“That’s a steamin bag of dog snot if I ever heard it,” Catfish spouted. “I been near this thing and it ain’t never done nothin but scare the daylights out of me.”

“Is that right, Mr. Fish?” H.P. said. “Isn’t it true that your fear of this creature has inspired a lifelong career in music? Perhaps you owe thanks to this beast.”

“I owe ya’ll a ride to the booby hatch, thass what I owe.”

“Enough!” Gabe shouted. “I’m going. You can come or you can stay, but I’m going to help Theo and see if I can keep that creature alive. Mavis, can I borrow your car?”

Mavis threw her keys on the bar. “Wish I was going with you, kid.”

“May I join you?” H.P. asked.

Gabe nodded and looked at Val. “They are your patients.”

She pressed her back against the bar. “This is all going to blow up, and when it all comes out, I’m going to go to jail. I should help with that?“

“Yes,” said Gabe. “Why?”

“Because it’s the right thing to do, and because it’s important to me and you love me.” Val stared at him, then dragged her purse off the bar. “I’ll go, but you will all be getting hate mail from me when I’m in jail.” Mavis looked at Catfish. “Well?”

“Ya’ll go on. I got the Blues on me.” They started out the door. “Don’t you worry, honey,” Mavis called after them. “You’re not going to jail. Mavis will see to it.”

Twenty-nine

Up until the time that Steve had come to town, the most fearsome prehistoric beast on the Central Coast was Mavis Sand’s 1956 Cadillac convertible. It was lemon-pie yellow with a great chrome grill that seemed to slurp at the road as it passed and gold-plated curb feelers that vibrated in the wind like spring-loaded whiskers. The daytime regulars called it the “Banana” and in a fit of ambition had once even fashioned a giant blue Chiquita emblem, which they stuck on the trunk lid while Mavis was working. “Well,” Mavis said, more than somewhat surprised by their efforts, “it ain’t the first banana I’ve rode, but it takes the size record by at least a foot.”

Even in his youth, Gabe had never driven anything like the Banana before. It steered like a barge and it rocked and lurched over dips and potholes like a foundering scow. Gabe had activated the electric top when they’d first climbed in and hadn’t figured out how to put it back up.

Gabe spotted Val’s Mercedes parked on the side of a hill off the main ranch road. There were six other vehicles parked next to it, all four-wheel-drive sport utility vehicles: two Blazers and two larger Suburbans. A group of men in black jumpsuits were standing by the vehicles, the tallest watching them through binoculars and talking on a radio or cell phone.

“Maybe we should have taken a more inconspicuous vehicle,” Gabe said.

“Why didn’t we take your car, Howard?” Val asked. She was slouched in the passenger seat.

Howard sat in the back, as stiff as a mannequin, squinting as if this was his first exposure ever to sunlight. “I own a Jaguar. Superior coach works, none like them in the world outside of Bentley and Rolls. Walnut burl on all the interior surfaces.”

“Doesn’t run, huh?”

“Sorry,” said Howard.

Gabe stopped the Banana at the cattle gate. “What should I do? They’re watching us.”

“Go on up there,” Val said. “That’s why we’re here.” She had gotten brave all of a sudden.

Gabe wasn’t quite so self-assured. “Someone tell me again why the sheriff won’t just shoot us along with Theo and Molly?”

Val was getting into the spirit of the thing, realizing that this might be the only way to atone for what she’d done to her patients. “I’m a psychiatrist, Gabe, and you have a Ph.D. The police don’t shoot people like us.”

“You’re kidding, right?”

Howard said, “Does one require an advanced degree to be immune to gunfire, or does a life of scholarship count as well?”

“Go, Gabe,” Val said. “We’ll be fine.”

Gabe looked over at her and she smiled at him. He smiled back, sort of, and pulled the Banana into the pasture toward five heavily armed men who did not look happy to see them.

Theo had searched the rest of the cave, using the disposable lighter he’d forgotten to abandon with the rest of his pot habit. The cathedral chamber was closed, except for the entrance where Burton waited. Theo gave the Sea Beast a wide clearance on his way back to Molly, who stood just inside the cave mouth.

Burton shouted from outside, “Crowe, we’ve got your friends locked up! This is your last chance to make a deal! I’ll give you five minutes, then we’re using gas!”

Theo turned to Molly in a panic. “We’ve got to get these people out of here, Molly. As soon as the first gas grenade comes in, it’s all over.”

“Don’t we need hostages?”

“For what? He’s not going to negotiate. The only thing he wants is me—and probably you—dead.”

“Why don’t you call someone and tell them what you know? Then Burton won’t have a reason to kill us.”

“All I know is what I’ve seen. With Leander dead, there’s no one to connect him to the labs. I’ve already told Val and Gabe. Now he’s got them. I was an idiot to bring them into this.”

“Sorry,” Molly said.

“Wait.” Theo flipped open his phone and dialed. The phone rang eight times and Theo was glancing at the battery gauge, which showed only a quarter-charge, when a man answered.

“Nailsworth,” the Spider said, leaving the caller to guess that they had contacted the Sheriff’s Department’s information officer.

“Nailsworth, it’s Theo Crowe. I need your help.”

“Having a bad day, Theo?”

What a prick, Theo thought. “Listen, I’m trapped…”

“I know where you are, Theo. Remember, I know ev erything. Actually, I’m glad you called. I had something I wanted to ask you about.”

Theo fought the urge to scream at the megalomaniacal geek. “Please, Nailsworth, I don’t know how long this battery is going to hold out. I need you to do me a favor.”

“Me first.”

“Go,” Theo barked.

“Well, when Burton called me, he mentioned that your accomplice said she was Kendra, Warrior Babe of the Outland. So I started looking around. Turns out there was a Molly Michon admitted to county psychiatric a few times. She left a Pine Cove address. I wondered if…”

“It’s her,” Theo said.

“Wow, you’re kidding! No way!”

“She’s right here.” Theo looked at Molly and shrugged. “Look, you warned me not to go on the ranch. You know about Burton’s crank network.”

“I might,” Nailsworth said.

“Don’t be coy. You know everything. But what I need to know is do you have access to information that could be used as evidence—money transfers, checks, offshore accounts, phone records, and such—stuff you could give to the state attorney?”

“Why, Theo, you’re starting to sound like a cop.”

“Can you get it?”

“Theo, Theo, Theo, don’t be silly. Not only can I get it, but I’ve had it. I’ve been compiling a file for years.”

“Can you get it to the attorney general’s office right now?”

“What’s in it for me?”

“Nailsworth, he’s going to kill us.”

“Kendra is right there with you, huh? I can’t believe it.”

Theo shuddered, halfway between panic and anger. He held the phone out to Molly. “Say something Kendra-like.”

Molly cleared her throat and said, “Die, you scum-sucking mutant pig. The only thing of mine you’ll feel is cold steel!”

“Oh my God! It’s her!” the Spider said.

“Yeah, it is,” Theo said. “Now will you help?”

“I want a copy of the Norwegian Battle Babes. Can I get one?”

Theo covered the receiver and looked at Molly. “Norwegian Battle Babes?”

Molly smiled. “Kendra VI: Battle Babes in the Hot Oil Arena. The Norwegian version is the only version that has full nudity in all the arena scenes. It’s very rare.”

Theo’s mouth had dropped open. His survival had come down to this? “So do you have a copy?”