“The best,” she said through gritted teeth. “And unless you’ve made good on my little contract, you-know-who will be coming for it.”

“Little contract?” Celia asked.

I tightened my fist in Vivian’s hair, a warning. I needed a minute to think of an answer that would avoid—

“She didn’t tell you?” Vivian blurted. I jerked her head back, but before I could reach for the gag she said, “Not even after her friend’s little car accident?”

I looked at Celia. She looked at me. A deer caught in car headlights must feel like I felt then.

Johnny and Erik came in the front door. Both were breathing like marathon runners after a race. It gave me reason to pause and an instant to think. After they closed and locked the door, the men came quickly to the kitchen. “They got away. But more are sure to come.”

“What are beholders, anyway?” I asked, hoping the diversion would make everyone else forget what they’d just heard.

Johnny started to answer, but Vivian growled, “The beholders have been here already?”

“You knew?” he asked.

“Go to my car. Inside it is a wooden box—pray they haven’t taken it already. Bring it into the house. Now.” She barked orders as if she was going to be obeyed despite having been tied to a chair after breaking and entering. “Do it, or we’ll all be killed!”

Johnny asked me, “What is she talking about?” His urgency and tone dropped as his attention flicked back and forth between me and Celia. He smelled the tension between us. “What did I miss?”

I jerked the gag up and into Vivian’s mouth.

Everyone was staring at me except Vivian. I glanced around the room. My friends, Nana, and Beverley were all waiting for me to say something, to explain. The wolves shifted closer to each other, a pack trait for certain. I felt like I was standing at the wrong end of a loaded gun. My heart pounded in my chest.

They’d all put so much faith in me, come here to help me. Did I have enough faith in their friendship to tell them the truth?

I thought of Nancy. She’d had enough faith in friendship to tell me and Olivia and Betsy her truth, enough love for us to want us to have what she’d found. And we had helped her right out of our lives for it. I didn’t want to lose the wærewolves—I realized then how much I valued them. And not for the money kenneling brought in either—I spent most of it on their treats anyway. They were the only outside connections I had to the world. I’d holed myself up, alone, in this saltbox farmhouse for two years. Just a computer and me, with me denying that I needed anyone or wanted anyone in my life. If not for the wærewolves, I’d have no one. Nana would be it. I didn’t want Nana to be “it” for me.

I swallowed hard. The breath I took filled my lungs with the heaviest air.

“All of you have trusted me. Trusted me with your secrets, trusted me not to betray you in your mainstream life. Trusted me to keep you safe during the full moon, and to let you out when it’s passed.” I stared at the floor and licked my lips. “It’s time I started trusting you back.”

Chapter 15

Vivian contacted me after”—I focused on Beverley—“after your mother’s murder. You see, last year someone was stalking Lorrie.” I looked around the room, meeting everyone’s eyes in turn. If I was going to say this, I had to do it right. “A real sleaze. I did a spell using dirt from your father’s grave, Beverley, a spell that’s supposed to enlist the aid of those who’ve passed. But this stalker jerk was an addict of some kind, and the subtle influences from the other side must have gone unnoticed. Anyway, after a Tarot reading I did for Lorrie, it was clear his intentions were malicious and it seemed that someone would have to physically confront him. So…I did.” I looked to Johnny last, and it seemed like I was making my confession to him. Somehow, that made it easier to continue.

“You?” Erik asked. “She was wære. Why didn’t she just knock him around?”

“Erik.” Celia took his hand. “Lorrie wasn’t like that. She was afraid of her strength. She wouldn’t hurt a fly before she was infected, and that didn’t change afterward.” She nodded at Beverley. “Your mom was the sweetest person I ever knew.”

Beverley swallowed hard, fighting tears.

“This guy always seemed to be around when Beverley was, and Lorrie was afraid he’d hurt her. When I confronted him, he pulled a knife. We struggled. He was on something, maybe PCP, I don’t know. It made him strong, but clumsy. We fell, and the knife went into him. He died.”

Vivian started laughing through her gag.

“Shut up,” Johnny said with such vehement sternness that she obeyed without hesitation. When he looked at me again, it was my cue to go on, but my boldness had seeped away.

“It was an accident,” I said. “I didn’t go there to kill him, but apparently Lorrie must have thought I had. She told Vivian, who obviously thought I was keen on being some kind of assassin.” I felt so stupid and so ashamed I couldn’t meet their eyes. “Vivian said she knew who’d killed Lorrie and asked me to…to retaliate. To kill him.” I could feel my hands shaking, and I planted them firmly on my hips.

“And you agreed?” Nana asked, incredulous.

“I saved Lorrie’s life once, and it was taken from her anyway. I thought of Beverley and I knew the police wouldn’t pursue the case of a wære-victim.”

So soft a whisper left my nana that I scarcely heard her. “But the Rede…”

I had to look at her, but I couldn’t maintain eye contact. A heartbeat’s worth was all I could stand. “I know, Nana. I know.” I didn’t want to get into the things Amenemhab had told me. Nana might understand my talking with a totem-jackal, but the others wouldn’t.

“Did you…fulfill the contract?” Johnny asked, his tone very careful.

“No. I had a name. I asked Theo to check him out. She found out he was a vampire—and not just any regular bloodsucker either. He’s the abducted brother of the Reverend Samson D. Kline. He was trained and allowed to grow up before he was turned; now he’s at the right hand of a very dangerous master vampire, the one who took him. When I found that out, I called Vivian to tell her to forget the deal, but Beverley was there sobbing, and Vivian was treating her so badly.”

“Are you saying that’s why Theo was run off the road? Why her home and her business were sacked?” Celia asked.

Vivian nodded emphatically. I hated it that she was enjoying this so much.

“Yeah,” I said. “In the truck ride to the doctor’s, Theo whispered to me that it had been him who ran her off the road. It was probably him, or maybe those beholders if they do that kind of thing, who sacked her apartment and office.” I forced my head up and met the eyes of everyone in turn. I’d done this, and I had to own it. “What happened to Theo is my fault.” I saw a mixture of horror and surprise on their faces. All except Beverley’s.

“Wait,” Beverley said. Her dark hair was now loose, a little wave where the pigtails had been. With those big blue eyes looking up at me, she seemed so grown up. “You took on a vampire for my mom?” she asked.

She seemed impressed. But I didn’t deserve her admiration.

“Beverley, I haven’t even seen him. I took Vivian’s money, asked questions, and ended up spending some on Theo’s hospital bill. I thought it would be helping everybody out all around. Get a killer off the streets, with justice served, and the money would help me take care of Nana.” I smiled at her. “I wanted everything to be good. To work out. But…I can’t do this. I can’t defeat a vampire, especially not one of his caliber.”

“Why not?” Johnny asked. Everybody turned to him, as stunned as if he’d just proclaimed himself Elvis.

“What do you mean ‘why not?’” Celia interjected. “Seph’s not an assassin.”