Evil happened and, too often, expediency did trump justice. The law demanded evidence and due process, but provided little to make things right.

Husbands were murdered at their desks, their killers never brought to justice. Men of spirit and peace were gunned down in greasy parking lots, fortunes were plundered, entire families- entire races- wiped out, and no one paid the price.

A tiny, blond beauty born to smile, could be taken so easily…

You couldn’t depend on others to fix things.

Arthur had been certain Jeremy would understand that because Jeremy had been through it.

Sitting in the toilet stall, a wave of peace washed over him.

Pathology and psychology were polar opposites, but none of that mattered. What counted was the ordeal.

The sword of war comes to the world for the delay of justice.

A two-thousand-year-old lesson from the Fathers, but it couldn’t have been more timely.

A glance at his watch reproached him.

Twice-stricken Doug Vilardi was waiting for him. Another type of ordeal.

At least this pain was something Jeremy had been trained to deal with.

Words. Strategic pauses, kindness in the eyes. Meaning it.

Not enough, not nearly enough…

Here I come, victims of the world. God help all of us.

41

Doug looked like a patient.

Hooked up to his chemo drip, still in good spirits and voluble, but his facial muscles had slackened.

His prosthesis was covered in a vinyl case and lay on the floor.

Jeremy sat down, made small talk, tried to edge him toward masonry. Doug shook off the distraction.

“You know what bugs me, Doc? Two things. First of all, they let other guys get their chemo at home, but me they want to keep cooped up here.”

“Did you ask Dr. Ramirez about that?”

“Yeah, my spleen’s fucked up. They’ll maybe have to take it out.” He grinned. “No heavy lifting, I might explode, make a big fucking mess.” The grin faded. “Also my liver’s not primo. See?”

He tugged down an eyelid. The sclera was greenish beige.

Jeremy said, “No beer, today.”

“Too bad about that… so, how’ve you been?”

“You said two things were bothering you.”

“Oh, yeah. Number two: Everyone’s being too damn nice to me. Creeps me out. Like they think I’m gonna die, or something.”

“I can write an order, if you’d like,” said Jeremy. “ ‘Everyone be obnoxious to Doug.’ ”

The young man laughed. “Yeah, do that… so, you’ve been okay, Doc?”

“Fine.”

“You look a little, I dunno, wiped out. They working you too hard?”

“Same old same old.”

“Yeah… no offense- that crack about looking tired. Maybe it’s me, maybe I’m not seeing things right. Fact is, when I saw you yesterday, after all those years, I’m thinking, ‘This guy doesn’t change.’ It was like, back then, when I first met you, I was a kid and you were a grown-up, and now I’m grown-up and you haven’t really changed that much. It’s like… what, life slows down when you get older? Is that what happens?”

“It can,” said Jeremy.

“Guess it depends on how much fun you’re having,” said Doug.

“What do you mean?”

“You know- what they always say? Time goes fast when you’re having fun. My life’s been a blast, zip zip zip. One thing after the other, fucking adventures, one day I’m knocking up walls and then… and now I’m having a baby.” He glanced at the butterfly needle embedded atop his hand. “I hope they hurry up with getting me better. Gotta get the fuck outta here. Got lots of things to do.”

When he drifted off to sleep, Jeremy left the room and encountered Doug’s parents and wife. That turned into another hour in the cafeteria, where Jeremy brought the three of them coffee and food. They protested weakly, thanked him profusely. Young Marika barely spoke. Still stunned, she avoided Jeremy’s eyes when he tried to make contact.

Doug Vilardi, Sr. spent most of his time putting on the good cheer. That seemed to weary his wife, but she rolled with it. Most of the hour was filled with small talk.

When Jeremy got up to leave, so did Doug’s mother. She walked him out of the cafeteria, said, “I’ve never met a doctor like you.” Then she took Jeremy’s face in both of her hands and kissed his forehead.

A maternal kiss. It reminded Jeremy of something that had happened to him a long time ago. But he couldn’t be sure.

He saw his other patients, went to meet Angela up on the chest ward where she was finishing her last day. He found her in the company of three other residents, on the way to some kind of meeting. Got her away from the group with a raised eyebrow and herded her into an empty nurses’ room.

“How are you doing?”

“Fine.” She bit her lip. “I’ve been going over what happened. I think I overreacted.”

“You didn’t,” said Jeremy. “It happened, and it was bad.”

“Well, that’s not very comforting.”

“It happened, Angela.”

“Of course it did. I never doubted it did, but-”

“I repeated it for emphasis,” he said. “Because eventually, you may start to doubt that it happened. Denial’s like that.”

“I’m denying?” Her dark eyes flashed.

“It’s not a put-down. Denial’s not weakness- not neurotic. It’s a fact of life, a natural defense. Your mind and body will naturally want to protect themselves. Go with that. You may surprise yourself by feeling happy. Don’t fight that.”

“I may surprise myself?” she said. “What’s that, some sort of posthypnotic suggestion?”

“It’s a reasonable prediction.”

“I’m not close to happy.”

“Sooner or later you will be. The feelings will pass. But it happened.”

Angela stared at him. “All this advice.”

“Here’s more,” said Jeremy. “Stay away from him. He’s very bad news.”

“What do you-”

“Just stay away.”

“I wouldn’t worry about that,” she said. “This morning he was rounding, heading straight at me in the hall. I held my ground and when he saw me, he changed directions. Turned around and walked around to the other side. Took a circuitous route just to avoid me. So you see, he’s worried about me.”

If you knew. “Let’s keep it that way.”

“What are you saying, Jeremy? You don’t think I can handle him?”

“I’m sure you can. Just avoid him. Listen to me. Please.” He took hold of her shoulders, drew her close.

“This is scaring me a little.”

Good.

“If you’re careful, there’s nothing to be scared of. Promise me you’ll stay away from him. And look out for yourself.”

She pulled away from him. “Jeremy, you’re really freaking me out. What is going on?”

“He’s a bad guy, I can’t say more.”

“What? That heart patient who died? Did you learn something about that?”

“That may be part of it.”

“Part of it- God, what is going on?”

“Nothing,” he said.

“You come in here with all these dire pronouncements, and now you’re holding back? What’s gotten into you?”

“You’re off Thoracic, so it shouldn’t be a problem. Just do your work and stay away from him.” He smiled. “Don’t take candy from strangers.”

“Not funny,” she snapped. “You can’t just-”

“Do you think,” he said, “that I want to upset you?”

“No- I don’t know. I wish I knew what’s come over you. Why won’t you tell me what’s going on?”

He thought about that.

“Because I’m not sure.”

“About Dirgrove?”

“About everything he’s done.”

“Everything.” Her eyes got hard. “This is about her- Jocelyn- isn’t it- and don’t close up the way you did when I hinted around about her the other day. I know you went through hell, know I can never really understand it. But don’t you think, with what’s happened to us- with how close we’ve gotten so quickly- that you could trust me enough to not throw up barriers?”