She kept looking into my eyes as she nodded, her posture and expression inviting me to say more, to empty myself into her.
"I left forensics years ago," I said. "I wasn't doing well." That was as much as I wanted to yield, and Julia seemed to know it.
She took a deep breath. "I've always believed people appear in our lives when we need them to," she said.
"I believe that, too," I said. Our eyes met, and I realized why models command the fees they do. Her luminous eyes promised to see the best in me and to help me see it. They made me want to be strong for her.
"The truth is," she said, "the boys and I have lived in fear of Darwin for years. He becomes physically abusive, unpredictably. It used to happen when he drank. I thought the alcohol was to blame. But it only got worse after he managed to stop drinking."
"He hits you?" I asked. I could feel my jaw tighten, my pulse rate start to climb. I knew some of my reaction had to be rooted in having watched my father beat my mother, but I didn't know how much of it. And I didn't know how to control it.
Julia looked embarrassed. "Let's say I've worn my share of dark lenses," she said. "I've hidden a lot over the years."
"And he's physically abusive to the boys?"
Her expression turned solemn. "That's as much my fault as anyone's," she said. "I should have left with them a long time ago."
"So you're saying he does abuse them," I said.
She nodded once. "Billy's gotten the worst of it," she said.
I noticed I was leaning into the table. I settled myself back in my seat. "Why?" I asked.
"Two reasons, I think. First of all, Billy's had a much harder time achieving. Win takes that as a direct challenge to his authority. He doesn't seem to understand that Billy's background may mean he always has to struggle. He literally believes that Billy willfully failed again and again in school-and in sports-to spite him."
That certainly didn't sound like the man who had made so much of Billy being ill, rather than evil-and so worthy of help. But I was learning that Darwin Bishop had at least two faces. "What's the other reason Billy is your husband's preferred target?" I asked. Your husband. I didn't like the words any better when I spoke them.
"Billy is the one who always seems to fight back. He won't give in. No apologies. No promises of more effort or better behavior-not even after setting the house afire. Obviously, that stubbornness makes Darwin angrier. He doesn't have anyone else in his life who stands up to him." Her eyes fell. "Myself included."
I decided to share what Billy had told me about being beaten with a strap. "When I visited Billy at Payne Whitney, he showed me his back," I said.
"He won't let me look at his back," Julia said. "He hides it from me."
"It's covered with welts. He told me that your husband whips him with a belt."
She winced.
"That happened some number of times?" I said. "What Billy described?"
She nodded.
"Do the boys try to protect one another?" I asked.
"No," she said. "They don't have a close relationship. They pretty much steer clear of one another. I've always thought that had something to do with Garret having come from Darwin 's previous marriage. The boys didn't meet until Garret was seven and Billy was six. But I think Garret also avoids him because Billy's been the one acting out, getting into trouble. He doesn't want to be painted with the same brush."
"Or hit with the same strap," I said.
"Or that," she said.
" Darwin told North Anderson and me that Billy inflicted those wounds on himself," I said.
"That's absurd," she said. She looked directly at me again. "Listen to me. Part of me would like to see Billy spend his life in prison for what he did," she said, working to keep her voice steady. "Part of me wishes this state had the death penalty." Her chest rose and fell sharply with her breathing. "I've lost my baby."
"I understand," I said.
"You couldn't."
She was right. I stayed silent.
"I'm here because the other part of me knows that Billy isn't fully to blame for what he did-even though he did it to my daughter. My husband is also guilty. And I am, too, for not having done something about Win's violence." She took a few moments to steady herself. "My husband and Billy have been locked in a terrible struggle," she said. "It's nothing a boy should have had to deal with. Certainly not a boy with Billy's history. And I think it's the reason he struck out at Brooke. I think he really wanted to hurt Win."
That fit eerily with the theory I had shared with Billy during my hospital visit. It also answered a question for me; Julia Bishop obviously didn't think her husband was responsible for her baby's death. I wasn't at all sure she would consider moving Tess off the estate. I decided to slowly test the waters. "I happened to see the New York magazine article that ran after your wedding," I said. "The two of you were driving down Fifth Avenue in a Ferrari. You seemed very much in love."
"I thought I was," Julia said.
"Did you know a great deal about him before you married him?"
"I've learned a lot more. Why do you ask?"
"Had he shared his criminal record with you?" I asked.
"Yes," she said. "But I didn't make much of it. I knew about his drinking."
Not making much of marrying a man who had beaten his first wife-drunk or sober-seemed peculiar. "What exactly did he tell you?" I asked.
"He told me about a barroom brawl that led to an assault charge," she said. "It was around 1980, I think. There was mention of it in the paper when Win was arrested for drunk driving."
I shook my head. "That isn't what the newspaper was referring to," I said. "I pulled Darwin 's record. Your husband pled guilty to assault and battery of his former wife, Lauren, along with violating a restraining order she had taken out. He got the year right, but that's about it."
She looked at me as if I must be joking. Then, seeing that I wasn't, she leaned toward me, incredulous. "I had no idea," she said. She let her head drop into her hands. "I've been so stupid."
It felt like the right moment to introduce the idea of Tess Bishop staying with grandparents. "The question I would ask yourself, Julia, is whether it's completely clear to you that Billy is the one who took Brooke's life."
She looked up. "What do you mean?"
"Billy denies hurting his sister."
"Of course 'he does," she said. "He never admits any of the destructive things he does."
"So you're convinced he's responsible?"
"Well, yes."
I took the leap. "It isn't possible your husband is involved?"
She squinted at me. "You're saying you think Win might have done this?"
"I'm saying the facts of the case aren't clear to me yet. Darwin does have an extensive history of being abusive-toward you, Billy, and Garret. And the pattern goes back even further, to his first marriage."
Julia seemed lost in thought.
"He's the only one in the house who has a known history of violence toward family members," I pressed.
"He never wanted the twins," she said blankly.
I relaxed a bit, thinking she might cooperate with the idea of getting Tess to a safer place. "Tell me more about that," I said.
"He never wanted children of our own. I mean, biological children. He made it very difficult for me when I was pregnant. I nearly went through with an abortion." She squinted down at the table, remembering. "I've wondered whether God is punishing me for that."
"You showed a lot of strength going through with the pregnancy," I said. "I don't know why you'd be punished."
"I wanted children so much," she said. She caught her lip between her teeth.
I waited a few moments. "Why didn't Darwin want them?" I said softly.
"According to him, it has to do with the war," she said, looking up at me. "He won't talk about Vietnam, except to say that he saw horrible things there, things that convinced him it wasn't fair to bring children into the world." She rolled her eyes. "It's a bit of a cliché."