And who was he to ask exactly what the sexual relationship was? Did he need to remind himself that he had slept with someone else's mother and dressed himself in the light of her daughter's cigar? That he had allowed to die a woman who had put a pony's penis in her mouth for money?
Larch looked out the window at the apple orchard on the hill. That summer of 195-, the trees were thriving; the apples were mostly pale green and pink, the leaves were a vibrant dark green. The trees were almost too tall for Nurse Edna to spray with the Indian pump. I should ask Nurse Caroline to take over the tending of them. Dr.
Larch thought. He wrote a note to himself and left it in the typewriter. The heat made him drowsy. He went to the dispensary and stretched himself out on the bed.
In the summer, with the windows open, he could risk a slightly heavier dose, he thought. {569}
The last summer that Mr. Rose was in charge of the picking crew at Ocean View was the summer of 195-, when Angel Wells was fifteen. All that summer, Angel had been looking forward to the next summer-when he would be sixteen, old enough to have his driver's license. By that time, he imagined, he would have saved enough money-from his summer jobs in the orchards and from his contribution to the harvests-to buy his first car.
His father, Homer Wells, didn't own a car. When Homer went shopping in town or when he volunteered at the hospital in Cape Kenneth, he used one of the farm vehicles. The old Cadillac, which had been equipped with a hand-operated brake and accelerator so Wally could drive it, was often available, and Candy had her own car-a lemon-yellow Jeep, in which she had taught Angel to drive and which was as reliable in the orchards as it was sturdy on the public roads.
'I taught your father how to swim,' Candy always told Angel. 'I guess I can teach you how to drive.'
Of course Angel knew how to drive all the farm vehicles, too. He knew how to mow, and how to spray, and how to operate the forklift. The driver's license was simply necessary, official approval of something Angel already did very well on the farm.
And, for a fifteen-year-old, he looked much older. He could have driven all over Maine and no one would have questioned him. He would be taller than his boyish, round-faced father (they were dead-even as the summer began), and there was a defined angularity in the bones of his face that made him seem already grown up; even the trace of a beard was there. The shadows under his eyes were not unhealthy-looking; they served only to accent the vivid darkness of his eyes. It was a joke between father and son: that the shadows under Angel's eyes were 'inherited.' 'You get your insomnia from me,' Homer Wells would tell his son, who still thought he was adopted. 'You've got no reason to feel adopted,' his father {570} had told him. 'You've got three parents, really. The best that most people get is two.'
Candy had been like a mother to him, and Wally was a second father-or the favorite, eccentric uncle. The only life Angel had known was a life with all of them. At fifteen, he'd never suffered so much as a change of rooms; everything had been the same since he could remember it.
He had what had been Wally's room, the one Wally had shared with Homer. Angel had been born into a real boy's room: he'd grown up surrounded by Wally's tennis and swimming trophies, and the pictures of Candy with Wally (when Wally's legs worked), and even the picture of Candy teaching Homer how to swim. Wally's Purple Heart (which Wally had given to Angel) was hung on the wall over the boy's bed; it concealed an oddly smeared fingerprint-Olive's fingerprint, from the night when she'd crushed a mosquito against that wall, which was the same night Angel Wells had been conceived in the cider house. After fifteen years, the wall needed a fresh coat of paint.
Homer's room down the hall had been the master bedroom; it had been Olive's room and the room where Senior had died. Olive herself had died in Cape Kenneth Hospital before the war was over, even before they'd sent Wally home. It was an inoperable cancer, which spread very quickly after they'd done the exploratory.
Homer and Candy and Ray had taken turns visiting her; one of them was always with Angel but Olive was never alone. Homer and Candy had said-privately, only to each other-that things might have worked out differently if Wally had made it back to the States before Olive died. Because of Wally's precariousness and the added difficulty of moving him in wartime, it was thought best not to tell Wally of Olive's cancer; that was how Olive had wanted it, too.
In the end, Olive thought Wally had come home. She was pumped so full of pain-killers that she mistook {571} Homer for Wally in their last few meetings. Homer had been in the habit of reading to her-from Jane Eyre, from David Copperfield, and from Great Expectations -but he gave that up when Olive's attention began to wander. The first few times Olive confused Homer with Wally, Homer couldn't be sure whom she thought she was addressing.
'You must forgive him,' Olive said. Her speech was slurred. She took Homer's hand, which she did not really hold so much as contain in her lap.
'Forgive him?' said Homer Wells.
'Yes,' Olive said. 'He can't help how much he loves her, or how much he needs her.'
To Candy, Olive was clearer. 'He's going to be crippled. And he's going to lose me. If he loses you, too, who's going to look after him?'
'I'll always look after him,' Candy said. 'Homer and I will look after him.'
But Olive was not so drugged that she failed to detect and dislike the ambiguity of Candy's answer. 'It's not right to hurt or deceive someone who's already been hurt and deceived, Candy,' she said. With the drugs she was taking. Olive felt a perfect freedom. It was not for her to tell them that she knew what she knew; it was for them to tell her what they were keeping from her. Until they told her, she could keep them guessing about what she knew.
To Homer, Olive said: 'He's an orphan.'
'Who is?' Homer asked.
'He is,' she said. 'Don't you forget how needy an orphan is. He'll take everything. He's come from having nothing-when he sees what he can have, he'll take everything he sees. My son,' Olive said, 'don't blame anyone. Blame will kill you.'
'Yes,' said Homer Wells, who held Olive's hand. When he bent over her, to hear how she was breathing, she kissed him as if he were Wally.
'Blame will kill you,' he repeated to Candy, after Olive {572} had died. ' “Dread remorse,” ' said Homer Wells, forever recalling Mr. Rochester's advice.
'Don't quote to me,' Candy told him. 'The thing is, he's coming home. And he doesn't even know his mother's dead. Not to mention,' Candy said; then she stopped talking.
'Not to mention,' said Homer Wells.
Candy and Wally were married less than a month after Wally returned to Ocean View; Wally weighed one hundred forty-seven pounds, and Homer Wells pushed the wheelchair down the church aisle. Candy and Wally occupied the converted bedroom on the ground floor of the big house.
Homer Wells had written to Wilbur Larch, shortly after Wally had come home. Olive's death (Homer wrote to Larch) had 'fixed' things for Candy and Wally more securely than Wally's paralysis, or than whatever sense of betrayal and guilt might have plagued Candy.
'Candy's right: don't worry about Angel,' Wilbur Larch had written to Homer Wells. 'Angel will get enough love. Why would he feel like an orphan if he never is one? If you're a good father to him, and Candy's a good mother to him-and if he's got Wally loving him, too-do you think he's going to start missing some idea of who his so-called real father is? The problem is not going to be Angel's problem. It's going to be yours. You're going to want him to know you're his real father, because of you-not because he's going to need to know. The problem is, you're going to need to tell. You and Candy. You're going to be proud. It will be for you, and not for Angel, that you're going to want to tell him he's no orphan.'