I noticed Helena had joined Terence at his desk.

He looked up as I approached them. “Welcome.” He smiled softly. I sensed sympathy in the older man’s voice, and his accent revealed his Irish roots.

“Sandy, this is Terence O’Malley. Terence, this is Sandy. Terence has been here for…oh gosh, how many years has it been now, Terence?” Helena asked him.

Eleven years, I thought.

“Almost eleven years now,” he replied with a smile.

“Terence worked as a-”

“Librarian in Ballina,” I cut in before even thinking about it. Ten years on, he was still recognizable as the single, fifty-five-year-old librarian who had disappeared on his way home from work eleven years ago.

Helena froze and Terence looked confused.

“Oh yes, I told you that before we came in,” Helena jumped in. “Silly me. I must be getting old, repeating myself like that.” She laughed.

“I know the feeling.” Terence laughed, pushing his sliding spectacles back up his nose.

I’d always thought his nose was exactly like his sister’s. I studied it some more.

“Well.” Terence began to fidget under my glare and he turned to Helena for backup, “Let’s get down to business now, shall we. If you wouldn’t mind taking a seat, Sandy, I’ll help you go through this form, it’s very simple really.”

As I took a seat before the desk I looked at the lines around me; to my right a woman was helping a young boy onto the chair before her desk. “Permettimi di aiutarti a sederti e mi puoi raccontare tutto su come sei arrivato fin qui. Avresti voglia di un po’ di latte con biscotti?”

He looked at her with big brown eyes, as lost as a puppy, and nodded. She nodded to someone behind her, who disappeared through a door behind the desk and returned moments later with a glass of milk and a plate of cookies.

To my right, a bewildered-looking gentleman stepped up to the front of the line. The man at the desk, name tag reading “MARTIN,” smiled at him encouragingly, “Nehmen Sie doch Platz, bitte, dann helfe ich Ihnen mit den Formularen.”

“Sandy.” Terence and Helena were calling me, trying to get my attention.

“Yes, what, sorry.” I snapped out of my trance.

“Terence was asking you where you are from.”

“Leitrim.”

“Is that where you lived?”

“No. Dublin.” I looked around as more people were led into the room looking dazed.

“And you went missing in Dublin,” Terence confirmed.

“No. Limerick.” My voice was quiet as all the thoughts in my head got louder and louder.

“…you know Jim Gannon…Leitrim town?…”

“Yes,” I replied, watching a young African woman draping her ochre-colored blanket tighter around her body as she looked around at her strange surroundings in fear. Armbands of copper, weaved grasses, and beads decorated her skin. We locked eyes for a moment before she quickly looked away and I continued speaking to Terence as though I wasn’t really there. “Jim owns the hardware store. His son taught me geography.”

Terence laughed happily about it being a small world.

“A lot bigger than I thought,” I replied, my voice sounding like it was coming from somewhere else.

Terence’s voice came and went in my head as I looked around at all the faces, all the people who had one moment ago been on their way to work, or walking to the shop, and who had suddenly found themselves here.

“…for a living?”

“She’s involved in theatre, Terence, she runs an acting agency.”

Some more mumbling as I tuned out.

“…is that right, Sandy? You run an agency of your own?”

“Yes,” I said absentmindedly, watching as the little boy beside me was led by the hand through a door behind the Italian registry desk.

He watched me with big worried eyes all the way. I smiled at him lightly and his frown softened. The door was closed behind him.

“Where does that door lead?” I asked suddenly in the middle of one of Terence’s questions.

He stopped. “Which door?”

I looked around the room and noticed for the first time there was a door behind each desk.

“All of them. Where do they all lead to?” I asked faintly.

“That’s where people are briefed on what we know, where we are, and what happens here. There’s counseling services and employment opportunities, and we arrange for somebody from here to come to greet them so that they can guide them around for however long they’re needed.”

I looked at the large solid-oak doors and didn’t say anything.

“As you have already met Helena, she will be your guide,” Terence said gently. “Now we’ll just get through the last of these questions and then you can get out of here, which I’m sure you’re anxious to do.”

The main door opened and sunlight filled the room again. Terence had asked me another question, but I was distracted by the person in the doorway. I watched as a young girl, no older than ten, with soft, bouncing blond curls and big blue eyes walked into the room. She sniffled and wiped her eyes, following the guide who led her into the room.

“Jenny-May,” I whispered, my head becoming dizzy again.

“And your brother’s name?” Terence asked working his way down the form.

“No, hold on a minute, she doesn’t have a sister,” Helena interrupted. “She told me earlier she was an only child.”

“No, no,” Terence sounded slightly agitated, “I asked her if she had any sisters and she said Jenny-May.”

“She mustn’t have heard you correctly, Terence,” Helena said calmly, and the rest of their sentences turned to murmuring in my ears.

My eyes continued to follow the little girl as she was led through the room; my heart beat faster just as it always did when Jenny-May Butler was within a few feet of me.

“Maybe you could clear this up.” Terence looked at me. His face appeared and faded from my vision.

“Maybe she’s not well, Terence. In fact she looks very pale.” Helena’s voice was close to my ear now. “Sandy, would you like to-”

That’s when I passed out.

19

“Sandy.” I could hear my name being called and felt a warm breath on my face. The smell was familiar; sweet coffee that sent my heart into its usual flutter, fanning my body and causing excited chills to chase one another just below the surface of my skin.

Gregory’s hand softly brushed back strands of hair from my face as though gently brushing away sand on an excavation site to reveal something far more precious than me. But that’s what he was, my excavator, the one who unearthed all that was buried beneath to discover my hidden thoughts. One hand was placed at the back of my neck as though I was the most fragile thing he’d ever held; the other softly traced the line of my jaw, occasionally running up my cheeks and through my hair.

“Sandy, honey, open your eyes,” the voice whispered close to my ear.

“Move back, everybody!” a louder and more aggressive voice shouted nearby. “Is she OK?” His voice got louder, closer.

The comforting hand moved from my hair to my hand and grasped it tightly, his thumb soothingly stroking my skin as he spoke quietly, “She’s not responding, call an ambulance.” His voice was distorted and it echoed in my head. My head hurt.

“Oh, mother of Jesus,” the voice muttered.

“Sean, get the kids back into the school, don’t let them watch this,” my savior said calmly.

Sean, Sean, Sean. I knew that name. Knew that voice.

“Where’s that blood coming from?” he panicked.

“Her head. Get the kids away.” My hand was held tighter.

“He hit her hard, the bastard.”

“I know, I saw. I was watching her from the window. Call the ambulance.”

Sean’s shouts to the kids to go inside moved farther away and I was left in the echoing silence with the angel. I felt soft lips on my hand.

“Open your eyes, Sandy,” he whispered. “Please.”

I tried to but they felt as if they were glued together, like a lotus nestled in the mud forced to open its petals ahead of time. My head was heavy, my thoughts clumsy and slow, as it throbbed and pulsated repeatedly with abnormally strong force in the protective hand that cradled it. The ground felt cold and rough beneath me. Concrete. Why was I on the ground? I struggled to get up but my body resisted the action, my eyes wouldn’t open.