He tried to slow them down, but it was impossible. He caught just glimpses. In the end, one word became clear, blocking out all others:
Sara.
Funny, but Michael was not afraid of dying. Leaving Sara frightened him more. Alone. With the baby. The future meant something to him now. He had a stake in it, responsibilities. He wanted to stay with Sara, with the baby. So why did this happen now? Why show him what could be only to take it away?
Enough self-pity, Michael. You're making me sick.
He thought about the press conference he would have to give tonight on Newsflash and wondered what he was going to say.
He could just imagine the questions the reporters were going to hurl at him gleefully:
"Have you always been gay?..."
"Did your wife know?..."
"How about your teammates?..."
"How many boyfriends have you had?..."
And oh God, Sara, what am I doing to you? he asked himself.
All I ever wanted to do was protect you. Now, I'm throwing you in the middle of this. I wish I didn't have to. I wish I could just ignore it, blind myself from the truth. But I can't. Why should you have to suffer anymore? Part of me wants to push you away, to shield you from going through this whole AIDS shit with me.
But Michael knew he could never. Sara would never allow it. And he knew that if the roles had been reversed, there would be no way Sara could have persuaded him to let her go. None.
She would want to be there, and selfish as it might be, he wanted her there. He knew he would never make it without her.
He just wished he wasn't so goddamn scared.
"Michael?"
He turned. Sara stood in the doorway. She was so beautiful, so goddamn achingly beautiful... He felt tears come to his eyes, but he forced them back down again.
"I love you," he said.
She limped to the window and hugged him tightly.
He closed his eyes and held on.
"We're going to beat this thing, aren't we?"
She pulled back and looked up at him. A smile flirted with her lips.
"We're going to whip its ass," she said staunchly.
She embraced him again, trying so very hard to believe her own words.
The next morning Lieutenant Bernstein found Dr. Harvey Riker in the lab, checking through his private files.
"Anything missing?" the lieutenant asked.
Harvey shook his head.
"But someone went through them.
A couple of them are out of order."
"Michael's?"
"Yes. Have you heard from the coroner yet?"
Bernstein nodded. The fingers of his right hand busily twisted a paper clip into shapes it was never intended to achieve.
"There were traces of cyanide. Someone injected it into his right arm."
"So it was murder."
"Looks like."
Harvey let go a long breath.
"Did you speak with Kiel Davis yetr
"Yes. He saw nothing. He heard nothing. He knows nothing."
As Harvey was about to respond, Winston O'Connor stepped through the doorway.
"Good morning, Harvey."
"Hi, Winston. Win, I want you to meet Lieutenant Bernstein."
Winston O'Connor stuck out his hand.
"Pleasure, sir. Ain't you kinda young to be a lieutenant?"
Bernstein ignored the common question and busied himself studying the man. Fortyish, thick Southern accent, blond-turning to-grey hair, average height, open smile.
"You're the chief lab technician?"
"That's right," Winston twanged.
"What brings you all around these parts, Lieutenant?"
"Someone broke into this lab last night," Bernstein said, purposely not saying anything about Martino yet.
"You're kidding! A break-in here? What did they taker
"Nothing," Max replied.
"Dr. Riker walked in on them."
"You all right, Harv?"
"Fine."
"Where were you last night at around three in the morning?" Max asked.
Winston's face registered surprise.
"Am I a suspect?"
"No one is a suspect. I'm just trying to figure out what happened."
"I was home all night."
"You live alone?"
"Yes."
"Can anyone vouch for your whereabouts?"
"Why the hell would I need anyone to vouch for me?"
"Please just answer the question."
"No. I don't make a point of having witnesses watch me when I'm in my own home."
"What time did you leave here last night?"
"Around midnight."
"Were you the last one to leave the lab?" "No," Winston said, his voice an octave higher.
"Eric Blake was still here."
"Alone?"
"Yes. I just locked up some of the experiments, same as I do every night, and left him in here." Winston glared at the police detective, but Bernstein diverted his gaze, never allowing the man to look him in the eye.
"Can I go down the hall now to get a cup of coffee, Lieutenant, or do you need my mama's maiden name first?"
"Go."
Winston spun and left.
"Kind of touchy," Bernstein remarked.
"But a good man," Harvey added, "hard worker."
"How long have you known him?"
"Fifteen years."
"How long has he lived in New York?"
"I don't know. Almost twenty years."
Max stroked his chin.
"Interesting."
"What?"
"Nothing. I have a few more questions for you, if you don't mind."
"Ask away."
Bernstein's pacing commenced. He never looked in Harvey's direction as he spoke.
"How many confidential patients do you treat?"
"They are all confidential, Lieutenant."
"Okay, but how many are 'very' confidential, kept away from the rest of the patients behind that door down the hall with no window on it?"
"Right now, just Michael. I came up with the idea of the secluded room when we first started treating Bradley Jenkins."
"How did you meet Jenkins?"
Harvey went back to sorting his files.
"Through his father."
"And how did you meet his father?"
"He came to see me one day. Said he wanted to know more about what we were doing. I was wary, of course. Senator Stephen Jenkins is hardly one who normally sides with our cause.
After a while he said he had heard rumors that we could cure AIDS. I denied it, telling him our success had been miniscule at best. But he was adamant. That's when he told me about his son." "He admitted to you that Bradley had AIDS?"
"Yes, He was desperate, Lieutenant. He may be a bit of a fanatic, but his boy was sick and dying. He promised me he'd help the clinic discreetly if I took Bradley in."
"So you did."
He nodded and then realized that the lieutenant was not facing him.
"I didn't really believe he'd help. I was more hoping he wouldn't hurt."
"Jenkins took a hell of a risk trusting you."
"What choice did he have? He wanted to save his son's life.
We worked out extra security measures like we used with Michael hidden entrances from the basement and all that."
"Besides yourself, who knows the names of the patients in here?"
"That's the weird part. Practically nobody. Bruce knew. Eric knows many of the names, not all. And..." He stopped.
"Who else?" Max asked again.
"Dr. Raymond Markey."
"Who's he?"
"An Assistant Secretary of Health and Human Services. We report to him directly."
"Do you trust him?"
"Not much. He's always been more of a politician than a doctor."
"But he knew Bradley Jenkins was in here?"
"No. We hid it from him."
"How did you manage that?"
"I lied."
"How?"
Harvey shrugged.
"I just left Bradley's name off the patient list I sent Markey."
"And this Markey guy never questioned it?"
"No."
"Does he know you've found a cure?"
"Yes and no. We tell him just enough so he can't pull back the money."
"And he just accepts your word?"
Harvey half-chuckled.
"Hardly. We always back up our claims with irrefutable evidence. A good researcher always guards against a charge of tampering with results. Just the accusation of falsifying data could bring down an entire clinic like ours. That's why I set up a system where at least two doctors work on each case always at separate times. It prevents any hint of wrongdoing."