"What’s going on?" Festina called from outside the room.

"The fountain has started on its own. I did nothing to provoke it. The fluid it emits is red."

A pool of the liquid began to accumulate in the basin. I approached, still watching for signs of trouble. Nothing moved anywhere in the room except for the fountain’s central squirt and the streams pouring through the three lower spouts. All the flows were lazy, without much pressure; there was no chance of me being hit by the tiniest splash. I considered that a good thing — the fountain’s dribbly babble was pleasant to listen to, but I was not yet ready to allow the red fluid to touch my skin. For all I knew, it might be a powerful Chemical that would burn my flesh or render me unconscious at the slightest contact.

Instead, I moved to the nearest mini-chili tree and plucked a low-lying fruit from its branches. Taking great care not to squeeze the little chili, I went back to the fountain and tossed the small fruit into the basin, very near the pool that was filling out from the center. The fruit landed neatly with its pointy end aiming inward toward the middle of the bowl. Bit by bit as liquid continued to flow, the level of the fluid rose and its edge inched up the stone toward the chili’s tip.

"What’s happening in there?" Festina called.

"I am performing an experiment. I am exposing an organic object to the influence of a sinister alien liquid."

"The organic object wouldn’t be your hand, would it, missy?"

That, of course, was Uclod. "No," I told him, "I am not such a fool as to use myself for an experimental subject."

"Oh yeah? Then why are you in there, when we’re all out here?"

One had to admit he had a point. But one did not have to admit it out loud, and anyway, the edge of the liquid was almost touching the chili’s bottom tip. I held my breath in anticipation, hoping perhaps the small yellow fruit would burst into flame when the liquid made contact; but the result was more interesting than there fire. As the fluid nudged the chili’s surface, the fruit’s yellow skin slowly changed color — not to red, as you might think, but to a dark purple. Even more intriguing, the chili’s waxy texture grew puffy, bulging and bloating with purplish glee… until the sharp tip of the chili had turned to an ill-defined blob of purple jelly.

I stepped back several paces from the fountain. Several long paces. Taking care not to let my voice quaver, I called to the others, "Um. You will be pleased to learn my experiment has had a Result. Perhaps it would be useful if some independent observer were to witness this Result, so I may believe my own eyes."

Festina was inside the room even before I stopped speaking. She came quickly forward, close enough to the fountain that she could see the chili lying half-in, half-out of the clear crimson liquid. The top of the fruit was still recognizable as a chili; the bottom was equally recognizable as a dollop of purple gloop.

"Holy shit," Festina whispered.

"The holiest," I agreed.

Gray Foam, Purple Goo

I quickly explained what had happened. All the while, the liquid continued to rise in the basin, turning more and more of the chili into quivering gel. When I finished my tale, I asked Festina, "So… is the chili changing into a Fuentes? And if it is, is it now intelligent and lying there listening to us?"

Festina gave a little laugh. "I doubt that a fruit can become sentient just from getting dowsed with liquid. More likely, the fluid is breaking down the chili’s cell structure — like the Modig powder back on Hemlock. With Modig, biologicals always decay into gray foam, whether you start with data circuits or human fingers. With whatever’s in that fountain… I suppose it rips the shit out of something in living cells, and the result is purplish guck."

"If the Fuentes are also purplish guck, they must have used this fluid to rip up their own cells. Why would they do that?"

"Presumably it was the only way to reach the next level of evolution. Maybe you can’t transcend the limitations of physical form unless you break down your body structure. That could be the only way to free your consciousness." Festina shook her head. "Or I could be full of crap. It’s not like I understand this any better than you do."

She turned her gaze to the mutating chili. The little fruit was almost entirely covered with fluid by now… which meant it was almost entirely converted to goo. Festina stared at it a moment, then shivered.

I was feeling the shivers myself. "Perhaps I am just an uncivilized one, but I would not wish to turn into jelly. Not even if I became a million times smarter."

"I’m with you on that," Festina replied. "But hey, I’m just a dumb old human. Maybe when you’re truly ready to jump up the evolutionary ladder, turning into glup seems perfectly sensible. Easiest thing in the world: wake up in the morning, eat breakfast, say, ‘Shucks, it’s time I evolved,’ and splash, you go for a dip in the nearest fountain."

"No," said a whispery voice. "It is not an easy thing. It is the hardest thing in the universe."

A blindingly brilliant light stabbed down from the room’s ceiling, and suddenly two furry creatures stood shoulder-to-shoulder before us.

25: WHEREIN I FACE THE FOE

Tahpo

The two were no taller than Uclod. One’s fur was brown and the other’s was black; apart from that, they appeared exactly identical. Same height, same width, same pose.

Despite their fur, they seemed more like insects than mammals — each had two faceted eyes as big as my fist, and four mandible attachments arranged in a diamond shape around their mouths. The mandibles were constantly in motion: first, the two side ones would rub together furiously, the way a fly rubs its forelegs before eating; then those side parts would spread wide, giving room for the top and bottom attachments to sweep lightly across the lips, as if wiping off whatever dust might have landed in the past few seconds. After that the cycle repeated, with the same fierce rubbing once more.

As for the rest of their bodies, each alien had two short but muscular arms ending in small hands with three clawed fingers and a thumb. At first glance, the creatures appeared to stand on three legs; but when I looked more closely, I saw that only two of the lower limbs were legs (hinged like a rabbit’s haunches). The third limb was a thick tail that ended in a chitinous scoop; the edges of the scoop looked sharp and sturdy, while the tail appeared muscular enough to move the scoop with great force. One supposed having a shovel on one’s tail would be useful for creatures who burrowed underground… but it would also be a powerful weapon in a fight, especially if someone attacked from behind. Indeed, with shovel-tails at the rear, and claws and mandibles at the front, these creatures would be formidable opponents if encountered in a narrow tunnel.

The instant the beetle-things appeared, Festina dived to one side, rolling across the dirt and vaulting to her feet again with her pistol trained on the newcomers. She stood that way for several seconds, no doubt noticing that the aliens carried no obvious weapons and showed no sign of combative behavior. Without lowering her gun, Festina said, "Greetings. We are sentient citizens of the League of Peoples. We beg your Hospitality."

The two furry beetles turned in her direction. This required a sort of hopping move on their back legs; but despite the awkwardness of the maneuver, they remained pressed against each other, keeping in physical contact at all times. After they faced her, they said nothing for several seconds long enough that I wondered if they had understood what she said. Perhaps they only spoke their own language… in which case, it was fortunate I could serve as interpreter. I was preparing to translate what Festina said when the black-furred beetle opened its mouth and a glowing gold ball emerged from its throat.