled him.

“Whoa!!! My gods!!!” He jumped from the rock, shivering. “Madam, PLEASE!”

“You don’t have to beg me!” She jumped down, then walked in front of him and crouched down, looking over her back. “Come on, lover! Give it your best shot. We’ll work on it till we get it right.”

Ber padded around the corner and froze. “Oops!”

“Ber! Hey, old buddy!”

“Pipkah—I hope I’m not interrupting anything....”

“Oh, not at all! This is NOT what it looks like!”

Panting and moving her lips in a pout, Uzuri stared at Pipkah. “I’m waiting, honey pot.”

“I can come back later,” Ber said.

“Come back in about three days,” Uzuri said shortly. “We’re otherwise occupied.”

“You said it, sister! But don’t worry—I won’t tell a WORD to the others. Your secret is safe with me.” Ber laughed wickedly. “But of course we ALL know how you feel about each other.” He started to go.

“Don’t leave me here!” Pipkah cried. “I mean, there’s no rush, old friend. I have to get to guard duty. You keep Uzuri company for me.”

“I took on your guard duty, remember?”

“But you’ve been two days without a furlough. I don’t think that’s morally RIGHT, Ber!”

“Hmmm. The only way you could relieve me if you wanted to would be to take the next eight days.”

“EIGHT DAYS??”

“But hey, I got you covered. You’ll have NO INTERRUPTIONS. Kiss kiss!”

“OK, eight days it is!” Pipkah looked at Uzuri. “Sorry to disappoint you, but I have work to do. Maybe in eight days, if you’re still interested, we can have a red-hot honeymoon under the acacias.”

He ran away very quickly.

Uzuri laughed. “Ok, Ber, you remember our agreement? I got you eight days of leisure.”

“And you sneak away for three days to see your husband that I’m not aware exists. If anyone asks me where you are, you’re sick and I saw you retching up breakfast.” He smiled coyly and added, “Behave yourself, my dear! Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do!”

She smiled back. “Honey tree, I’m about to do EVERYTHING you wouldn’t do!”

CHAPTER 61: FACING FACTS

Simba was disturbed by some of the feelings his young adulthood gave him. Hakuna Matata was stretching thin. He wanted a mate, he wanted meat, he wanted a territory, he wanted absolution. In short, he felt trapped, with little hope of ever achieving any of the success predicted by Gur’bruk and Kambra.

Sefu the secretary bird was unconventional, but his advice when given was not taken lightly. And it was to Sefu that he looked for help.

Of course, Sefu was not easily found. Unlike his old friends on Pride Rock, there was no way of knowing when and were the Secretary Bird would show up. Despondent, Simba paused one morning while Timon and Pumbaa continued on to the water hole to get a drink and bowed his head.

“Please, Aiheu, help me! I may not pray every night like I should, and I may be just a fugitive, but Mom said you were merciful. Please give me a second chance, God. Please show me the way--I’m so lost!”

Just when Simba was about to lose his faith in the power of prayer, Sefu surprised them at the watering hole.

“Sefu! I’m so glad to see you!”

“Hey, cat! Likewise!”

While Pumbaa wallowed in the shallows and Timon gargled noisily as he drank, Simba managed to corner Sefu for a moment and try to put into words what was only a feeling of emptiness, a dread of dying alone and forgotten, a creeping despair that eroded him like fungi on a fallen log.

“Hey, been there, done that.” Sefu looked at him appraisingly. “Some of us little folks can fit into a little hole somewhere and hide ourselves from the world. Some of us can’t.”

“Yeah.”

“I heard through the grapevine that you tried to take meat from the local tribesmen. I guess you found out they have a lot of sense for creatures without fur or feathers.”

Simba uttered a short laugh. “No darned kidding.”

“Well they have this custom of making shapes of geese out of pitch covered straw. From a distance, they look real. They are set out in the lake and when the real geese see them, they think its safe and light. Then they get whacked.”

“Is there a moral to this story?”

“No!” Sefu said. “I just wanted you to know that you’re an impostor. You’re not a jungle bum. Hakuna Matata does not fit you. You were meant to be marsh grass, and no matter how much they weave you or tar you, you can't be a goose unless you were born a goose. Fish gotta swim, birds gotta fly--well, at least most of them do--and lions gotta roar. You don't belong here. You'll NEVER belong here. You belong out there, free and unencumbered. As free as the wind blows. As free as the grass grows. Born free to follow your heart." He threw back his wing, held up his head and burst out with "BORN FREE! AS FREE AS THE WIND BLOWS...."

Timon grabbed his beak shut. "Please, don't sing it!" He turned back to Simba. “Listen, kid! It does no good bringing up a lot of false hopes and stirring up a lot of pain. Hakuna Matata is the only way. You gotta be like Pumbaa here--he’s got it all figured out.”