41

The far-too-bright beige waiting room, the magazines laid out in perfect rows, the overhead fluorescent lights, the incessant Muzak, the hall of fame of perfect smiles, the perky young woman behind the desk, with her daunting cheerfulness, her gleaming teeth. Just being there gave me the skives, and I wasn’t even scheduled to be in the chair that day.

“Hello, Mr. Carl,” said Deirdre, the receptionist. “It’s so good to see you this afternoon, but I wasn’t aware you had an appointment.”

“I came to check on Daniel Rose. I’m a friend of the family.”

“Daniel is in with the doctor right now.”

“No screams of agony yet?”

“We never hear anything out here,” she said without a hint of irony. “The door is soundproof.”

“Why do I find that weirdly upsetting?”

“I don’t know, Mr. Carl. Daniel’s mother is sitting over there if you want to speak to her.”

“Thank you,” I said

Julia Rose, dressed in jeans and a T-shirt, was sitting motionless in the corner, legs crossed, arms crossed, head tilted as if deep in thought. It showed just how little I understood about her that I had no idea what she might be thinking, or whether she was thinking anything at all. Heretofore I had seen her as someone whom we needed to get to do this for her son or that for her son, an obstacle to the proper care and feeding of my young client. I had thought of her as the problem without much considering that she might have problems of her own.

I sat down beside her. “How are you doing, Julia?”

Without looking up at me, she said, “I’m trying not to cry.”

“He’s a brave kid. He’ll come through it fine.”

“I know. I’m not worried about him in there.”

“Then what is it?”

She turned her pretty face to me, the skin beneath her eyes dark with worry. “Do you care? Really?”

Before I blurted out the yes, I thought about it for a moment. Did I care about her, or did I just want her to get on with it, to do the right thing so that Daniel could wind up with half a chance in this world and I could get back to the petty concerns of my own petty life? She wasn’t my client, my responsibility, so did I care? Really?

“Yes,” I said finally, surprising myself. “Strangely enough, I do.”

“I know I’m not the best mother in the world. I try, I do, Mr. Carl, but I’ve never had enough to do all I wanted to do for my boy. And I’ve never known enough neither. But I love him. I do.”

“That might be true, Julia. But sometimes love alone isn’t enough.”

“I know that, but I’m trying. Except sometimes there are things too big to handle. They’re just there and they grow worse and there’s nothing you can do. My life has been like that since I was in grade school. I just knew it wasn’t right, but there was nothing I could do about it except go along and take it. And everything happened for the worst, just like I was sure it all would.”

“It’s okay, Julia,” I said, putting an arm around her shoulder. She was crying now, crying softly, I could feel her sobs in my arm and chest, and I sensed it wouldn’t be okay. But what the hell was I supposed to do about that? “We’ll get through all of this.”

“No, it’s not like that, Mr. Carl.” She pushed herself away from me, wiped her nose with the front and back of her hand. “Daniel’s teeth. I knew they was a problem. First they was perfect and white, and then they started turning black. But what was I going to do about it? When was there anything bad I could do something about? So I didn’t want to tell anyone or show anyone. But every time I looked at his teeth, it broke me up. And embarrassed me, too. Which was why I wouldn’t take Daniel to the doctor. I knew the looks I’d get, the lectures. I been lectured all my life about everything I ever done wrong. But never about the wrong that was done to me. And them teeth turning black, it wasn’t my fault, it was just the way his teeth was. Like the way the world is. And because of that, I figured there was nothing I could do about it. But now…”

“They’re going to be fine. Dr. Pfeffer is going to fix them.”

“I know,” she said. “I know. It’s like this hole in my heart has been filled. Thank you so much, Mr. Carl. Thank you for caring about Daniel. Thank you for finding Dr. Pfeffer. He must be like a saint.”

“Just like,” I said.

“I am so relieved. He’s going to be fine, my little Daniel. Perfect again. Something worked out after all. That’s why I’m crying. That’s why.”

“Okay.”

“It gives me hope, you know?”

“That’s nice to hear. I’m really glad. But, Julia. There is something I have to ask you.”

“Anything, Mr. Carl.”

“I want to show you something.”

I took out a piece of paper, a signed document with an official stamp at the end and handed it to her. She looked at it, turned it over to see if there was anything on the flip side, turned it back, started to read it.

“What’s this?”

“It’s an order, Julia, from the judge. It appoints me to be the lawyer not just for Daniel but also for Daniel’s sister, Tanya.”

A stillness descended after I said the name, as if a barrier had been broken and there was nothing but silence on the other side. I didn’t know what would happen then, whether I’d lose her right there, lose her for good. I didn’t know if she’d refuse to say a word and then take Daniel, with his newly fixed teeth, and disappear. I didn’t know, and Tanya’s fate seemed to tremble in the balance.

“Tanya is Daniel’s half sister,” Julia said after a long pause.

It was a start. And I don’t think she would have answered me the day before. She would have run. But she said that Daniel’s getting his teeth fixed had given her hope, and maybe that slight glimmer of hope was what prompted her to answer. Because maybe, along with the hope born out of the new possibilities for Daniel’s teeth, she suddenly found some hope for the missing girl, too.

“How old is she?” I said.

“She’ll be seven next month.”

“I need to see her, to meet with her. She’s my client now. So, Julia, I need to know. Where is Tanya?”

“I don’t know.”

“How do you not know?”

“Now you’re going to lecture me.”

“No lectures, okay. I promise.”

“I’ve tried to be a good mother. I tried so hard. I just did what I thought was best for both my children.”

“Julia, try to answer my question. What happened to Tanya?”

“I gave her away.”

“To whom?”

“A lady in my old neighborhood. A fortune-teller name of Anna.”

“Why did you give Tanya to her?”

“She said she could take care of her. She said she knew a place for her.”

“No, Julia. Why did you give Tanya away?”

“Because Randy told me to. He didn’t really like her much, and he said it would be better for all of us, Daniel especially, if she was with some other family.”

“I don’t understand.”

“He didn’t like having a little black girl following us around. She had a different father than Daniel, and he didn’t like having to explain to his friends why she was with us. He’s trying to move us to a better part of the city, but he said she wouldn’t like it over there.”

“Is that what he said?”

“What’s wrong?”

“You need to tell me where this Anna lives.”

“I don’t know exactly.”

“Tell me what you know,” I said.

After she gave me a vague description of where Anna might be, she said, “What are you going to do, Mr. Carl?”

“I’m going to find her. I’m going to make sure she’s okay.”

“And maybe you’ll help her like you’re helping Daniel?”

“Sure.”

“Randy said it would be better for both of them. Randy said it was the right thing to do.”

“Okay, Julia. Thank you for your help.”

“Stop looking at me like that, Mr. Carl. I’m doing the best I can.”

“I know you are.”

Just then the soundproof door opened and Daniel came out, his eyes red, his fists balled, followed by a smiling Dr. Bob in his green scrubs, his mask down around his neck. Daniel looked around, panicky for a moment, then saw us and ran over to his mother, jumping on her lap, burying his face in her neck.