Smiling with anticipation, Erin eased open the door and walked into her apartment. After closing and locking the door, she tossed her purse onto the sofa as she made her way toward the bedroom. Lying there buck naked in the middle of her bed, Clay Yarbrough grinned at her as she stood over him, hands on her hips and a smirk on her face.

“What are you doing here?” she asked.

“What does it look like?” He thrust his hips up to show off his erection. “I figured after getting all hot and bothered over Reverend Harper at church this morning, you might need a good fucking. And if there’s one thing I’m good at, it’s playing substitute stud for Baptist preachers.”

Without saying another word, Erin kicked off her shoes, unzipped her dress, removed it and tossed it on the floor. After easing off her pantyhose and stripping out of her bikini panties and bra, she crawled onto the bed and straddled Clay.

Gazing down into his rugged face, she said, “I’m actually very fond of you, you know.”

Clay laughed. “Honey, you’re fond of this.” He grabbed his penis and rubbed it up and down between her feminine lips. “And I don’t mind your calling me Lester or John Earl or whoever happens to be the minister of the month, just as long as I’m the guy who’s screwing your brains out.”

“Shut up, darling.” She gently clutched his penis and inserted it into her body, then slid down over it, taking him completely inside her. “Make love to me.” She closed her eyes and sighed. Make love to me, John Earl. John Earl…

“It would be my pleasure, my sweet Erin.” He grasped her hips in his rough hands and set the rhythm for their frenzied mating. “Fuck me, baby. Come on. Give your John Earl a good fucking.”

She went wild, clawing and scratching, moaning and screaming until she climaxed. While she melted around him, he flipped her over on her back and lunged deeper and harder until he came.

Ten minutes later, Clay was gone. He had dumped his condom in the bathroom wastepaper basket, washed, put on his clothes, kissed her on the forehead and left.

Erin lay there, naked, her body slightly bruised and completely sated in a physical way. But emotionally, she felt empty. For a few glorious minutes, she had been able to pretend the man giving her pleasure was John Earl, just as, years ago, after Clay’s father had ended their affair, she had been able to pretend the seventeen-year-old Clay had been Lester.

She was alone, so alone. When she loved, she loved completely. She gave her all and got so little in return. As much as she had loved the men in her life, she had also hated them.

Why couldn’t John Earl look at her just once and see her for who she was? His soul mate. The woman meant to be his wife.

No, she wasn’t perfect. She wasn’t without sin. But then neither was he. For all his goodness, John Earl was as human as all clergymen were. He made mistakes. He sinned. And he, like all others, would one day be rewarded for his goodness and punished for his sins.

Erin curled into a fetal ball and wept.

Chapter Seventeen

Seth had left Sunday night services with his grandparents, and Missy had gone home with a girlfriend, the daughter of a church deacon, for a sleepover. Since Cathy had spent the day with Donnie, Missy and Seth, she didn’t have a way home tonight and had gladly accepted Donnie’s offer to escort her. Otherwise she would have been forced to either walk or allow her mother to drive her home.

The day that had begun so badly had actually ended on a positive note. A couple of hours before Sunday night services, Donnie had persuaded Cathy to go with him to talk to J.B. and Mona. She had agreed reluctantly, but much to her surprise, the visit had gone much better than she had anticipated.

“I believe you’re a miracle worker,” Cathy told Donnie.

When he smiled, shallow dimples appeared in his round cheeks. He was an attractive man in a cute, boyish way. He was one of those people who would look the same at sixty as he had at six, simply older. But what his face lacked in strength and maturity, it made up for in a gentle attractiveness.

Donnie turned to her there in the semidarkness inside his car and smiled. “You give me too much credit. All I did was intervene between the two of you. I reminded Brother Cantrell that in his zeal to protect Seth, he cannot forget that you are Seth’s mother and you love him.”

“And you reminded me that even if I disagree with J.B., which I do, that I owe him and Mona a debt of gratitude for taking good care of Seth while I was ill.”

Donnie spread his arm across the back of Cathy’s seat and leaned toward her, his gaze connecting with hers. “We made progress this afternoon when we stopped by the Cantrells. You showed Seth that you’re willing to meet his grandfather halfway, that you and J.B. don’t have to be enemies.”

“I hate the thought of making Seth choose between his grandparents and me,” Cathy said. “But I felt that J.B. was giving me no choice but to take them to court to regain custody.”

“And now?”

“Now, thanks to you, I’m willing to wait a little while longer in the hopes that J.B. will see reason and I won’t have to take drastic measures.”

“It could take weeks, even months,” Donnie told her. “You must be patient. I’ll talk to J.B. again.”

“In the meantime, I want Seth to be able to spend the night at my home whenever he wants to while we’re trying to settle this problem out of court.”

“Why don’t you let me continue talking to J.B.? I can suggest that he allow Seth to join you and Missy and me for dinner and a movie this Friday night. And if he’s in agreement, I’ll see if he’ll consider allowing Seth to spend the night with you.”

Cathy’s heart soared with hope. This morning, she had been certain that she had no other alternative than to take her in-laws to court. But tonight, she thought there was a possibility that J.B. might eventually see reason. She was willing to wait, just not forever. Seth had all but said that he had changed his mind and wanted to live with her, but he’d been adamant about not wanting to hurt his grandparents.

“I’m all Nana and Granddad have now that Dad’s gone,” Seth had said.

“You’re all I have, too,” she’d reminded him.

“I know, Mom, but you’re young, and you’ll probably get married again and have more kids.”

Surprised by his comment, she had questioned his reasoning. She knew, before he confirmed her suspicions, that he had simply repeated exactly what J.B. had said about her.

Donnie cleared his throat, which immediately drew her back into the present moment. She smiled at him. He looked at her longingly, as if he wanted to kiss her. All she had to do was respond. But did she want him to kiss her? She was sure the experience would be pleasant, but in all honesty, she wasn’t attracted to him in a sexual, man-woman way. How could she tell him without hurting his feelings, which she would never do, not for anything in the world. If he kissed her…

Suddenly he moved back and away from her. He cleared his throat again. “I should walk you to your door and then go home. I need a good night’s rest tonight. I’m working all day tomorrow at the community food bank, from seven in the morning until six in the evening.”

“I appreciate the ride home, but you don’t have to walk me to the door.”

“Of course I do. What kind of Southern gentleman would I be if I didn’t escort you safely to your front door?”

They both laughed.

By the time Cathy opened the car door and stepped out onto the driveway, Donnie was there with his hand extended. She took his soft hand and smiled when he clasped hers tenderly.

There was something about Donnie that reminded her of Mark. Not so much his physical appearance as his demeanor. He seemed to possess a similar easygoing charm and sweet gentleness. And he was a minister of the gospel, a man dedicating his life to helping others. If she were dating Donnie, her in-laws and mother would approve. But if she encouraged a relationship with him, it would be for all the wrong reasons.