The idea that he might be sticking around for more than frequent hot sex and to make sure she wasn’t pregnant was alien to her, and something she couldn’t quite stretch her mind around.
She was still mulling over what Grace and Ronnie had said later that night, on the ride back to Charlotte ’s.
Could they be right?
She cast a sideways glance at Gage, who was behind the wheel of her yellow bug. He hated the car, but seemingly hated being a passenger in the tiny Volkswagen even more. Apparently it was more masculine to drive a pint-size Beetle than be seen riding around in one.
Never mind that his legs were bent at an awkward angle, even with the seat pushed all the way back, or that the top of his head brushed the roof of the vehicle.
Jenna turned away, looking out the side window before she started laughing at his obvious discomfort and annoyance at being uncomfortable.
“Did Grace vandalize Zack’s Hummer?” he asked out of the blue.
Then again, maybe it wasn’t the size of her car that had his jaw locked and his knuckles turning white on the steering wheel.
Jenna licked her lips, debating how to answer. On the one hand, she had never lied to him, and just because they were no longer married and she didn’t technically owe him any allegiance, she didn’t want to start now. On the other, she felt a fierce need to be loyal to Grace and maintain her friend’s confidence.
She cocked her head to study Gage’s profile, and for the first time since they’d left the bar, he slowly turned his head to meet her gaze.
“I wasn’t there, and I don’t know the details, but yes,” she murmured barely above a whisper. It hurt to hear herself admit it, to betray a friend’s confidence. But almost as though she were possessed by a powerful, supernatural spirit, she felt compelled to tell Gage the truth, regardless of the consequences.
His eyes stayed locked with hers for a heartbeat longer before he gave a sharp, brief nod and returned his attention to the road.
The silence that followed made Jenna’s skin hurt. She felt dizzy from lack of oxygen and her vision blurred with near-panic.
“Are you going to arrest her?” she asked desperately, chest heaving in the beginning stages of hyperventilation. “Or tell Zack so he can have her arrested?”
It seemed like an eternity until he answered, but finally he said, “Nah. Zack has more money than God. He can buy a dozen Hummers to replace that one, if he wants. And if he really did cheat on Grace, then I don’t feel particularly sorry for him.”
Jenna let her head fall against the cool glass of the passenger-side window, sucking air into her abused lungs.
After another couple of miles passed in silence and her brain was able to process the tail end of his reply, she turned back. “Did he cheat on her?”
Once again, he was slow to respond. Rolling his shoulders beneath his tight black T-shirt, he said, “He says no. Swears that woman wasn’t in his room when he went for a shower, and he doesn’t know how she got in. He didn’t even know she was there until Grace showed up and discovered her.”
“Do you believe him?”
“There’s no reason not to. He’s never lied to me before, as far as I know, and he wouldn’t need to lie to me about this. I’m not his mother or his wife or his priest. It’s not my place to judge him. What he does in his private life is his business, whether I approve of it or not. He also knows that no matter what he tells me, I wouldn’t repeat it to anyone else.”
Which only made Jenna feel like more of a heel for having repeated something about her best friend that was meant to be kept in confidence. She nearly groaned as remorse pooled in her gut and threatened to swamp her.
“He’s really torn up over it,” Gage continued as they pulled into the gravel drive beside Charlotte ’s big, white farm house. He cut the engine, but made no move to get out of the car. Instead, he shifted to face her, lifting an arm to rest on the back of the seats. His hand dangled near her face and his fingers toyed with the ends of her hair.
“He’s called Grace a thousand times, at least, but she won’t answer-not even when he tries to fool the caller ID by using different phones. The doorman at her building won’t let him in, and the guards at the television studio have strict orders to call the police if he sets foot on the property. That’s why I thought it was a good idea for him to go over to The Yarn Barn tonight. I was hoping Grace would give him a chance to explain, at least listen to his side before she cut him off at the knees.”
“In case you hadn’t noticed,” Jenna murmured, “Grace isn’t exactly the magnanimous type. Not when she’s hurting and feels so strongly that she’s been wronged.”
He huffed out a breath. “Tell me about it.”
Rather than lowering the level of tension in the tiny vehicle, the revelation that Zack may not have cheated on Grace after all only seemed to ratchet it up several notches. Jenna’s chest felt tight and she could feel tightly constrained emotion radiating from Gage in an ever-growing ripple effect.
Rubbing her palms nervously along the outside of her thighs, she licked her lips and softly asked, “Are you angry with me?”
One, two, three seconds passed without a response. Then, just as quietly, he said, “Why would I be angry?”
For a moment, she thought about keeping her mouth shut. If he wasn’t upset, maybe she shouldn’t have drawn attention to the fact that he seemed to be. And if he was-well, it probably would have been smarter to pretend she hadn’t noticed.
But the stiff jut of his chin told her something was wrong, and she would just as soon get to the bottom of it before they went in the house. Their relationship was stressful enough these days, there was no use tossing added kindling to the pile.
“Because of what happened at The Yarn Barn with Zack and Grace. Because I knew what she’d done, but didn’t tell you.”
“Why would I be mad about that?” he asked carefully.
“Well, it was a lie of omission,” she admitted, “and I know how you feel about that sort of thing.”
He mulled that over for a second before the flat line of his mouth relaxed a fraction.
“I understand why you did it. I don’t even blame you; you were just protecting a friend. If Zack had admitted to an affair, I probably wouldn’t have told you, either. But it did make me wonder…” His words trailed off for a moment and he shrugged. “Things between us were so ugly there at the end, the thought crossed my mind that this might not have been the first time you lied to me-by omission or otherwise.”
Jenna’s heart pounded against her ribcage like a jungle drum and a lump formed in her throat. She knew how he felt about liars. On his top ten list of sins that would send you to Hell, directly to Hell, do not pass Go and do not collect two hundred dollars, it was right up there with child sex offenders and people who talked in the theatre.
Swallowing hard in an effort to dislodge the knot in her chest, she thought back to everything that had passed between them over the years. Had she ever lied to him, be it a little white lie or a big, honking black one?
After a brief silence, she nodded and looked him directly in the eye as she murmured, “I have lied to you.”
His already tense body tautened even more at her admission, every muscle going tight and a tic starting at the back of his jaw. When he spoke, his voice was thick with emotion. “Do I want to know?”
“I’m not sure. It’s a pretty big one.”
Gage’s eyes slid closed, almost as though what she was about to say might be too much for him to handle. When his eyes opened again to settle on her, his mouth twisted into a grim line and he said, “All right, I’m ready. Tell me.”
The confession wasn’t easy to get out, and it took her a minute. A minute to form the words. A minute to decide if this was truly a wound she wanted to open, a part of her heart she wanted to bare and leave vulnerable.