The sound the gun made was very loud in the small room.

Will screamed.

CHAPTER NINETEEN

The world seemed different now to Jake. It had taken on a peculiar, surreal tint. Paranoia colored every thought. He perceived dark schemes and conspiracies behind every word, and a threat in every glance. It was similar in some respects to the way he’d often felt during his brief cocaine period.

He steered his Camry into Stu Walker’s driveway and parked it by rote, like a preprogrammed robot. Even that thought fueled his paranoia. How much control, really, did he have over his own body and its actions? Sometimes very little, it seemed. Yet he had no choice but to keep moving forward.

He entered Stu’s house through the front door and darkness enveloped him. It was as if the world had blinked out, as if he’d suddenly ceased to exist. There was something so comforting-so tempting-about that notion. Then his eyes adjusted to the twilight gloom penetrating the living room windows that overlooked the front yard. His gaze went immediately to the sofa Kristen had been sleeping on when he first glimpsed her.

She wasn’t there.

He groped to the left and found a light switch. Light flooded the foyer and the living room. He locked the front door and went into the kitchen. At a loss as to what to do next, he simply settled into a chair at the kitchen table and closed his eyes. He emptied his mind and focused on the quiet hum of the refrigerator, the low thrum becoming something else as he eased into a state akin to meditation. It was the gentle obliteration of self and feeling, an ascent away from the hurt and confusion his life had become. Maybe if he stayed this focused, he really could float away. His consciousness, his essence, might disperse in the ether, just cease to be.

The sound of heels on linoleum snapped him out of it. He opened his eyes and saw Kristen entering the kitchen through the garage entrance. The sight of her had a curative effect. He came back to himself in an instant, consciousness and awareness slamming home with jarring force.

She showed him a smile, but it became a frown. She wore crisp black slacks and a stylish blazer over a bright white shirt. A business outfit. Her hair was styled and her makeup was impeccable. She hardly resembled the girl he’d met this morning. If anything, she looked far sexier now. He found he couldn’t say anything to her, at least not right away. He didn’t know how to talk to this new Kristen. Though he was happy to see her, he also felt a stirring of sadness. A woman of this caliber was not meant for the likes of Jake McAllister.

She dropped her purse on the table and took the chair next to him, turning it so they were facing each other. “Sorry, I don’t always dress up like this. I was out on a job interview.” Her frown deepened as she studied his face. “Jake, what’s wrong? Where’s Trey? Why aren’t you guys out doing male-bonding stuff?”

Jake laughed. It sounded strange coming out of his mouth. He wasn’t the least amused, nor was there anything funny in what he had to say. “My mother is in jail. She’ll probably be in jail for a long, long time. My brother’s at the police station being interrogated. I had to get out of there. I felt helpless. There was nothing I could do. They said they’d call when they’re through with him.”

Kristen was stunned. “Whoa, whoa, whoa…back up a little, Jake. What the hell’s going on? Why is your mother in jail? Why are the police questioning Trey?”

So he told her about the events of that afternoon, taking his time, including every detail he could remember. “So that’s why I’m out of sorts. To understate. I don’t know what’s gonna happen next-Christ, there’s so much to consider-but I suppose I’ll be at least temporarily responsible for Trey.”

Kristen let out a long, low whistle. “My God. How awful. No wonder you’re so out of it.”

Jake smiled. “Oh, I’m always a little out of it. That’s status quo for me. But the reality of what’s happened is just starting to sink in. It’s too strange. I never anticipated anything like this, of course, but I’ve always known my mother is capable of great cruelty.” His face darkened as images of Hal’s mutilated body came back to him. “Someday I’ll tell you my personal experiences with Jolene McAllister’s idea of the proper way to discipline a child.”

Kristen squeezed his hands. “I wish I could make it all better for you.”

Jake looked into her eyes and felt those things one feels in the presence of someone special-a tightness in his chest and a fluttery feeling in his stomach. He wanted to kiss her. Not just on the mouth, but on her eyelids, her chin, all along that delicate, lovely jawline. She must have sensed what he was thinking, because she leaned into him for a kiss. Jake shuddered at the contact. He shifted toward her, sliding to the edge of his chair as he encircled her with his arms and drew her close. The kiss deepened, and she came out of her chair, planting a knee on the edge of Jake’s chair between his legs. She pushed him against the back of the chair, fell against him, and continued kissing him with a breathtaking hunger.

She broke the contact long enough to say, “I know what you need.”

Her eyes blazed with desire matched by Jake’s own. But that familiar voice of common decency spoke within him again. He could not fuck Stu’s sister. Not yet. And not in this house.

Kristen sighed. “Jesus. I can see those wheels spinning behind your eyes again. Listen up, Jake.” She clamped a hand around his jaw and leaned even closer, so close that her mouth brushed his when she spoke. “Fuck waiting till we know each other better. Fuck every motherfucking thing holding you back.” The hand clamped around his jaw moved to the back of his head, where she seized a handful of his hair and pulled his head back. She grinned. “Most of all, fuck me.”

Her free hand went to his zipper and started to pull it down.

Jake moaned.

He gripped her by the shoulders and, as gently as possible, pushed her back. “We can’t.”

Kristen groaned in disgust. “Christ, Jake, you’re as uptight as my Bible-thumping old granny.”

Jake winced. She was right. And he knew what his real problem was-he was afraid of this next step. It wasn’t so much that it was happening so soon, but that it was happening at all. Intimacy, in his mind, equated with vulnerability. And being vulnerable terrified him. “I’m sorry, Kristen.”

“You’re not getting off the hook so easy. There’s something you don’t know.” There was a wicked glint in her eyes, a hint of secret knowledge. “Stu’s gone. He won’t be back for weeks.”

The revelation dampened Jake’s libido. “What? He just took off? That doesn’t make sense.”

Kristen raised an eyebrow. “Oh?”

A furrow in Jake’s brow deepened. Stu had struck Jake as the sturdy, dependable type. His sudden absence stirred the paranoia in Jake’s mind. Something just wasn’t right about this. On the other hand, what reason did he have to suspect something was wrong? “Where did he go?”

“You don’t know my baby brother too well. He’s very impulsive. One of his exes, Lorelei something or other, came into the bar today. One thing led to another. You know how that is.” She grinned. “Anyway, they went away together.”

“Just like that? Won’t he lose his job?”

Kristen shook her head. “No. Stu’s boss, this guy named Russ, is cool about things like that. He and Stu go off camping and hunting all the time. So Stu and Lorelei are gone. They’ll be in a mountain cabin Russ owns in the Rockies for a while. Weeks maybe, as I said.”

Jake’s paranoia eased some. Kristen was right. He didn’t know Stu very well. Still, it gnawed at him that the guy had vanished so suddenly, and without waiting around long enough to let him know in person what was going on.