“Oh.” My voice sounded loud and startled to my own ears. The strength I’d just been afraid of was exactly what the creature was offering to Colin. My fear broke apart, making the next breath I took easier, and suddenly the snake’s weight seemed much less significant. “Thank you,” I said again to the snake. “But I have a question. Will carrying you with me make it harder for me to do a spirit quest for another friend? I have a lot to do this morning.”
The snake twined its way back up my arm and stuck its tongue in my ear. I tried not to squirm or shriek as it hissed, “Perhaps. I have come to help. Shall I help more than one?”
My heart slowed down as I considered the offer, my thoughts long and careful between one beat and the next. “No,” I said after a few echoes had pounded through my body. “I think Colin will need all the strength you can spare him. I think I need to do another quest for my other friend.”
“Very well.” The snake slid down off my shoulders and wrapped itself in a loose circle around my folded legs, not touching me. “When you have completed your quessst, we shall all return together.”
“Thank you,” I said, surprised at how much I meant it. “Judy, would you drum again, please?”
She pursed her mouth, lifted the drum, and began a new beat. I took a deep breath, smiling briefly at her, but her concentration was for the drum. I shrugged, tilting my head back as I closed my eyes, and fell into darkness again.
It felt different this time. The darkness behind my eyelids was cool and slick, like black water. I could hear my heartbeat more clearly than Judy’s drum, and my breathing was easier. My ribs creaked as I inhaled, and I enjoyed the sensation. I knew Gary a lot better. Maybe that was why it was so much easier.
Focusing on Gary took less distinct concentration. I was able to remember the funny gray eyes and bushy eyebrows, the deep-set wrinkles and the shock of white hair and the strong white teeth without carefully rebuilding the image in my mind every few seconds. The width of his shoulders, which, if they’d lessened with age, made me wonder how big a man he’d been in his youth, and the carpe diem strength that made me feel like a piker in my own life.
Mostly, though, what I held on to as I put a second call out into the void wasn’t physical. It was his heart, the periodic gruffness that overlaid tremendous caring and the steady thrum of his soul, the V-8 engine that charged him.Please, I found myself whispering again, into a darkness that hadn’t decided to answer yet.He’s a terrific old man. I wouldn’t have made it this far without him. Is there anyone who will help him?
Tiny floating spots of brightness began appearing behind my eyelids, little explosive fireworks. They danced around, staying at a safe distance, which made me wonder how I could tell distance in the space between my eyes and their lids. They—the lights were athey, not the usual floaties I got when I closed my eyes under a bright light source—were waiting for something. For once I wasn’t at a loss as to what it was.
I need him, too. I felt a painful smile curve my mouth just a little, and my bright lights swam as tears burned against my eyelids.I know spirit quests for someone else aren’t supposed to be for selfish reasons, but…I need him, too. Please, I asked one more time.Lend your strength to an old man whose time shouldn’t be now. Not yet.
Half a dozen of the lights erupted, leaping toward me from out of the darkness. I twitched, keeping my eyes closed. Behind my eyelids, animals warred playfully with each other, glowing from within as they jumped and pounced and batted at one another. A wolf stretched into downward-facing-dog, baring his teeth and wagging his tail frantically at a bear that lifted a heavy paw in mock warning. They charged one another, hitting in a spray of fireworks that shot blue and gold through the backs of my eyes, so bright it hurt. I let out a startled yell, flinging my arm over my eyes, which didn’t help at all.
A thick-shouldered ram lowered his head and charged a lion who sat lashing his tail and watching the goings-on with interest. The ram crashed into its shoulder, sending both animals head over heels. The lion roared, a sound like laughter, and together the two creatures rolled into the still-sparring bear and wolf. Another volley of sparks ensued, as crackly and noisy and bright as a static-filled blanket on a dark winter night. An eagle joined the fray, winging down out of the blackness behind my eyelids to slam into the rolling, chortling mess of animals, its claws curled harmlessly into fists as it battered the others with its wings. Below all of them, a badger erupted up from the darkness, making me laugh out loud. It scrambled up the bear’s hide, clearly wanting a chance at the eagle.
Distantly, I heard Judy’s drum falter when I laughed, but my own heartbeat was strong, and the spirit animals rumbling to see who got to help Gary made me feel tremendously better. I took a breath, about to speak to them, when I felt a bump against my foot. It wasn’t the same physical ponderousness that had made me open my eyes when the snake appeared. It felt more like the arrival of these spirit animals, a shower of sparks that lit different parts of my body. I looked down to discover a tortoise waiting patiently at my toes. I crouched, smiling as the other animals continued their playful war. The tortoise blinked slowly at me, and it was everything I could do to keep from picking it up and hugging it. I had the idea tortoises weren’t big on hugs. “Thank you,” I whispered to it. It bobbed its head and put one of its front feet on mine, which I took as an invitation to pick it up, carefully.
My hand touched the shining patterns on its shell, and light slammed into me so hard I lost consciousness.
CHAPTER 15
The first thing I noticed was my head hurt so badly it felt like the top was coming off. Blood pounded in my temples hard enough to make me put stacked odds on being upside-down, but I was afraid to open my eyes and find out. Light seared into me from all sides. I was pretty sure if I opened my eyes, I’d discover that my bones would be dark shapes in my lit-up flesh. The air I breathed was hot, much hotter than the Lower World air, and tasted of dryness. Sand, I thought, and my eyes opened without consulting me on the matter.
At first there was nothing to see, just whiteness so intense it made my eyes try to turn around and crawl into my head. Tears streamed down my forehead and into my hair. I was almost certain I heard sizzling as they beaded and hit the ground somewhere below me. Crushing my eyes closed didn’t help any: the light smashed right through my eyelids as if they weren’t even there, prying out all the imagined places of shadow where my vision was trying to hide. I peeled my lashes open in the tiniest squint I could manage.
The light didn’t recede, but after a dozen head-pounding heartbeats my vision adjusted very slightly. It took a long time to get my eyes all the way open. By the time I had, I could feel sunburn setting into my skin, so deep it felt like my bones were burning.
The sky was white with heat, cloudless and stretching to approximately forever, where it ran into a horizon as blindingly white as the ground below me. The sun was too close and much too hot. If it hadn’t been for the fact my hands were tied behind my back, I’d have thought I could touch it.
I was trussed up like a chicken for Sunday dinner. My ankles were bound together and I hung upside-down from what appeared to be the only tree in Creation. It was about twelve feet tall and so extremely dead that I was astounded its bleached branches could hold my weight. The ground, crystals of sand too tired from the weight of the sun to even glisten, lay about six inches above my head. There were tiny indentations directly below me where my tears had hit and evaporated.