He checked his watch. “Pardon me, I need to get back to work. Please continue,” he said, gesturing to Craig as he re-entered the bathroom, again closing the door behind him.

“So he tracked Ned-that’s the Headhunter, Ned Markstein-for a couple weeks. He snuck into his apartment, went through his things, all that stuff. He found more letters, nothing that identified the kidnapper, but there was enough evidence in them to prove that the person writing them had Charlotte. Last week, he hacked into the Headhunter’s personal computer and found this letter in progress. It’s here somewhere…”

Craig opened a briefcase, flipped through a couple of files, and then took out a manila folder and handed me the printout of the letter inside.

“ Buddy,

Time’s getting close, isn’t it? It’s been too long since I’ve had a nice vacation. I’ll definitely bring my share of the party favors, but I’ll take it one step further. I’ll bring you Andrew Mayhem and Roger Tanglen. And then we can ”

“Can what?” I asked.

“I’m not sure. We never saw the finished letter.”

“So how do two people like this meet? What, did he take out a personal ad? Single White Psychopath Seeks Same?”

“I think it started on the Internet, actually.”

“It’s always the Internet, isn’t it?” I said, annoyed. “So why the hell didn’t you go to the cops? My wife and I almost got killed!”

“Thomas told me not to. He said we couldn’t let the Headhunter know that we were on to him, or he wouldn’t lead us to Charlotte ’s kidnapper. So we followed him down to Chamber.”

“And let him kill all the party guests.”

Craig bit his lip. “He wasn’t easy to keep track of. We weren’t expecting him to do anything like that. I think he was just trying to show off before he brought you to the kidnapper, make himself look better.”

“You didn’t even think to warn us?” I was furious. “My wife almost got her head chopped off, too!” A horrible thought occurred to me. “How do I know he didn’t get Roger?”

“Oh, no, no, Roger’s fine. Really, he wasn’t going to kill you, just your wife. He needed you.”

“This certainly makes me feel special,” Helen muttered.

Craig stared to reply, but seemed to sense that he was losing control of the conversation. He knocked on the bathroom door.

“I’m just a bit busy,” said Thomas from inside, annoyed.

“I need you to explain the plan.”

“You know the plan.”

“But I need you to explain it to them.”

There was a moment of silence, and then the toilet flushed. Thomas emerged, wiping his hands on a towel. We all stared at him.

“What?” he asked.

We continued staring at him.

“Oh, grow up. So what’s the problem?”

“Just tell them what we need,” Craig said.

Thomas tossed the towel aside. “Andrew, we need you and your friend Roger to serve as bait.”

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” I said. “First of all, if I understand Craig’s story right, Helen and I acted as bait this evening, and we almost died.”

“Not you, just Helen.”

“You know, this is starting to piss me off,” Helen said.

“I apologize, ma’am; that was unprofessional. Here’s the situation. Three days from now, our friend in the bathroom is supposed to meet the man who kidnapped Mrs. Burgin in New York City. Queens, to be specific, and he’s supposed to have you-” he pointed at me “-and your friend with him. Naturally, he won’t be showing up. I will. The kidnapper doesn’t know what the Headhunter looks like, so I’ll be playing his part. You and Roger will be safe in the car, pretending to be prisoners. Once I’m satisfied that he’s the right individual, he’ll find a gun in his face, and then he’ll go through the same line of questioning the Headhunter did. He’ll tell us where Charlotte and the others are, don’t worry.”

“Others?” Helen asked.

“Oh yes. Apparently there are several others. At least ten, though we don’t know how many for certain. Most likely they all have families who are going through the same mental anguish that Mr. Burgin here is suffering. You can see what it’s done to his ability to outline a simple plan.”

“If you know all this is happening, why don’t you go to the police?” I asked. “Why do this by yourself instead of letting the NYPD handle it?”

“It’s bad enough that your wife has to know about it,” said Thomas. “Listen to me, Andrew. I don’t know who the kidnapper is, but I do know that he thinks this is all a big game, a way to have a few laughs. He doesn’t care if Charlotte or the others live or die. But I can make him care. Believe me, the NYPD might not be able to get him to reveal where the prisoners are, but I definitely will.”

I didn’t doubt that.

“Why does he want me?”

“Why wouldn’t he? From what I understand, you were responsible for quite a few deranged individuals getting what they deserved. Maybe this deranged individual had a friend among them, or maybe he just wants to strike a blow for his fellow deranged individuals, I’m not certain. But I promise you, you won’t be in any danger.”

“Like behind the planetarium?”

“That was a less controlled situation,” Thomas explained. “We were the ones in pursuit. This time the culprit is coming to us.”

“Please,” said Craig. “You’ve got to help us. I’ll pay you anything.”

“Naturally, my client doesn’t have the financial resources available to pay you anything,” said Thomas. “But you will certainly be generously compensated, and you’ll get a free New York City vacation out of it, though naturally you won’t be permitted to leave the hotel until after the meeting. But this isn’t about money or vacations; it’s about bringing these poor people back to their families. And all you have to do is sit in the car.”

“Is it safe to sit in a car in Queens?” I asked.

“Not really,” Thomas admitted.

I knew perfectly well that, left on my own, I’d end up accepting his offer. I’m not all that heroic, and I don’t devote my life to the betterment of mankind, and I’ll occasionally pretend that I don’t have any change when the Salvation Army Santa Clauses are standing outside of shopping malls ringing the hell out of their red bells, but to refuse to help people who’d been kidnapped by an obvious sicko just wasn’t going to cut it. I mean, it’s not like I had to worry about missing work.

However, I made sure to get the opinion of the person who kept the Mayhem household supply of common sense. “What do you think, Helen?”

“I think you’re going to do it no matter what I say.” She turned to Thomas. “If you put my husband in danger, the guy in the bathroom won’t be the only one looking to chop off your head.”

“Understood.”

“Thank you so much,” said Craig. His tone of voice made me concerned that he might drop to the floor and start slobbering all over my shoes in gratitude, but fortunately he didn’t.

“So what’s the next step?” I asked.

I NOTICED that Roger had a new scratch as he opened the door. He frowned as he saw Craig and Thomas standing behind me.

“What have you gotten me into?” he asked.

“So, Rog,” I said, giving him a reassuring smile, “got any plans this week?”