Oh God, how could I tell him?

I took a deep breath and walked in. My father, hearing my footsteps, pulled back the curtain.

“Lucas.”

He reached out with one arm, the other hand clutching a coffee cup, cardboard rippling under his grip. One look in his eyes and I knew he already suspected what I was here to tell him. Maybe that should have made it easier. It didn’t.

I walked over and embraced him.

A HALF-HOUR later I was sitting in the tiny Reflections Room with Paige. Two guards were posted at the door. I’d have preferred to stay with my father, but it had been his suggestion that we rest here for a few minutes. Someone had to find Carlos and supervise the intensive operations surrounding not only the investigation into my brothers’ deaths, but also the notifications, the cover-ups and the arrangements, both private and public. It would be too much for my father. The duty fell to me.

And he had another duty, one that I could not help him with: telling Delores that two of her sons were dead and the third was missing.

I hadn’t mentioned my suspicions about Carlos. As strong as my father was, that revelation might be too great a blow.

The search team had a report of Carlos dining at a restaurant he frequented. It had been hours since he’d been there, but it would be a place to start.

I was due to meet with the search team in thirty minutes. In the meantime, I was heeding my father’s advice, resting in the Reflections Room. In a public hospital, this would be the chapel. While many supernaturals adhere to a religious faith, the Cortez Cabal is careful to keep such places nondenominational.

“I don’t think I can do this,” I said after a few minutes.

“You can.”

“Investigate one brother for the murder of the other two? My brothers?”

“You can, but if you don’t want to, he’ll understand.”

I shook my head. “It isn’t a matter of want.”

“Then you can.”

I turned and she kissed me, barely more than a press of her lips against mine, but when she pulled back, I could still taste her. I lifted my hand to the back of her head, pulling her into me, and I wanted to lose myself in her, just for a moment, forget everything and-

My cell phone vibrated.

Paige sputtered a small laugh. “I’m going to guess that isn’t your heart-or anything else-fluttering.”

“Unfortunately.”

“I’ll go find coffees,” she said. “We’ll need them.”

HOPE: DIAMONDS IN THE ROUGH

I dozed as Karl drove, waking, befuddled, when he pulled into a lot I didn’t recognize. Then I remembered I couldn’t go back to my apartment, and briefly wondered how I was going to brush my teeth before deciding it really wasn’t that important.

Karl led me to an exit door. I felt a twinge of curiosity, but couldn’t muster the energy to ask. We entered a quiet, carpeted hotel hallway. A glance up and down the hall, then he sat me in a plush armchair next to a window overlooking a pool.

“I’ll be right back,” he said. “Wait here.”

“Where’s here?”

“The Royal Plaza. I’m going to get us a room.”

His lips brushed the top of my head. I watched him go, numb from my nap and number still from chaos exhaustion.

Why hadn’t we come in the front door? I was sure this was a place with valet service, and surer still that Karl never parked his car when he didn’t need to. One glimpse of my reflection in the window, though, and I realized I was in no state to endure curious stares.

I pulled my feet up, my shoes sliding off. I was almost asleep when Karl’s hands slid under my arms, lifting me.

“Shhh, I’ve got you.”

“No, I can walk.”

So I did, shoes in hand, leaning against him for support. He let me get as far as the room door then scooped me up and carried me inside. Even that brief trip to the bed, rocking against his warm body, was almost enough for me to drift off again.

But then, perversely, as I was finally lowered into the proper place for sleeping, the fog of the past hour parted and everything rushed back.

I saw Bianca’s face as the gun fired. Her killer standing over her body. Benicio’s guard, face destroyed, looking up at me, gaze empty. William reeling back, eyes wide with disbelief. Troy in a pool of blood.

I saw it all and I felt it all, the delicious chaos of destruction and death.

As I started to shake, Karl rubbed my arms, leaning awkwardly over the bed, then he sat and tugged me onto his lap. I huddled there as he whispered and stroked my hair. Was it only yesterday I’d silently cursed him for not knowing how to comfort me when Jaz and Sonny disappeared?

I let myself stay for a couple of minutes, then pushed away and wiped my eyes. As my vision cleared, I saw the last remnants of my mascara smeared across his white shirt.

“I hope you didn’t want to keep that,” I said.

He straightened his arms, the cuffs riding up his forearms. “Not really.”

I looked at the ill-fitting shirt, tear-streaked and mascara-stained, and I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. In the last few hours, I’d yelled at him, kicked him, punched him and thrown up on him, and he was still here. Selfish? I’d never call him that again.

He pulled back the thick white comforter and sheets, and laid me down.

“I’m not really ready for bed yet,” I said.

“I know. I’m just making you comfortable. I’d offer you a drink but…”

“Not the way I like to handle things. And probably not a good habit to get into.”

“Agreed.” He paused. “A bath?”

Any other time, that would have been the right answer. There was nothing like a bath for giving me time alone with my thoughts. But tonight even thinking about being alone, I started to shake again.

“I-I don’t think I can do it, Karl.” I looked up at him, my eyes filling. “If that’s what it’s going to be like…If it’s only going to get worse…I don’t think I’m going to make it.”

The last words came out as a sob, cut off as Karl’s lips pressed against mine. His hands went to my cheeks, holding me still as he pulled back just enough to break the kiss, his lips still touching mine.

“I-I’m sorry,” I said. “I don’t mean to-”

“Shhh. Here, focus on this.”

The room went dark, a vision flashing, but I pulled up straight, shaking my head hard enough to scatter the vision and knock his hands from my cheeks.

“P-please. No more. I’m sorry. I can’t handle any-”

“Shhh. Just look. It’s okay.”

The vision flickered and I tensed. Then, like peeking open one eye, I snuck a quick look.

I was crouched on a dark rooftop. At the distant roar of an engine, I walked to the roof’s edge. Far below, car lights crawled along a busy road. A horn honked. I cocked my head but around me, all was silent.

A slow survey of the rooftop. Adrenaline still surged from a narrow escape. Too narrow, I chided myself. I was too cocky. Took too many chances and came too close to paying the price. But it felt good. So damned good. And I was good enough to pull it off.

A small laugh. Karl’s laugh.

My clenched fist opened and I looked down to see a black-gloved hand and, nestled in the palm, a diamond bracelet glittering in the moonlight.

“Yes?”

Karl’s voice, but disconnected from the vision, and it pulled me back into the hotel room. I was lying in the bed now, Karl stretched out beside me, his arm under my head, his face inches from mine, eyes as bright as the diamonds.

“More,” I said.

He smiled. “Are you sure? You said you didn’t want-”

“More. Please.”

He took me back under, to the rooftop, diamonds in hand, the distant wail of a siren making my heart trip with exhilaration.

Simple chaos, but my favorite kind-that mix of danger and excitement, devoid of moral quandaries. I was certain he hadn’t found the bracelet lying in the trash, but he’d been careful not to show me where it came from, letting me enjoy the aftermath without guilt.