“Can I sit down?” Dana asked.
“If you want to,” Marissa said. Then she added, “You don’t look good.”
Dana sat on the edge of the bed and said, “First of all, I’m sorry.”
“Sorry for what?”
“That you had to see all that yesterday. I know how… disturbing this must be for you.”
“Disturbing?” Marissa laughed sarcastically. “I just don’t know what took you guys so long.”
“You know?”
“Dad called me before and told me.”
“Told you what?” Dana was afraid that Adam was already bad- mouthing her.
“That you guys are getting a divorce, and I think it’s a good thing, to be honest. You two have been making each other miserable for years.”
“It hasn’t been years.”
“It’s been years,” Marissa said. “So why stay together if you can’t be happy? You should both go find people you’re, I don’t know, more compatible with.”
“It’s not so easy,” Dana said, not sure if she meant going through a divorce, finding another man, or both.
“Oh, come on,” Marissa said. “You’re hot. Even Xan said so.”
“Really?” Dana needed the ego boost.
“Yes, really. His exact quote was ‘Your mom’s hot.’ ”
“Well, that was very nice of him, he’s very sweet, but I’m not so confident about that. I think most men my age will be looking for women your age.”
“You didn’t have any trouble hooking up with that guy Tony, and he’s like, what, twenty years younger than you?”
“First of all, what happened between Tony and me was never serious, it’s important for you to know that. I know Dad’s going to make out to you like I got into this actual relationship with another man, that that’s why we’re getting divorced, but that’s not the way it is at all. I’m not leaving him. What’s happening between us is mutual; it’s not any one person’s fault. And I want you to know how sorry I am that you had to find out about it the way you did. I know how upsetting that must’ve been for you.”
“Oh, pa- leeze,” Marissa said. “You guys getting a divorce isn’t exactly a bombshell. Besides, I already knew about you and Tony.”
“You did? How?”
“Hillary heard you and Sharon talking about it the other day. I still can’t believe it, though, about Dad and Sharon. That was a real surprise. I mean, I just didn’t see that one coming at all.”
Dana’s eyes were getting teary, but she didn’t want to start crying again, especially not in front of Marissa. She had to look away.
“Don’t worry, Mom, it’s gonna be okay. I told Dad that I think that was so wrong that he hooked up with Sharon. I mean, she’s your friend, but Hillary’s my friend, and it’s just not right that he did that.”
Dana put an arm around Marissa and said, “I just want to make sure you’re okay with all of this. I don’t want you to have resentment, toward me or your father.”
“Stop thinking about me,” Marissa said. “Just do whatever you have to do, and I’ll be fine.”
Dana couldn’t hold back the tears now, and she leaned her head against her daughter’s shoulder and sobbed.
Dana went back to her bedroom and got back into bed. She eventually dozed. When she woke up she was surprised that it was past six fifteen and that she’d been asleep nearly three hours, because she didn’t feel at all rejuvenated.
Though she wasn’t hungry and didn’t feel like getting out of bed, she knew that eating something would probably be a good idea. She had mild hypoglycemia, and when she let her blood sugar get too low she got very anxious, irritable, and depressed.
Heading downstairs, she noticed that Marissa’s room was empty. At the bottom of the staircase, in the foyer, she called out, “Marissa,” but there was no answer. She probably went out to meet a friend or something.
Next door Blackie, the Millers’ German shepherd, was barking loudly. Sometimes Blackie started barking at the mailman or at other delivery people.
Dana went to the kitchen and made a sandwich: turkey breast with lettuce and tomato on whole wheat. She really wasn’t in the mood for food. She managed a few bites, then put the rest away in the fridge. She was loading the dishwasher when the back doorbell rang.
That was unusual. She and Adam and Marissa used the entrance occasionally, mainly when they parked in the driveway, but they almost always entered with a key. Her first thought was it was probably a delivery person, or Con Ed to inspect the meter. That would explain why Blackie was still barking so wildly. Dana wasn’t expecting any deliveries, though, and didn’t the Con Ed guy always ring the front doorbell?
She was too frazzled to think any of this through in any greater depth. She parted the curtain that covered the windowpane on the door and saw Xan. He was wearing dark sunglasses, and when he saw her peering through the glass he smiled widely and gave her a little wave.
She immediately let go of the curtain and thought, Shit. She couldn’t let him in looking like this again. She was in a ratty T-shirt and baggy sweats and wasn’t wearing a stitch of makeup.
“Um, one second!” she said, and she rushed upstairs.
As fast as she could she changed into jeans, and a tighter long- sleeved black top, a better bra, and then she put on lipstick and a little blush and pulled her hair back into a ponytail. She checked herself out in the mirror on the dresser. She still looked like crap, but it was better than nothing. Then she said, “Shoes, shit,” and went for something with a little heel- black leather boots- and went back downstairs.
She opened the front door, and Xan smiled widely.
“Hey,” he said.
She’d forgotten how good- looking he was. He lifted his sunglasses and rested them on top of his head, and she was momentarily startled by the blueness of his eyes.
“Hi,” she said. “I’m sorry about that. I was just, um, in the middle of something.”
Blackie was still barking like crazy.
“That’s okay,” Xan said. “I didn’t mind waiting.”
“Marissa’s not here right now,” Dana said. “Would you like to come in?”
“If that’s okay with you.”
“Of course it’s okay.”
She let Xan by her and then closed the door and locked it.
“I don’t know when Marissa left,” she said, “or when she’s coming back. Were you supposed to meet her soon?”
“Yeah, right about now, actually.”
“Oh, well, why don’t you sit down? Can I get you something to drink?”
He remained standing, not far from the table, and asked, “What do you have?”
“Whatever you’d like,” she said. “Coke, Diet Coke, orange juice, water, iced tea…”
“Iced tea would be great.”
As she opened the fridge she had the same feeling she’d had the other night, that he was watching her, checking her out. She took out the jug of iced tea, and then, noticing that Xan was still standing, not sitting, she reached up to the cabinet to get a glass, saying, “In the future, we usually use the front door.”
“Oh, sorry,” he said.
“No, no, it’s no big deal at all,” she said. “It’s just sometimes hard to hear the back doorbell. I wish that damn dog would stop barking.”
“I rang the front bell, but no one answered,” Xan said.
“Oh,” Dana said, “that’s strange.”
She wondered if it was possible that he had rung the bell while she was still asleep. No, at least a couple of minutes had gone by from the time she woke up to the time the back doorbell rang.
Pouring the iced tea into the glass, she said, “It really doesn’t matter one way or the other.”
As she handed him the glass he said, “Thank you.” He took a sip, then asked, “So is Mr. Bloom home?”
She wasn’t sure why he was asking this, but she said, “You can call him Adam, but no, he’s not here either.”
“And you said I can call you Dana, right?” He was smiling, looking right into her eyes.
“Yes,” she said, “Dana’s fine.”
“You didn’t have to do all this for me, Dana.”
She was distracted momentarily by his intense gaze; then she said, “All what for you?”