Why did I think I wasn’t going to like this?

“You mustn’t be captured,” he continued, his eyes boring into mine. “You know what will happen if you are.”

I shuddered. Yeah, I knew. And if you’d asked me a couple weeks ago if I’d be willing to risk being burned at the stake in a rescue attempt, I probably would have said no. I’d have been ashamed of my cowardice, would have hated myself for it, but I wouldn’t have believed I had it in me. There was some small sense of satisfaction in finding out I wasn’t as much of a chicken-shit as I’d once thought.

“Adam is to accompany you on any rescue mission, and he is to stay at your side at all times. He will not allow you to be captured.”

I let out my breath in a loud whoosh. “In other words, if it looks like they’re going to capture me, he’ll kill me?”

“Yes.” He reached out and took my hand, prying my fingers loose from their tight fist. His grip felt firm, strong. More reassuring than it should. “It’s a case of the lesser of two evils. And I am, perhaps, being an irresponsible king in even granting you the option. If I return to the Demon Realm without having defeated my enemies here, there is nothing to prevent them summoning me into another host, and I’m sure they wouldn’t make the same mistake twice.”

His thumb stroked over my knuckles as he held my hand. Maybe I shouldn’t have let him, but I needed that lifeline. He peered at my face, his brows drawn slightly together in an expression that was almost, but not quite, a frown. I read concern and regret in his expression.

“Why would you take the risk?” I asked, meeting his gaze, trying to understand him. “Why would the king of the demons risk himself for a human pawn? Not that I’m complaining, mind you.”

He smiled at that, but quickly sobered. “It’s Dougal who holds human life so cheaply. I suppose I see myself as a defender of the pawns, so to speak. If I don’t defend them, who will?” He laughed. The sound held no humor. “Or perhaps I’m just a misguided, self-important fool who deludes himself into thinking he can save the world.”

He ran his free hand through that scrumptious black hair. This was the first time he’d seemed even vaguely human to me. It was good to know even demons suffered from self-doubt every now and again.

Before I knew what I was doing, I’d reached out to him, finally allowed myself the luxury of touching his face. Maybe he was using his understanding of my innermost thoughts and feelings to manipulate me. If so, at the moment I didn’t care. I just wanted to give him comfort.

His skin was ever so smooth under my fingers, like he’d never had to shave. I almost giggled at the thought, for, of course, he never had. He closed his eyes at my touch, the corners of his mouth tipping up in a hint of a smile.

I finally gave in to the urge to touch his hair, running my fingers through the length of it. His hair was as soft and silky as it looked. I moved closer to him on the bed, and his arm slipped around my shoulders. Arousal tingled over my body, though the touch wasn’t particularly sexual. I snuggled close to his body and laid my head against his shoulder.

We sat like that for a long time, taking silent comfort from one another. I realized that for the first time in my life, I actually liked a demon. And a demon who’d possessed me against my will, at that! Was this how Dominic had felt about Saul? If so, perhaps I understood a little better how Dom could have been so heartbroken over losing him. I still wanted Lugh gone, wanted my life back the way it was before. But I realized with a little squeeze in my heart that I would miss him.

Lugh turned and planted a soft kiss on the top of my head, then pulled away with every semblance of reluctance.

“I should let you sleep,” he murmured. “You’re always tired in the morning when you’ve dreamed with me.”

I shook my head. “I can’t afford to sleep until morning. Brian needs me.”

“He’ll still need you in the morning. And you need your strength.”

“But-”

He put a finger to my lips. “Adam will be working on the problem while you sleep. Rushing in headlong serves no purpose.”

Tears prickled my eyes. “But they’re going to hurt him again.”

“I know,” he said softly. “But they need him alive. If you mount an ill-planned rescue attempt, that won’t be the case anymore. So sleep. Gather your strength. Be ready.”

I took a deep, steadying breath. “Do I have any choice in the matter?”

He shrugged and his gaze slid away from mine. That was answer enough.

Accepting that I wouldn’t budge him, I did my best to swallow my impatience. “I guess I’d better hurry up and sleep then.”

The last thing I saw before sleep took me was a fond little smile on Lugh’s lips.

The next time I awakened, I found myself in the guest room in Adam’s house. Not the black room, thank you, Jesus!

I sat up tentatively, half-expecting the movement to hurt like hell, but Lugh had done a thorough job. I was even able to do a full-body stretch without a twinge. I sighed with relief.

My arms were still stuck through the sleeves of Adam’s shirt, though it had slid down so low I might as well have been topless. I pulled it off, then shuddered when I saw the dried blood that spotted the edges.

I threw the shirt across the room and slid out of bed. I didn’t want to see what my pants looked like, but my skin felt the crusty texture of the waistband and I couldn’t stand to wear them another moment. With shaking hands, I shoved them down my legs and stepped out, closing my eyes tightly as I tossed them, and my panties, in the same general direction I’d tossed the shirt.

I forced myself not to look as I hurried to the bathroom and turned the shower on as hot as I could stand. The water sluiced over my back and trickled down the drain, tinged with red. I fought another shudder and grabbed the soap, scrubbing frantically.

In reality, there wasn’t that much blood. Adam must have cleaned me up when he brought me back to my room. I wasn’t sure how I felt about him leaving me in the bloody clothes. On the one hand, it showed an admirable respect for my modesty, and I knew I’d have been pissed at him if he’d undressed me. On the other hand, it seemed a cruel reminder.

I didn’t turn off the shower until the hot water started running out. Even then, I felt…unclean.

There had been nothing sexual about what Adam had done to me. Oh, he’d been aroused, but he’d made it crystal clear that had nothing to do with me.

So why did I feel violated?

I stood dripping in the shower, my forehead resting against the cool tile, trying to pull the scattered remnants of my sanity back together.

A knock on the bathroom door startled a shriek out of me.

“Morgan?” Adam asked. “Are you all right in there? The shower stopped running twenty minutes ago.”

God, had I been standing here in a daze that long?

“I’m fine,” I lied. “I’ll be right out.”

“Come down to the kitchen when you’re ready.”

I made a sound he took for agreement, and I heard his footsteps retreat. I finally stepped out of the shower and dried myself off. I checked my back in the mirror, but there was no sign that I’d been whipped bloody the night before.

When I reentered the bedroom, I was grateful to see that Adam had taken the bloody clothes away. He’d laid the bra and shirt I’d worn yesterday out on the bed, along with a pair of police-issue sweatpants. I was grateful for them, since I’d left my shopping bags at Brian’s yesterday.

The sweatpants were huge on me, but they didn’t seem in danger of falling down, so that was okay. I didn’t have any panties, but that wasn’t an article of clothing I expected Adam to provide.

I realized I was stalling, so I forced myself out of the room and down the stairs. I’d gone through hell last night to secure Adam’s help in rescuing Brian. Now it was time to see what my blood had bought me.