Her fingers hesitated.
For an instant, she allowed herself to think that perhaps he’d simply chickened out. He’d understood that she was going to dump him once and for all and decided not to hear the bad news in person. Maybe, she thought, he’s out of my life already. In that case, the call was unnecessary and, in fact, would defeat the purpose.
She didn’t think she could be that lucky, but it certainly was a possibility. She could be suddenly, abruptly, delightfully free.
A little unsure about precisely what had happened, she went back to work, trying to fill her head with the humdrum of the job.
Ashley worked late, although she didn’t need to.
It was spitting rain outdoors when she exited the museum. A cold, angry sort of rain that played a drumbeat of loneliness on the sidewalk. Ashley tugged on a knit cap and pulled her coat tight as she set out, head down. She gingerly walked down the museum’s slick steps to the sidewalk and started to turn up the street, then her eyes caught a red neon reflection glistening from a storefront opposite her. The lights seemed to wash into the glare from automobile headlights that swept past. She was not sure why her eyes were pulled in that direction, but the figure she saw was ghostlike.
Standing just to the side, so that he was halfway in the light, halfway in a shadow, Michael O’Connell waited.
She stopped sharply.
Their eyes locked across the street.
He was wearing a dark stocking cap and a olive-drab, military-styled parka. He seemed both anonymous and hidden, but, at the same time, glowed with some intensity that she could not put a word to.
She felt a sudden heat within her and gasped for air, as if she’d suddenly turned short of breath.
He made no gesture. No sign other than his fixed stare that he even recognized her.
On the street in front of her, a car suddenly swerved to avoid a taxi, sending a sheet of light across her path. There was a sudden blaring of horns, and a momentary screech of tires against wet pavement. She was distracted for just an instant, and when she turned back, O’Connell was gone.
She recoiled again.
She looked up and down, but it was as if he had vanished. For a moment, she was unsure precisely what she had seen. He seemed more hallucination than reality.
Ashley’s first step forward was unsteady, not in the same way that a drunken person at a party might take, or a bereaved widow at a funeral service might manage. It was a step filled with doubt. Again she pivoted, trying to spot O’Connell, but she could not make him out. She was overcome with the sensation that he was right behind her, and she abruptly turned around, nearly colliding with a businessman hurrying down the street. As she lurched out of the man’s path, she almost bumped into a couple of young people, who managed a quick “Hey! Watch out!” before sliding past her.
Ashley turned and followed them, her feet sloshing through puddles, moving as quickly as she could. She kept swiveling her head, searching right and left, but without success. She wanted to turn and check behind her, but she was too scared. Instead, she barreled on, almost running.
Within a few seconds she was at the T station, and she pushed her way through the turnstile, almost relieved by the crowds and the harsh, glaring lights of the platform.
She craned her head forward, trying to pick O’Connell out among the knots of people waiting for the train. Once again, he was nowhere. She turned and stared at the people coming through the turnstiles and up the stairs, but he wasn’t among them. Still, she wasn’t at all certain that he wasn’t there. She couldn’t see through every clutch of people, and posters and stanchions obscured her line of sight. She leaned out, wanting the train to come. At that moment, more than anything, she wanted to get away. She reassured herself that nothing could happen to her in a crowded train station, and as she told herself she was safe, she felt herself jostled from the back, and for a dizzying second, she thought she was going to lose her balance and fall onto the tracks. She gasped and jerked back.
Ashley swallowed hard and shook her head. She braced herself, tightening her muscles like an athlete anticipating the blow of contact, as if Michael O’Connell were directly behind her and ready to push her. She listened for the sound of his breathing in her ear, too crazed to turn and look. The approaching train filled the platform with harsh braking noises. She released a long breath of relief when the train slid to a stop in front of her and the doors opened with a whooshing sound.
She let herself be carried forward by the surge from the commuters and slid into a seat, immediately crammed between an older woman and a student, who slumped beside her smelling of cigarettes. In front of her a half dozen other riders clung to the metal hand straps and overhead bars.
Ashley looked up, right and left, inspecting every face.
With another whoosh, the doors closed. The train lurched once as it took off.
She was unsure why, but she swiveled in her seat and took a single glance back at the elevated train platform as the train started to pick up speed. What she saw almost made her choke, and it was all she could do to prevent herself from crying out in fear: O’Connell was standing right in the same spot where she’d been seconds earlier. He didn’t move. He was statuelike, impassive. His eyes were once again locked on hers, as she was carried away by the accelerating train. As they pulled away from the station, O’Connell disappeared behind her.
She felt the rhythmic sway of the commuter train as it gathered speed, sweeping her away from the man who’d followed her. But no matter how fast it went, Ashley understood that the distance it placed between them was elusive and probably, ultimately, nonexistent.
The campus of the University of Massachusetts-Boston is located in Dorchester right next to the harbor. Its buildings are as graceless and stolid as a medieval fortification, and on a hot, early-summer day, the brown brick walls and gray concrete walkways seem to absorb the heat. It is a plain stepsister of a school. It caters to many seeking to take a second bite at education, with an infantryman’s sensibility: not pretty, but critically important when you need it most.
I got lost once in the sea of cement, had to ask for directions, before finding the right stairwell that descended into a threadbare lounge outside a cafeteria. I hesitated for a moment, then spotted Professor Corcoran waving for me from one of the quieter corners.
Introductions were quick, a handshake and a little small talk about the unseasonably hot weather.
“So,” the professor said as he sat down and took a swig of bottled water, “How precisely is it that I can help you?”
“Michael O’Connell,” I replied. “He took two of your computer courses a few years back. I was hoping you might recall him.”
Corcoran nodded. “I do, indeed. I mean, I shouldn’t, really, but I do, which says something all in itself.”
“How so?”
“Dozens, no, hundreds of students have passed through the same two courses he took from me, over the last few years. Lots of tests, lots of final papers, lots of faces. After a while, they all pretty much blend into one generic blue-jeans-wearing, baseball-cap-on-backwards, working-two-different-jobs-to-support-themselves-through-Second-Chance-U sort of student.”
“O’Connell, though…”
“Well, let’s say it doesn’t surprise me to have someone show up asking questions about him.”
The professor was a wiry, small man, with bifocals and thinning, sandy blond hair. He had a row of pens and pencils in his shirt pocket, and a battered, overstuffed, brown canvas briefcase.
“Okay,” I said, “why doesn’t it surprise you?”
“Actually, I always figured it for a detective who would show up with an inquiry or two about O’Connell. Or the FBI or maybe an assistant U.S. attorney. You know who comes to the classes I teach? Students who quite accurately believe that the skills they will learn will improve their financial outlook considerably. The problem is, the more adept the students become, the more clear it becomes how you can misuse the information.”