If you only knew, Jenny thought.

The maître d’ was heading toward them with menus, a professional smile plastered on his face. “And now, my sweet,” Erich said, “let’s consider that we’ve cleared the air a bit. Let’s have a wonderful dinner together and please know that I’d rather be here with you in this place at this moment than anywhere else with anyone else in the world.”

When they arrived home she deliberately put on the aqua gown. She had not told Erich at dinner about her possible pregnancy. She’d been too shaken by the truth of his observations. When they were in bed, his arms around her, she would tell him.

But he did not stay with her. “I need to be completely alone. I’ll be back by Thursday but not before then.”

She did not dare to protest. “Now don’t get into a creative haze and forget that Mark and Emily are coming to dinner on Friday.”

He looked down at her as she lay in bed. “I won’t forget.” Without kissing her, he left. Once again she was alone in the cavernous bedroom to fall into the uneasy, dream-filled sleep that was becoming a way of life.

19

In spite of everything, planning the dinner party was a pleasant diversion. She wanted to shop herself but would not make driving the car an issue. Instead she compiled a long list for Elsa. “Coquilles St. Jacques,” she told Erich when he came to the house on Friday morning. “Mine is really good. And you say Mark likes a rib roast?” She chatted on, determined to bridge the perceptible estrangement. He’ll get over it, she thought, especially when he knows about the baby.

Kevin had not called again. Maybe he had met a girl in the cast and had become involved. If so, they wouldn’t hear from him for a while. If necessary, as soon as the adoption became final they could take legal steps to make him stay away. Or if he did try to block the adoption, Erich might as a last resort buy him off. Silently, she prayed: Please let the children have a home, a real family. Let it be good again between Erich and me.

The night of the dinner she set out the Limoges china, delicately beautiful with its gold-and-blue border. Mark and Emily were due at eight. Jenny found herself eagerly looking forward to meeting Emily. All her life she’d had girlfriends. She’d lost touch with most of them because of lack of time to keep up contacts after Beth and Tina came along. Maybe Emily and she would hit it off.

She said as much to Erich. “I doubt it,” he told her. “There was a time when the Hanovers looked very fondly at the prospect of having me as a son-in-law. Roger Hanover is the president of the bank in Granite Place and has a good idea of my net worth.”

“Did you ever go out with Emily?”

“A little. But I wasn’t interested and didn’t want to get into a situation that would prove uncomfortable. I was waiting for the perfect woman, you see.”

She tried to make her voice teasing. “Well, you found her, dear.”

He kissed her. “I certainly hope so.”

She flinched. He’s joking, she told herself fiercely.

After she got Beth and Tina into bed, Jenny changed into a white silk blouse with lace cuffs and a multicolored, ankle-length skirt. She studied her reflection in the mirror and realized she was deathly pale. Adding a touch of rouge helped.

Erich had set up the tea table in the parlor as a bar. When she came into the room he studied her carefully. “I like that costume, Jen.”

“That’s good,” she smiled. “You certainly paid enough for it.”

“I thought you didn’t like it. You’ve never worn it before.”

“It seemed kind of dressed up for just sitting around.”

He came over to her. “Is that a spot on your sleeve?”

“That? Oh, it’s just a speck of dust. It must have happened in the store.”

“Then you haven’t worn this outfit before?”

Why did he ask that? Was he simply too sensitive not to know she was hiding something from him?

“First time, girl scout’s honor.”

The door chimes were a welcome interruption. Her mouth had begun to go dry. It’s getting so that no matter what Erich says, I’m afraid of giving myself away, she thought.

Mark was wearing a pepper-and-salt jacket that suited him well. It brought out the gray in his hair, accentuated his broad shoulders, the lean strength of his tall frame. The woman with him was about thirty, small-boned, with wide inquisitive eyes and dark blond hair that skimmed the collar of her well-cut brown velvet suit. Jenny decided that Emily had the air of someone who never had experienced an instant of self-doubt. She made no secret of looking Jenny over from head to toe. “You do realize I have to report to everyone in town what you’re like; the curiosity is overwhelming. My mother gave me a list of twenty questions I’m to discreetly toss in. You haven’t exactly made yourself available to the community.”

Before Jenny could answer, she felt Erich’s arm slip around her waist. “If we’d taken a two-month honeymoon cruise nobody would have thought a thing of it. But as Jenny says, because we chose to honeymoon in our own home, Granite Place is outraged not to be camped in our living room.”

I never said that! Jenny thought helplessly as she watched Emily’s eyes narrow.

Over cocktails, Mark waited until Erich and Emily were deep in conversation before he commented, “You look pale, Jenny. Are you all right?”

“Fine!” She tried to sound as though she meant it.

“Joe told me about his dog. I understand you were pretty upset.”

“I guess I have to learn to understand that things are different here. In New York we cliff dwellers weep collectively over the picture of a stray about to be destroyed. Then somebody shows up to adopt him and we all cheer.”

Emily was looking around the room. “You haven’t changed anything, have you?” she asked. “I don’t know whether Erich has mentioned it but I am an interior designer and if I were you, I’d get rid of those curtains. Sure they’re beautiful but the windows are so overdressed and you lose that glorious view.”

Jenny waited for Erich to defend her. “Apparently, Jen doesn’t agree with you,” he said smoothly. His tone and smile were indulgent.

Erich, that’s unfair, Jenny thought furiously. Should she contradict him? The first Krueger woman in four generations to create a scene in front of a hired hand. How about a scene in front of friends? What was Emily saying?

“… and I happen to be never at peace if I’m not switching things around but maybe that isn’t your interest. I understand you’re an artist too.”

The moment had passed. It was too late to correct the impression Erich had left. “I’m not an artist,” Jenny said. “My degree is in fine arts. I worked in a gallery in New York. That’s where I met Erich.”

“So I’ve heard. Your whirlwind romance has created quite a stir in these parts. How does our rustic life compare with the Big Apple?”

Jenny chose her words carefully. She had to undo the impression that she felt Erich had given that she was scornful of the local people. “I miss my friends, of course. I miss bumping into people who know me and comment on how big the children are getting. I like people and I make friends easily. But once,” she glanced at Erich, “once our honeymoon is officially over, I hope to be active in the community.”

“Report that to your mother, Emily,” Mark suggested.

Jenny thought, Bless you for underscoring. Mark knew what she was trying to do.

Emily laughed, a brittle, mirthless sound. “From what I hear you’ve got at least one friend to keep you amused.”

She had to be referring to the meeting with Kevin. The woman from church had been gossiping. She felt Erich’s questioning look and did not meet his eyes.

Jenny murmured something about seeing to the dinner and went into the kitchen. Her hands were shaking so she could hardly lift the roasting pan from the oven. Suppose Emily followed through on her insinuations? Emily believed she was a widow; now her telling the truth would in effect be branding Erich as a liar. What about Mark? The question had not come up but undoubtedly he too thought she had been a widow.