I dropped her arm and turned around excitedly.

Then I tensed my whole body, praying both that Charlotte would act and that she would do exactly what I’d told her.

An instant later, I let out a howl as she plunged the knife I’d left on the gurney deep into my right buttock.

I stumbled forward, purposely knocking over the cart of weapons. The pain was too great for me to think clearly, but I did manage a bit of relief that she’d followed instructions. She could’ve stabbed me in the back.

I launched into a screaming fit of obscenities. Daniel and the rest were laughing so hard they could barely contain themselves. Perfect. I gave them all the finger and continued cursing.

I wrenched the knife out and threw it to the ground. “Lousy bitch.”

“Thumbs-up! Thumbs-up!” Foster declared.

“Yeah, yeah. Ha ha ha. Real hilarious.”

“I think you and the toilet seat are going to have a very bad relationship for a while,” said Daniel, laughing so hard that tears were streaming down his cheeks. “Oh, man, I’m sorry, but that’s one of the funniest things I’ve seen in my whole entire life!”

“Yeah, well, do you think I could get some medical attention?”

“Don’t you wanna finish her off?”

“Not standing here with my ass bleeding, no!”

Daniel tried to respond, but then he broke into another fit of hysterical laughter. It took several moments for him to control himself enough to gesture to Foster. “Go ahead, get him out of there. Oh, shit, I need a drink! I think we all do! I’d give anything to have been taping that!”

The others got up, still laughing. I was in a lot of pain, but this wasn’t over yet. Because Foster was going to have to open that door, and I had a hell of a lot of weapons waiting for him.

Unfortunately, I couldn’t conceal any of them. Josie remained in the spectator booth, watching me intently as she wiped tears of laughter from her eyes. I picked up a machete, pretending like I was having trouble keeping myself from using it on Charlotte.

A couple of minutes later, Foster opened the door. He had a small plastic bag in one hand, and a gun in the other. Pointed at me, of course.

“If I got stabbed in the ass by a tied-down naked woman, I’d want somebody to put me out of my misery,” he said. “Would you like me to help out?”

“Just get me a first-aid kit and shut up.” I pointed to Charlotte. “And take her back to wherever you got her from. After I get patched up she’s going to get a lot worse than a knife in the butt, believe me.”

“Whatever you say.” He wasn’t lowering the gun.

“Could you maybe put that down?” I asked. “I’m in enough pain without having you point that thing at me.”

“I could, but you know what, I don’t feel like it. I kind of like holding you at gunpoint. Makes me feel nice and powerful inside.”

“Whatever makes you happy.”

“It does, thanks. And it would also make me happy if you put back that machete. It’s private property.”

I set the machete back on the cart.

“Much appreciated. You know, I’m the one who has to clean up the mess you made in here. I should shoot you just for that.”

“I’m sure Daniel would have something to say about that.”

“You’re absolutely right. He pays me well, and he lets me kill people. Wouldn’t want to lose that gig. That’s the only reason you’re still alive, though I don’t think that will last very long.”

“And what exactly does that mean?” I asked.

“It’s a surprise. I think you mentioned that you like surprises. Come on, let’s go. Your ass is leaking all over the floor.”

He stepped back as I walked out of the room, not letting me get close. He kept the gun pointed at me as I walked down a short hallway.

“In there,” he said. I entered a small room containing nothing but a wooden bench and an overhead light. He tossed me the plastic bag. “There’s gauze and tape in there. Enjoy.”

He slammed the door shut.

So, was my situation better or worse? Obviously I’d lost some of their respect, but had I erased any of their doubts about me?

At least Charlotte was still alive.

And I had a plan.

When they brought out the next victim, I’d be sitting up there with the other spectators, and this time there wouldn’t be a giant plastic cube separating us. I’d arrange to sit next to Josie. When the others were distracted by the show below, I’d put the knife to her neck, before any of them got a chance to pull those damn guns on me. Daniel wouldn’t risk his wife for the sake of some prisoners. At least I didn’t think so.

If I couldn’t sit next to Josie, I’d go for Daniel.

If I had to, I’d use one of the others. I wasn’t sure Daniel would surrender to save somebody like Stan, but I had to try. Regardless, no matter what, I was going to act.

I taped myself up, padding my pants with the gauze. It was too painful to sit, so I paced around the room, waiting for them to come get me.

Half an hour passed. They were probably still having convulsions of laughter. Bastards.

Another full hour passed before the door opened. Foster again, still holding his gun. “Let’s go,” he said. “We’re about to have an emergency meeting.”

I WAS TAKEN back inside the mansion, to a large, nicely furnished den. Daniel shut off the wide-screen TV with the remote control as Foster and I entered. He was sitting next to Josie on a loveseat, while Mortimer reclined in an easy chair, sipping a bottle of beer. Stan sat on the floor, leaning his back against a small couch as he chewed on a pencil.

“Welcome back, Andrew,” said Daniel. “How’s the ass doing?”

“It’s fine,” I said. I glanced around the room approvingly. “Very nice.”

“Thanks. Why don’t you have a seat? We’ve got something to discuss.”

“I’d rather stand, for obvious reasons.”

“Yeah, I know, but I’d rather you sit.”

Foster pushed a metal folding chair behind me. I sat down with a wince.

“Care for a beer?” Daniel asked.

“Nah, that’s all right.”

“Pop?”

“Excuse me?”

“Sorry, I guess that’s soda to you southern folk.”

“I knew what you meant. No, no soda, thanks.”

“Bottled water? Anything?”

“I’m fine.”

“You sure? Okay.” Daniel leaned forward. “All right, Andrew, I’m going to be straight with you. I don’t think this is working out. You’re not enjoying yourself, and you’re not fitting in.”

I didn’t say anything.

“I thought I was going to be giving you the vacation of a lifetime. I’ve put so much hard work and energy into this place, and I can’t share it! It’s frustrating. And so I leapt at the chance to bring in a new person, but I didn’t think it through, and I’ve treated you horribly, and for that I apologize.”

“I’m sorry, too,” I said.

“We’ve all discussed this, and we feel it’s best if we take you home. I’ll let you decide what you want to do with Roger. I’d prefer that you leave him here for us, but that’s up to you. Do you think we can end this without hard feelings?”

“Absolutely.”

“Would you mind filling out one of our customer satisfaction surveys before you leave?” Daniel asked. “No, I’m kidding, but I do have one question. Did you honestly think we weren’t going to find out that you’ve been lying to us all this time?”