I sighed, surprised I’d revealed so much of my heart. I switched back to business. “Even when the other guardians joined him, Dimitri never backed down. He took down more Strigoi than almost anyone.” Christian and I had actually killed the most. “He… he was amazing.”

I told them the rest of the story that I’d told the Belikovs. Only I actually forced a little detail this time, telling them vividly just how brave and fierce he had been. The words hurt me as I spoke, and yet… it was almost a relief to get them out. I’d kept the memories of that night too close to me.

But eventually, I had to tell them about the cave. And that… that was the worst.

“We’d trapped the escaping Strigoi in a cave. It had two entrances, and we came at them from both sides. Some of our people got trapped, though, and there were more Strigoi than we’d expected. We lost people… but we would have lost a lot more if Dimitri hadn’t been there. He wouldn’t leave until everyone was out. He didn’t care about the risk to himself. He only knew he had to save others…”

I’d seen it in his eyes, that determination. Our plan had finally been to retreat as soon as we were all out, but I’d had the feeling he would have stayed and killed every Strigoi he could find. But he’d followed orders too, finally beginning his retreat when the others were safe. And in those last moments, just before the Strigoi had bitten him, Dimitri had met my eyes with a look so full of love that it was like that whole cave filled with light.

His expression had said what we’d talked about earlier: We can be together, Rose. Soon. We’re almost there. And nothing will ever keep us apart again…

I didn’t mention that part, though. When I finished the rest of the tale, the faces of those gathered were grim but filled with awe and respect. Near the back of the crowd, I noticed Abe and his guardians listening as well. His expression was unreadable. Hard, but not angry or scary. Small cups began circulating through the group, and someone handed me one. A dhampir I didn’t know, one of the few men present, stood up and raised his cup in the air. He spoke loudly and reverently, and I heard Dimitri’s name mentioned several times. When he finished, he drank from the cup.

Everyone else did too, so I followed suit.

And nearly choked to death.

It was like fire in liquid form. It took every ounce of strength I had to swallow it and not spray it on those around me. “Wh… what is this?” I asked, coughing.

Viktoria grinned. “Vodka.”

I peered at the glass. “No, it isn’t. I’ve had vodka before.”

“Not Russian vodka.”

Apparently not. I forced the rest of the cup down out of respect to Dimitri, even though I had a feeling that if he were here, he’d be shaking his head at me. I thought I was done being in the spotlight after my story, but apparently not. Everyone kept asking me questions. They wanted to know more about Dimitri, more about what his life had been like recently. They also wanted to know about me and Dimitri as a couple. They all seemed to have figured out that Dimitri and I had been in love-and they were okay with it. I was asked about how we’d met, how long we’d been together…

And the whole time, people kept refilling my cup. Determined not to look like an idiot again, I kept drinking until I could finally take the vodka down without coughing or spitting. The more I drank, the louder and more animated my stories became. My limbs started to tingle, and part of me knew this was all probably a bad idea. Okay, all of me knew it.

Finally, people began to clear out. I had no idea what time it was, but I think it was the middle of the night. Maybe later. I stood as well, finding it much harder to do than I’d expected. The world wobbled, and my stomach wasn’t very happy with me. Someone caught a hold of my arm and steadied me.

“Easy,” said Sydney. “Don’t push it.” Slowly, carefully, she led me toward the house.

“God,” I moaned. “Do they use that stuff as rocket fuel?”

“No one made you keep drinking it.”

“Hey, don’t get preachy. Besides, I had to be polite.”

“Sure,” she said.

We made it inside and then had the impossible task of getting up the stairs to the room Olena had given me. Each step was agony.

“They all knew about me and Dimitri,” I said, wondering if I’d be saying any of this sober. “But I never told them we were together.”

“You didn’t have to. It’s written all over your face.”

“They acted like I was his widow or something.”

“You might as well be.” We reached my room, and she helped me sit down on the bed. “Not a lot of people get married around here. If you’re with someone long enough, they figure it’s almost the same.”

I sighed and stared off without any particular focus. “I miss him so much.”

“I’m sorry,” she said.

“Will it ever get better?”

The question seemed to catch her by surprise. “I… I don’t know.”

“Have you ever been in love?”

She shook her head. “No.”

I wasn’t sure if that made her lucky or not. I wasn’t sure if all the bright days I’d had with Dimitri were worth the hurt I felt now. A moment later, I knew the truth. “Of course they were.”

“Huh?” asked Sydney.

I realized I’d spoken my thoughts out loud. “Nothing. Just talking to myself. I should get some sleep.”

“Do you need anything else? Are you going to be sick?”

I assessed my queasy stomach. “No, but thanks.”

“Okay.” And in her typically brusque way, she left, turning off the lights and shutting the door.

I would have thought I’d pass out right away. Honestly, I wanted to. My heart had been opened up to too much of Dimitri tonight, and I wanted that pain to go away. I wanted blackness and oblivion. Instead, maybe because I was a glutton for punishment, my heart decided to finish the job and rip itself completely open.

I went to visit Lissa.

CHAPTER 10

Everyone had hit it off so well at lunch with Avery that the group had gotten together again that evening and had kind of a wild time. Lissa was thinking about that as she sat in her first-period English class the next morning. They’d stayed up late last night, sneaking out past curfew. The memory brought a smile to Lissa’s face, even as she stifled a yawn. I couldn’t help but feel a tiny bit of jealousy. I knew Avery was responsible for Lissa’s happiness, and that bothered me on a petty level. Yet… Avery’s new friendship was also making me feel less guilty about leaving Lissa.

Lissa yawned again. It was hard to concentrate on The Scarlet Letter while fighting a slight hangover. Avery seemed to have a never-ending supply of liquor. Adrian had taken to this right away, but Lissa had been a little more hesitant. She’d abandoned her partying days a long time ago, but she’d finally succumbed last night and drunk more glasses of wine than she really should have. It wasn’t unlike my situation with the vodka, ironically enough. Both of us overindulging, despite being miles and miles apart.

Suddenly, a high-pitched wail pierced the air. Lissa’s head shot up, along with everyone else’s in the class. In a corner of the room, a small fire alarm flashed and shrieked its warning. Naturally, some students started cheering while some pretended to be scared. The rest just looked surprised and waited.

Lissa’s instructor also looked a little caught off guard, and after a quick examination, Lissa decided this wasn’t a planned alarm. Teachers usually had a heads-up when there were drills, and Ms. Malloy didn’t wear the usual weary expression teachers had when trying to figure out how much time the drill would cut from their lessons.

“Up and at ’em,” said Ms. Malloy in annoyance, grabbing a clipboard. “You know where to go.” Fire drill procedure was pretty standard.

Lissa followed the others and fell in step with Christian. “Did you set this up?” she teased.