I nodded. “Yeah,” I said. There was a beat of silence.

“I’m finished,” my mom said finally. “For now.”

I turned to go upstairs but stopped suddenly. “Mom?”

“Yes?” She sounded tired.

“I really am sorry,” I said. The words hung there a moment, but she didn’t reply. I trudged toward the stairs. Every muscle in my body—every fiber—ached. My head was pounding, and my heart was heavy. I pictured Hunter in my mind, tried to visualize the look he had given me just before I left. Only this time, instead of making me feel better, it made me feel worse. I wanted to call him. I needed to hear his voice. But now it was impossible—I was grounded.

I lay on my bed, and the pain in my head dulled a little. I wondered about the limits of my magick now that I was reined. Erin had said that I would still be able to do some small spells. Could I send him a witch message? I wondered. I decided to give it a try. Hunter, I thought, Hunter. I need you.

I felt echoing emptiness inside me and knew it wasn’t working. But I tried again, anyway. And again. And again. Even though there was no reply, I didn’t give up. I couldn’t.

I didn’t know what else to do.

9. Fear

I passed Bree in the hall today. I said hello, but she didn’t hear me.

At least, I think she didn’t hear me. She looked kind of preoccupied, but maybe that was just an act so that she could pretend not to notice me. I’m sure Morgan told her about my quitting Kithic.

I haven’t missed a circle yet, but already there are so many things I miss about the coven. I miss the energy I felt from being part of the circle. I miss the feeling when a circle goes well and you feel like there’s a greater power in the room with you. Like everyone’s energy has combined and formed this force that’s more powerful than the sum of its parts. I miss feeling like I have a family.

Well, whatever—who cares? I’m not in the coven anymore. What they do is their own problem. I’m not going to try to warn anyone about anything—I’m staying out of it. From now on, this is just a journal, not a Book of Shadows. And I’m just a high school sophomore, not a witch in training.

I would have made a terrible witch, anyway. I don’t have the stomach for it.

— Alisa

“Morgan, what is that?” Jenna asked, peering at the bowl of steaming hot something I’d gotten from the cafeteria. It was lunch period the next day, and I was sitting with Sharon, Raven, Jenna, Matt, Bree, Robbie, and Ethan. Lately I’d been spending almost all of my lunch periods in the library in a desperate attempt to pull my grades up, but today I simply felt too sick to concentrate on anything. I looked around at the familiar faces. If my grades didn’t improve, I might be eating lunch at an entirely different school soon.

“Chili,” I said. “I think.”

“Isn’t that the same stuff they served Monday?” Matt asked.

I gave him a wry half smile, but Bree let out a silky laugh. Matt grinned at her. Jenna glanced up and gave me a wary look across the table. What was Bree up to?

“You have to give the school credit on their food-recycling program,” Raven said. “No one can bear to eat it, but no one can bear to let it go to waste.”

Robbie was sitting next to me on one side of the table with Jenna. Sharon and Ethan were on the other, and Matt was at one of the short ends, sandwiched between Bree and Raven. He looked like he was in heaven. Bree and Robbie, on the other hand, hadn’t exchanged a single word during lunch, and now Robbie was staring down at his sandwich as if he thought he could make it disintegrate with the power of his mind.

“So is everybody going to make it this Saturday?” Sharon asked. Kithic was holding its circle at her house.

“I can’t go,” I said, feeling even gloomier. “I’m grounded.”

“Grounded? What did you do?” Ethan asked, pushing curly hair out of his eyes. “Anything good?”

“Unfortunately not.”

“Morgan isn’t much good at being bad.” Bree gave Matt a flirtatious little smile. “Unlike some people.”

“Hmmm,” Raven said smoothly. “Tell us about that, Bree.”

Bree ignored her, still looking at Matt, who was grinning like an idiot. I narrowed my eyes at Bree. What did she think she was doing?

Robbie stood up. “I’ve gotta head to the library,” he said to nobody in particular. “See you guys later.” He grabbed his tray and walked off.

I caught Bree’s eye and frowned at her. She made a face at me. “I’ll be right back,” I said, pushing my chair away from the table.

Robbie was halfway down the hall by the time I caught up with him. “Robbie, wait,” I said, catching his arm. “What’s going on?”

“I don’t know.” His eyes were filled with anger. “I guess I just didn’t feel like sitting around and watching Bree hit on someone else. Call me crazy.”

I folded my arms across my chest and cocked an eyebrow. “I thought you guys were broken up.”

Robbie looked shocked. I knew it, I thought.

“That’s what Bree told me, anyway,” I went on. “She said you dumped her.”

Robbie’s eyes were wide. “What are you talking about?” he demanded.

I shrugged. “Isn’t that what happened?”

“No,” he insisted. “No way!” He looked confused and worried. “I just told Bree that I thought we needed some space. We’ve been spending all our time together lately, and. . well. . I’ve gotten these weird vibes from Bree. Like she’s feeling kind of. .”

“Possessive?” I finished for him.

“Yeah.” He nodded. “So I tried to talk to her about it. I mean, look, personally I’d love to spend all my time with Bree. But it seemed sort of weird for her. Don’t forget that I’ve known Bree a long time.”

“As long as I have.”

“Exactly,” Robbie agreed. “And we both know she gets bored easily with guys, and then she moves on. Right?”

“Mmm.” Dead right.

“So I thought I’d be clever and suggest more space,” Robbie explained, “and she’s been avoiding me ever since. I thought she was just taking me up on my offer.” He bit his lip. “God, Morgan, have I totally screwed up?”

“I don’t think it’s your fault, but the situation is definitely screwed up,” I said. “You have to talk to her. Now.”

“What should I say?”

“Just tell her that this is all a big misunderstanding, which it is,” I said. “Look, Robbie, you and I both know that underneath it all, Bree is actually insecure in a weird way, right?”

“About some things,” he admitted.

“About this thing,” I said. “This has just gotten blown out of proportion because she actually cares about you. A lot. And she doesn’t know how to deal.”

Robbie looked dubious. “You think?”

“I know it,” I told him. I didn’t think it was betraying a confidence to say that much. “So you’ll talk to her?” I asked.

“Yeah,” he said. He started to turn back toward the lunch-room, but the bell rang. “Damn,” he said, checking his watch.

“Do it after school,” I said as people began trickling into the hall. “Don’t wait.”

“Thanks, Morgan.” Robbie reached out and drew me into a hug. I felt glad that I’d finally butted in. My head was still throbbing, but it was good to know that I’d done at least one thing right.

I was halfway through my first problem set when the doorbell rang. “Mary K., can you get that?” I shouted. My head was still splitting, even after I’d taken four Advil. Mary K. didn’t reply. Not surprising. She was playing the radio at top volume in her room. I had expected her to be at cheerleading practice, but it had been canceled at the last minute. Now she was upstairs “studying” with her new best friend, Alisa. They were in the same French class.

With a sigh, I hauled myself up from the dining room table and trudged to the door, figuring it was probably someone from Greenpeace or another member of the Mary K. fan club. The latter was more likely.