“Need any help?” she asked.

He shook his head slightly. “All done.”

“Sorry it had to work out this way. I know you cared about her.”

“Did I?” Mike walked slowly toward the car. “I think I just enjoyed working with someone who was so…” He thought for a moment. “So easy. In a good way, I mean.”

“Yeah.”

“And she liked poetry.”

“Well, there’s no accounting for taste.” Baxter smiled, but it didn’t take. “And she did all this… because she could?”

“Basically.”

“Strange.”

Mike nodded slowly. “Aren’t we all.”

They both slid into the car, Mike driving. Baxter waited until they were out on the highway and halfway back to the airport before she spoke.

“Mike… I think we should talk about it.”

His chest deflated. “About what?”

“You know perfectly well. The kiss.”

“I already apologized. I was buoyant.”

“It wasn’t the first time.”

“Well, it was the last.”

“I think we have to be realistic. These are our careers we’re talking about. We don’t want to do something stupid and screw them up. I just don’t think this is going to work.”

“It’s going to work,” Mike said flatly.

“What?”

“I said, ‘It’s going to work.’ ”

“And how can you be so certain?”

He slowed to take the exit then, when it was safe, turned to face her. “It’s going to work because I want it to work.”

52

If immersion in a trial was like being submerged in a tank of water, then the end of a trial was like having your sub surface, like being released from prison, like being permitted to reenter the real world after a long absence. The firm of Kincaid & McCall celebrated the successful conclusion of this trial with a company picnic at Williams Park, named for the renowned Tulsa auctioneer, Tommy Williams. Jones reserved a pavilion, and it was a beautiful, warm but not too humid, mildly cloudy, all-in-all glorious day.

Jones and Paula were tossing a Frisbee out on the grassy stretch between the basketball court and the creek, Loving was climbing on the new playground equipment, and Christina was trying to teach Ben the fine art of barbecue.

Ben stared at the pink clump of raw hamburger meat. “So… you have to touch that?”

“Unless you’ve mastered the power of telekinesis, yes.”

He extended one finger. “Kind of… slimy, isn’t it?”

Christina’s patience was wearing thin. “Come on, champ. Learn something here. You can’t go on eating Cap’n Crunch all your life. Get your hands into it. Smoosh it into patties.”

A pained expression crossed his face. “And then you put it on that hot grill?”

“That’s the traditional method, yes,” she said, drumming her fingers.

“When do you take it off?”

“When it’s done.”

“And how do you know when it’s done?”

She made a tsking sound with her teeth as he pressed the meat into patties. “Didn’t your parents ever have cookouts when you were growing up?”

“Sure.”

“Who cooked the burgers?”

“Actually, we had people…”

Fifteen minutes later, Christina returned from the Frisbee field and peered at the smoking grill. “Burned?”

Ben tilted his head. “Well, it was my first time. And I was kind of worried about the E. coli thing.”

Christina rolled her eyes. “Better stick with the cold cereal, Ben. I don’t think cooking is your line.”

“I’m not giving up that easily,” Ben said, diving into the picnic basket. “I’ll cook the hot dogs.”

Christina snatched the package away from him. “I’ll cook the hot dogs. You have a visitor.”

“I-what?” On the other side of the pavilion, he spotted Ellen Christensen. “What is she doing in Tulsa? At our picnic?”

“I invited her.”

He stared at Christina blankly. “You did what?”

“You two need to talk.”

“I do not have the slightest need or-”

“You do. Don’t leave things dangling, Ben. This may be your last chance.” She pulled him to his feet. “Just-go.” She gave him a little shove forward.

His face was a picture of unhappiness. “For the record, I’m only doing this for you.”

“That works.”

He crossed the pavilion till he reached the spot where Ellen waited. He stood at least two feet away from her. She was dressed casually, shorts and a polo shirt, but she looked strong and much healthier than she had since this entire case had begun.

“I’m sorry to bother you,” she said. She was obviously nervous. She fidgeted with the belt loops on her shorts. “I wanted to thank you. For what you did for Johnny. He’s home now, for a little while. Till they file the assault charges, anyway. I can’t tell you how wonderful it feels, having him back with me again.” She looked up at Ben, eyes wide. “My boys are all I’ve got now.”

Ben nodded.

“It was so wonderful, what you did for Johnny.”

Ben craned his neck uncomfortably. “Christina did the hard work.”

“But Christina didn’t have to work through… what you had to work through. What you did…” She shook her head. “Was special. And I will always treasure it.”

“You’re making a big deal out of nothing. I didn’t even want to take the case.”

“That’s my whole point. You didn’t want to take the case, but you did. You didn’t want to work on the case, but you did. You didn’t want to help me, but you did.” She closed her eyes, and a tiny smile illuminated her face. “I think maybe you haven’t changed so much after all.”

“Believe me, I have.”

She looked at him, and when she did, it was with eyes that seemed to travel back farther than the events of the last few months. “You never like to let anything show. Withdrawn, cranky-that’s what you want the world to see. But I know better.”

Ben coughed, suddenly uncomfortable. “If you’ll excuse me, I need to get back.”

“To Christina?”

He stopped. “And Jones and everyone else.”

“I like Christina a lot. She’s wonderful.”

“Well… yes.”

“She thinks you’re afraid to make a commitment. And I very much fear… that may be my fault.”

“Don’t be stupid. That was years ago.”

“Yes, but… sometimes it’s the old wounds that hurt the most.”

Ben shifted awkwardly from one foot to the other.

“You know, Ben-what I did. All those years ago. It was a horrible mistake.”

It was?

“You were so sweet and kind and I loved you so dearly. But when I knew the baby was coming, I just freaked. I lost faith. I thought I had to play it safe. Couldn’t take a chance on a punk college kid. But look at you now!” She smiled. “I didn’t know you as well as I thought I did.”

“Who really knows anybody?” Ben wondered. “When all is said and done, we’re all strangers.”

“But there is one thing I do know-something I want you to know,” Ellen continued. “Letting you go was the hardest thing I ever had to do. Ever. And my biggest mistake.”

“No,” he said quietly. “You did the right thing.”

“I-but-”

“And I knew it. Even then. I just couldn’t… wouldn’t accept it.”

Ellen’s eyes widened. “In time, Larry and I made a life for ourselves. It was different with him. He didn’t miss the girl I had been before the disease set in. He fell in love with the woman I became. And David is a wonderful boy. He reminds me of you in-” Her voice choked. “Truth is I never stopped missing you, Ben. You were the one who got away.” She stood there another moment, then clasped her hands together. “Well… goodbye.”

“Wait.” He reached out, and a second later, he was hugging her, her cheek to his, tight in his embrace. He couldn’t know how long it lasted; it was ridiculously too long and impossibly too brief.

And then she was gone.

She was so beautiful this morning-and every morning-Ben literally couldn’t take his eyes off her. He had never felt anything like this in his entire twenty-three years of life. The warmth that gurgled up out of his chest every time he looked at her. The happiness he felt in the morning when he woke, just knowing she was somewhere near. The ache he felt whenever they were apart.