‘Will you eat in your room or at the table, Tom?’
For answer, I sat up in my bed. There was a new blue woollen robe across the foot of my bed. I pulled it on over my head, and then stood up. The low bed made this more difficult than it should have been, and for a moment I stood still, my head reeling. Then I began my cautious walk to the table. I paused once in the doorway, clinging to the jamb as I caught my breath, then moved to the table. Lord Golden had already seated himself and was uncovering the dishes the boy had set out for him. After a moment, I lowered myself into the chair opposite him.
They had given me an invalid’s meal of broth and runny porridge and bread in milk. On Lord Golden’s side of the table, there were shirred eggs and sausages, bread and butter and preserves and everything else I desired. I knew a moment of irrational fury at him. Then I ate everything they had given me, and washed it down with a cup of lukewarm chamomile tea. Afterwards, I rose and went back to my bed. We had not exchanged a single word. After a time, boredom lulled me into sleep.
I awoke to low voices. ‘Then he is well enough to rise and eat?’ Chade asked.
‘Barely.’ Lord Golden replied. ‘Better to go slowly. He has no reserves of strength to call upon. Yet if you set tasks before him now, he will still—’
‘I’m awake!’ I called out. It came out as a croak. I cleared my throat and tried again. ‘Chade, I’m awake.’
He came quickly to the door of the room and smiled in at me. His white hair gleamed in shining curls and he seemed vital and energetic. He looked down with disdain at Kettricken’s cushion beside my bed. ‘Let me get a chair, boy, and I’ll sit and we’ll chat a bit. You’re looking much better.’
‘I can get up.’
‘Can you? Ah. Well, take my hand and up you come. No, let me help you, don’t be stubborn. Shall we sit by the fire?’
Thus he spoke to me, as if I were a trifle simple. I accepted it as his concern for me, and allowed him to support me as I walked. I lowered myself into one of the cushioned chairs before the hearth. He took the other with a sigh. I looked about for the Fool, but Lord Golden was busy at his desk again.
Chade smiled at me and stretched his feet out towards the fire. ‘I’m so glad to see you doing so well, Fitz. You gave us quite a scare. It took everything we could muster to pull you back.’
‘And that is something we need to talk about,’ I told him gravely.
‘Yes, but not just now. For now, you are to take things slowly and not tax yourself. Sleep and food are what you chiefly need.’
‘Real food,’ I stipulated firmly. ‘Meat. I won’t gain any strength on that pap they sent up this morning.’
His eyebrows rose. ‘Feeling crotchety, are we? Well, that’s to be expected. I’ll see you get meat at noon. All you had to do was tell us you were ready for it. After all, up until a few moments ago I hadn’t even heard you speak since we brought you home.’
It was unreasonable, but I felt my temper rise. Tears stung my eyes. I turned away from him, trying to master myself. What was wrong with me?
Chade spoke as if in answer to my thought. ‘Fitz. Boy. Don’t expect too much of yourself just yet. I’ve seen you through a number of hard times, and this was the worst yet. Give your mind time to recover, as well as your body.’
I took a breath to tell him I was fine. Instead I said, ‘I expected to die down there. Alone.’ And my discordant memories of my jail cell rushed back to fill me. I recalled both my terror and my despair, and felt anger that I had to bear those memories. They had left me there. Chade, the Fool, Kettricken, Dutiful — all of them.
‘I feared the same,’ Chade said quietly. ‘It was a hard time for all of us, but for you, worst of all. Still, if you had heeded me—’
‘Well, of course, it was all my own fault. It always is.’
Lord Golden spoke over his shoulder to Chade. ‘There’s no talking to him when he’s like this. You will only upset him more. Best to let it go for now.’
‘Be silent!’ I roared at him, but my voice cracked to a squeak on the second word.
Chade looked at me in wordless reproach and concern. I pulled my knees up to my chest so I was sitting in a ball in the chair. My breath was coming in shuddering gasps. I took a breath and wiped my sleeve across my eyes. I would not weep. They expected me to fall apart, but I would not. I had been ill, and I’d had a bad scare. That was all. I dragged in a steadying breath. ‘Just talk to me,’ I begged Chade. I unfolded my shaking legs and planted my feet on the floor again. I hated that such weakness had come over me. ‘Tell me what is happening, without making me ask all the stupid questions. Start with Civil.’
Chade heaved a sigh. ‘I don’t think this is wise.’ I began to protest but he held up his hand. ‘Nevertheless, I’ll let you have your way in this. Very well. Civil. He got to his horse and came back to Buckkeep Castle as swiftly as he could without drawing attention to himself. When he got to Dutiful, he could scarcely croak out a word for how he had been strangled. But he got it across that Lord Golden’s serving-man had rescued him from murderers in Buckkeep Town. That was as much as he told Dutiful, then. It was enough for the Prince to bring to me, and for me to set other feet running.’ He cleared his throat, and then admitted, ‘It took us longer than it should have to find you. I had not expected you to kill nor had I thought you would let the city guard take you alive. But when I knew you had been arrested and charged, I got a man into the cell with you as quickly as we could. Unfortunately, they had already had a healer see you, so I could not send in one of my own. The captain was very stubborn about releasing you. He was sure you’d killed those three men and some brawl you’d previously been involved in had marked you as a troublemaker in his eyes. Lord Golden had to complain of his missing jewels thrice before any of the guards thought to search Laudwine’s cottage and find them there. I’d already provided a witness that you hadn’t started the fight. That was as far along as I could nudge it. By the time the captain put together that you’d been defending your master’s property from thieves and released you to us, it was damn near too late.’
‘As far as you could nudge them,’ I said flatly. Alone and cold and dying. He’d ‘nudged’ them.
‘The Queen wanted to do more. She wanted simply to march her own guard down there and remove you from the cell. I couldn’t allow it, Fitz. For, yes, there were other Piebalds. The day after you killed Laudwine, there were scrolls posted in several places saying that Laudwine and Padget were Witted, and that agents of the Queen had killed both them and their Wit-beasts. And it mocked her avowed intent to end unjust persecution of the Witted. It warned any Old Blood not to be stupid enough to trust her and come to her Old Blood convocation. And it ended by saying that she and her minions would kill anyone who tried to speak the truth: that her own son was Witted.’ He paused a moment. ‘So you see now. I had to leave you there. I didn’t want to, Fitz. And I shouldn’t have to tell you that.’
I put my face down in my hands. Yes. I should have heeded Chade. I had precipitated this. ‘I suppose I should have let them kill Civil. And then run and reported the murder.’
‘That would have been one way,’ Chade agreed. ‘But I think it would have damaged your relationship with Dutiful, even if you had concealed that you could have prevented his friend’s death. And now, I think that is enough for today. Back to bed with you.’
‘No. Finish this, at least. What did you do about the scrolls accusing Dutiful?
‘Do? Nothing, of course. We ignored them as ridiculous. And we took great care that there was no royal interest in Lord Golden’s serving-man confined in a cell. The city guard had their murderer. Let justice take its course. The posted accusations were ridiculous, a wild attempt by someone to smear the Prince’s good name. It was doubly ridiculous, in that the Prince still bore the deep scratches from his good friend’s hunting cat. Surely a coursing beast would not attack a Witted one. All know the power Witted have over animals. And so on. In time, it was shown that the dead men were no better than common thieves. There was nothing of the Wit in what had happened, and certainly no royal interference. Thieves had been killed by a good servant protecting his master’s property.’