“Not at all, but I don’t go into a battle without a strategy.
And make no mistake, this would be a battle, possibly one we would not survive.”
“So ‘walk in, smash rock’ isn’t a strategy.”
Mychael’s lips actually curled into a grin. “It’s not used very much.”
“Sometimes simple is best,” I countered. “The previous efforts to destroy the Saghred, they were all magical, right?”
“Mostly.”
“Whenever Phaelan wants something gone, he blows it up. The Saghred looks like a cannonball; I say we use it like one. Put a big enough powder charge behind it… And if it doesn’t work, some payback would feel good right about now. That rock has done enough to us; it has to stop.”
“Raine, I-”
“Tam’s not going to die, and you’re not killing him.” My words lashed out in anger and desperation. “The two of you talk about it like it’s some kind of twisted gentleman’s agreement. Tam’s just nobly going to stand there while you lop off his head-all because of that damned rock.”
“That is a worst-case scenario,” Mychael said firmly. “I don’t want to kill Tam.”
Tam smiled crookedly. “And I’m not keen on dying.”
I ran a hand over my face. “Then let’s stop talking about what you say won’t happen and find a way to make sure that it doesn’t.” I looked at Mychael. “Tam says an umi’atsu bond can’t be broken-safely.”
“It can’t. And even with the few reported successes, the process was extended over weeks. We don’t have weeks. The Saghred links the two of you, and now with it unbound, you may only have days, perhaps only hours. Tam, can you hear Raine’s thoughts?”
“No, only when she’s really scared.”
“I’m not scared; I’m pissed.”
“Tam and I got that impression loud and clear,” Mychael said, smiling faintly. “No mind reading necessary.”
“There are four stages to an umi’atsu bond,” Tam told me. “I believe we’re halfway between the first and second stage.”
I glowered. “What’s stage two?”
“I’d know exactly what you’re calling the two of us right now.”
“Before stage two,” Mychael said, his expression distant.
“That’s workable.”
“You have something in mind.” The tightness in Tam’s voice told me he already didn’t like it.
“I do. I can’t separate you from Raine, but I may be able to slow the bond’s progression.”
I resisted the urge to take a step back. “To buy us some time.”
“But first I need to see how far it has gone.”
“And you’re going to do that how?” My mouth asked the question; my feet thought it was a good time to run.
He saw it in my eyes. “Raine, I would never hurt you.”
“I know that.” And I did. But that didn’t mean I wanted the paladin of the Conclave Guardians carrying out a search warrant inside my head.
“What about the Saghred?” I asked. “I don’t think it’s going to like you trying to slow down its plans.”
“No, I don’t think it will.”
“Mychael, I don’t want to hurt you.”
“That is a risk I’m willing to take.”
“Because it’s your job.”
“It’s more than my job, and you know it.”
I did.
And so did Tam. The tension in the room went up a notch none of us needed.
I exhaled slowly. “I’m not willing to take that risk.” My chest and throat felt tight and the Saghred didn’t have a thing to do with it. “I don’t want to hurt anyone-especially you or Tam.”
Mychael’s calm blue eyes held mine. “Raine, it is you who will be hurt if this bond is allowed to continue unchecked. I promise you that I will do whatever I can to keep that from happening-and I swear on my honor that I will not hurt you.”
Unless it’s necessary, my inner pessimist said.
Mychael’s steadfast and reassuring gaze wasn’t helping things any.
“Please, let me help.” His voice was low and soft. It wasn’t his spellsinger’s voice. Mychael didn’t want to compel my cooperation; he wanted that decision to be mine. But I knew if I said no, his duty wouldn’t just let me walk out of here. One way or another, he was going to do whatever it was he felt he had to do.
I glanced at Tam. With our umi’atsu bond, Mychael going inside of my mind would essentially be him doing the same to Tam. This wasn’t just my decision.
Tam hesitated and then nodded.
“You’re just taking a look around, right?” I asked Mychael.
“Yes. For now.”
I took a deep breath. “Do it.”
He stepped forward, close enough to kiss me, and placed his thumbs against my temples, his strong hands wrapping around my head, his fingertips a warm pressure against the base of my skull. Mychael held my face gently cradled in his hands, those tropical sea blue eyes gazing into mine, then the intensity of the gaze increased, and he looked inside of me-and he saw what was coiled there in the dark, waiting and growing, malignant. It hissed in anger and in warning.
The hiss wasn’t only from the manifestation of the Saghred in my mind.
It was Tam.
I hadn’t heard him move, but I felt him, standing directly behind me and in my mind, with me and with Mychael. Tam stopped just short of touching me, but even though my eyes were locked in a soul embrace with Mychael, I felt the heat of Tam’s hands behind me, feverishly hot, eager to touch, his black magic desperate to take me away from Mychael. Beyond Tam was the Saghred. Neither one of them liked what Mychael was doing.
My breath suddenly came shallow and fast. Mychael in front of me, Tam behind me, both of them and the Saghred inside my mind. Our powers were brushing, touching, melding, flowing from me to them and back again in waves of ice and fire that left me gasping. My heart threatened to pound its way out of my chest. I couldn’t breathe. It was too much.
It was not nearly enough.
It was the Saghred speaking, and more. It was my darkest self, the self who had enjoyed what I’d done to the demons, reveled in it, who wanted to do it again.
I tried to pull away from Mychael, but his strong fingers held me immobile; and behind me, Tam’s hands went around my waist, tight and unyielding.
I heard Mychael’s voice as if from a great distance. “It’s moving too fast. I have to post a sentry.”
“What is-” The question passed from my mind to Mychael’s. My lips couldn’t form words.
Tam clutched me tightly against him, and I felt the growl vibrate low in the goblin’s chest. This wasn’t Tam; it was his black magic fighting for survival.
“If I don’t, you know what will happen to her.” Mychael’s voice was rough with exertion-and with something else. “Her link to the Saghred could be broken right now and it wouldn’t make any difference. Soon you’ll be too far gone, and you’ll drag her down with you. Is that what you want for Raine?”
Tam didn’t respond.
“Is it?” Mychael’s eyes were blazing, the irises enormous, the white all but gone.
“You know I don’t!”
“Then help me. Help her.”
Suddenly the sense of Tam in my mind became less. My mind’s eye could see the unbelievable effort it took for Tam to hold himself back, to contain his black magic. Mychael’s essence filled me completely, overshadowing Tam, overshadowing the black magic-touching the Saghred.
Touching me.
I couldn’t take it; it was too much. A scream rose in my throat. My body couldn’t move, but my hands were free. I had to stop this. I put one hand on Mychael’s chest, the other on Tam’s, pushing them both away.
At the instant of contact, my breath caught and froze. White-hot light exploded before my eyes and inside my mind, and I saw everything, stark and clear as if outlined. I saw Mychael and Tam as if for the first time, completely, their souls laid bare to me.
I had seen Tam’s magic before, under the elven embassy. It was a dark well of power, potent, rushing up from the deep, primal core of him. His black magic was like a caged beast, wild and untamable, tormented by its imprisonment, desperate to escape, its true nature denied for too long. The bars of its cage had been solid and impregnable, but no longer. Some of the bars had faded; a few had regained their power, glowing with renewed strength, a testament to Tam’s efforts to control, to contain. The beast paced, eager yet patient, knowing it would be freed, and knowing it would be soon.