Ian quietly regretted having Charles Bollinger at a listening post. It now seemed faintly unsporting. However, it was too late, and Hay had a fair idea how these games were played and didn’t seem to be offended.
“Mr. Secretary, General Wood, I meet with you today in a dual capacity: first, an unofficial one as a representative of a newly developed commercial firm called Caligula, Limited, and second, as a messenger from His Majesty’s government.
“Caligula’s stock is privately held by a number of important Britons who feel strongly that there are opportunities to make a substantial profit while tweaking the nose of the damnable and insufferable little kaiser.”
Hay stroked his full beard. “May I interpret that to mean that Great Britain is displeased with Germany ’s military adventures?”
“ ‘Aghast’ would be a better word,” Gordon responded. “The last thing we wish is German hegemony in the New World. No, gentlemen, although my country does not wish to directly confront Germany, we do wish her progress impeded, if not stopped altogether. My country is sick of war. The campaigns against the Boers have been so debilitating that it will be a long time before we are ready to fight again; therefore, we must use indirect means against the kaiser.
“And that brings us to the purpose of Caligula, Limited. With the Boer War winding down, we find ourselves in a war economy with no war to fight. We have whole industries geared for military production and warehouses bulging with equipment and supplies of all kinds, shapes, and colors.” He saw that General Wood had put down his glass and was eagerly leaning forward. “Caligula is in the process of buying up this so-called war surplus in hopes that the United States government might be interested in purchasing it. Please note that I said ‘purchase.’ We are not talking about gifts or grants, although we might be creative in our methods of financing and payment, should that be advantageous. As you have doubtless surmised, I am Caligula’s commissioned representative and a minority stockholder.”
“And what equipment and supplies do you have?” asked Wood. “What prices?”
“Gentlemen, without getting into a litany of specifics at this time, I guarantee you the prices will be fair. Surplus weapons will cost a fraction of their retail price. The cost of new weapons, of course, will be higher. As to specific items available, here are some examples. First, we recently replaced our excellent Lee-Metford rifles with even better Lee-Enfields. Thus we have many, many thousands of Metfords lying about gathering dust, along with many millions of rounds of ammunition. The Metfords have ten-shot magazines, which compare favorably with the five-shot magazines for the Mauser and are incomparably superior to your Springfields, which have no magazines and cannot use smokeless powder. Would you be interested in one hundred thousand rifles and, for starters, ten million rounds of ammunition? Smokeless, of course.”
Wood gasped. “Good lord, yes.” Arming the army was one of the many quandaries facing the military. This would be a major step toward resolving the problem. The only difficulty would be the mind-set of Nelson Miles, who thought repeating rifles were unnecessary. But Roosevelt would take care of Miles.
“On receipt of the rifles,” continued Gordon, “I would suggest you adapt our method of prone aimed fire rather than the Prussian method of firing rapidly from the hip while advancing. A good English rifleman can get off between fifteen to thirty shots a minute and actually hit something.”
“I’ll make a note of it,” said Wood.
“On short notice, we can provide you with five hundred Maxim machine guns and an appropriate supply of bullets. We can also get, new, some of those wonderful Swedish 1-pound pom-pom guns that are such quick-firing mankillers. The French will sell Caligula some of their new 75mm rapid-fire cannon, which are useless against fortifications but will do a marvelous job on men in the open. We also have a number of now-redundant 15-pound Long-Tom long-range artillery pieces with which to soften up their fieldworks.”
“Marvelous,” said Wood. “When can we get them over here?”
Now it was Ian Gordon’s turn to smile. “My associates and I were so confident you would be interested that we took a calculated risk and have already begun shipping some of the smaller and lighter items. These are now on the high seas. They will make port in Halifax or Quebec and be shipped overland.”
“Mr. Gordon?” asked Hay.
“Yes, Mr. Secretary?”
“How will you handle Germany ’s reaction to this?”
“Sir, His Majesty’s government will remind the kaiser that England is a democracy, and that its people are free to do what they wish. Thus, and to its eternal regret, the government cannot stop them unless it is specifically illegal. Caligula will offer to trade with the kaiser as a sign of good faith.”
Both Wood and Hay guffawed.
Gordon continued. “Would your government be interested in warships?”
“You are joking!” exclaimed Wood.
“Certainly not. As a budget-cutting device we laid up more than a hundred older warships a few years back. Although they are certainly obsolescent, you might consider whether they would meet your strategic and tactical needs, and whether you can find enough men to crew them.”
Wood scribbled on a notepad. “I will inform the Navy Department.”
“Gentlemen, I also said I was here in an official capacity. My government will be notifying the kaiser that, in the spirit of neutrality, German warships will not be allowed in Canadian waters. These will be defined as the Canadian shore extending twelve miles out from the mainland and the islands. Thus the entire Gulf of Saint Lawrence as well as Hudson Bay will be off-limits to Germany.”
Ian smiled. “We will not prohibit American ships of any kind from fully using those waters for the same reason of neutrality. Your ports coexist with ours in that area, so we would be showing bias if we were to forbid your ships from entering their own home waters. Indeed, sir, we will be initiating a convoy system in order to protect our shipping, and American ships will be welcome to join those protected convoys for the same reason.”
Hay’s face remained impassive while inwardly he rejoiced. Without specifically saying so, the Brits had offered the American navy a desperately needed sanctuary. The ships could gather in the Saint Lawrence and remain until they were strong enough to sortie.
“And what do you suppose the kaiser’s reaction to that will be?” Hay asked.
“He shan’t be given a choice,” Gordon answered. “After all, doesn’t Britannia rule the waves?”
“And waives the rules?” Hay asked impishly.
“Touché.”
“Mr. Gordon, I have only one other question,” said Hay. “Why on earth did you decide on Caligula as the name of your corporation?”
Ian Gordon kept a straight face. “Sir, we decided to commemorate yet another mad emperor.”
The kaiser was not amused. Once again he had convened his supreme war council for the New World venture, and he did not like what was happening. He had expected to be crucified by the world’s liberal press, and he had also expected statements of dismay and official protests and disclaimers from other countries, but he had certainly not expected ridicule.
Chancellor von Bulow was extremely uncomfortable. “All Highest, it is clearly apparent that the United States has no idea how to conduct itself in the sophisticated world arenas of statecraft. Diplomacy, even during war, is an art that must be continually perfected. I am afraid that we must expect similar indiscretions from them in the future.”
The kaiser simply glared. In his hand was a copy of the LondonTimes with the entire ultimatum that the Italian ambassador had belatedly given the United States. Now the whole world knew what Germany wanted. Didn’t the fools understand that such correspondence was the basis for negotiation, not for publication?