“What’s gonna happen to you, nena, if I don’t fix this?” Melanie whispered now.

She heard a noise behind her and turned. Steve stood in the doorway, the light from the hall picking up the gold in his hair. He was so gorgeous, she thought, he made great money, and he loved his daughter like only her own father could. What if Melanie’s mother was right? Plenty of other women in her shoes would patch things up and consider themselves fortunate. What was her problem? Maybe she should try harder to work things out. If there was one vow she’d ever made, it was that Maya’s childhood would be better than her own.

Steve walked over and stood beside her. “She’s so beautiful,” he said, looking down into the crib. “Like you.”

He took her hand and pulled her toward the door.

“Steve-”

“Shhh!” He put his finger to her lips until they were in the hallway, then led her into their bedroom, where he turned her to face him. He kissed her lightly on the lips and began unbuttoning her blouse.

“I thought about it on the way home, Melanie, and I’m willing to forget about this incident with the FBI guy. I get the point. You wanted me to see that other men find you attractive. You think I don’t know that, baby? You’re so damn hot,” he said, nuzzling her ear.

“You’re crazy. We need to talk, not have sex.”

She frowned, but she didn’t stop him. This was how he always dealt with their problems, and it wasn’t working anymore. Or was it? His touch still made her knees go weak. She wanted to protest, to tell him that Dan was more to her than a point she was trying to make. But Steve was distracting her, sliding her blouse off her shoulders and kissing her neck, then her mouth. She started kissing back. She couldn’t help it-he was a great kisser. She’d say that much for him. The way he used his tongue to part her lips, ay, mami, so good! And he picked exactly the right moment to slide his hands slowly around her behind and pull her tight against him. She could feel her insides melting.

“Yeah, you have a little wild streak, don’t you?” he whispered in her ear.

“You’re the wild one, not me,” she said, between wet kisses and heavy breathing. “Remember when we first met, at that ski share? You couldn’t decide who you were gonna bed first, me or that bitch Kelly what’s-her-name. I knew from the start you were a playboy, but you were so handsome I didn’t listen to myself.”

He pulled back and looked at her, his hazel eyes sleepy with lust. “Kelly? No way. She was boring and uptight. You were always the one I wanted. Like I said, the hottest thing on the planet. Why do you think I married you?”

“Steve, there’s more to marriage than just sex.”

“Yeah? Who says?” He pushed her down onto the bed and climbed on top of her, nudging her legs apart with his knee. “When the sex is this good, who needs anything else? Not me.”

Well, I do, she thought, but she couldn’t speak with his tongue in her mouth. Okay, so maybe she’d wait and tell him that afterwards.

“Oh!” she moaned.

“See, baby? Told ya.”

SHE HAD TO STOP HAVING SEX WITH HER HUSBAND. Not only was it confusing but it made her feel cheap. Though how could that be? she asked herself, looking at Steve after he rolled off her. This was the man she’d married, in the eyes of God and the law. The father of her child. She was doing exactly what she was supposed to do, trying to work things out with him, wasn’t she?

Steve started to snore.

“Hey!” She poked him. “Wake up!”

“Wha’?”

“Wake up. We need to talk. Then you need to go. GO, go.”

“No way. I’m too tired. You wore me out, Mel.”

“I’m not kidding about the separation, Steve.”

He sat up and looked at her.

“Why? Because of that musclehead creep in the trashy car? I got a look at him. He has ‘fling’ written all over him, Mel. You’re rebounding. I understand, and I’m prepared to forgive. Provided you never see him again, of course.”

“You’re assuming all I’m after is sex because that’s all you’re after. Dan happens to be a very substantive human being. He’s caring and a great listener-”

“Oh, and since when does shit like that even matter to you?” he asked angrily.

“What?”

“Look, I’m not criticizing you or anything. But intimacy is not your strong suit. After the childhood you had, who can blame you?”

“What are you talking about?”

“If you don’t get it, you ought to take a long, hard look in the mirror, Mel. Think about it. You work all the time. You have no close friends. And you and me-we have fun, and we’re really compatible. But this isn’t one of those relationships where we sit around blabbing about our innermost feelings. Like you’d ever get that from Mr. Musclehead anyway. Gimme a break!”

She got up and pulled on a bathrobe, then walked over to the window, not speaking, more troubled than she cared to admit by what he’d said.

“You know they never caught the man who shot my father,” she began tentatively. “Sixteen years ago, and he’s still out there somewhere. That’s why I work so hard. To stop other people from suffering what I suffered.”

“Hey, like I said, you have your reasons. I’m not blaming you, and I’m not complaining. I’m crazy about you, just the way you are. You’re gorgeous and smart and fun in bed. You’re an amazing mother. But it doesn’t ring true for you to go all psychobabble on me, Mel.”

“If it’s really like you say, doesn’t that mean we need to work on our relationship? And work on ourselves?” she asked, turning away from the window and looking at him.

“No! We’ve got a good thing going here, baby. Let’s not overthink it, okay? The best solution is just to forget this ever happened. I cheated with Samantha, then you fooled around with Mr. Universe. Fair’s fair. Let’s just call it even and put it behind us. I mean, what more do you want?”

More than that, she thought. I want more than that.

Steve sighed and rubbed his eyes. His stomach rumbled. “I never had dinner tonight,” he said. “Want to order some Chinese?”

She walked over and picked up his pants from where they lay on the floor, handing them to him. “The diner on Madison is open until eleven. You can still get something if you hurry.”

“You’re kidding, right?”

“Steve, you may be content to live your life in the kind of relationship you just described, with the kind of partner you seem to think I am. I’m not willing to settle for that.”

He sighed, looking down at the pants in his hand. “Fine, if you insist, we’ll go back to that marriage counselor. If that’s what you need to feel better.”

“Don’t say that just because you want to sleep over tonight. You need to be sincere. Look, I really think we need some time apart, to figure out how serious we are about fixing this marriage.”

He studied her for a moment, then stood up and pulled on his pants.

“Okay,” he said. “I’ll indulge you for a little while longer, Mel. I guess you’re more upset about Samantha than I realized. But I’m warning you, there’s a limit. I’m getting tired of sleeping at my parents’. And if you see that guy again, I am not going to be happy.”

She followed him to the foyer to lock up behind him. As he left, she automatically kissed him good night. The kiss made her sad, but it wouldn’t have felt right to let him leave without one either. Old habits die hard.

AFTER STEVE LEFT, SHE GOT THE MUNCHIES something awful. It must be stress. Or all the sex. Lucky Steve was gone, because if he were still here, they’d probably wind up doing it again. Food was a safer option. She’d rather have her stomach full and her mind clear of her husband, so she could think.

She went hunting through the cabinets to find it. The small, square box with the blue-and-gold label that hadn’t changed since her childhood. Flan from a mix, her favorite dessert as a kid. And yes, she was an assimilated, mainland Puerto Rican whose mami didn’t know how to make the real thing from scratch. So what? That’s who she was, and she should stop being so down on herself.