Every woman at the temple had tried to seduce him or his brother at one time or another. They were the only men around. But Nathan had never felt such an incredible pull toward any of them. Tracy was the exact opposite of every woman he’d ever known. She was competent at business, strong physically, and not in the least bit averse to hard work. And yet on the sexual side, she was nervous and uncertain. Before all this had begun, she’d been a shy flirt. And now, she resisted her sexuality until she was literally sick with it. Who could understand such a woman? And who could resist teaching her to embrace her feminine power?

“Nathan,” she whispered, her voice making his belly tighten with hunger. “Please. I don’t want them. I want you.”

“Why did you wait?” he pressed.

“I…I…” She swallowed, then she looked into his eyes and he saw stark terror in them. “I’m afraid. I don’t want to do this. I don’t want to be like this.”

“But why?” He truly didn’t understand. What woman wouldn’t want to be a sexual goddess? A woman lusted after by every man alive?

“Just make it go away. Make it all stop.”

“You have to come to a class, Tracy. You have to learn to control the tigress.” The need to comfort her burned inside. He wanted to hold her, to take the fear from her eyes. But if he touched her, if he once gave in to temptation, there would be no stopping. He was already rock hard, his every cell straining for her. “I cannot take advantage of you like this,” he said, as much to himself as to her.

“I’ll pay you.”

He blinked, her words dousing his fire more effectively than a cold shower. “I’m sorry?”

She blanched, then abruptly rubbed her hand over her face. “I don’t know what I’m saying. Nathan, I don’t know what to do!”

God help him, he was tempted. She obviously needed help. She didn’t yet realize that she would need balancing on a regular basis. Weekly, at least. It was not as if it were a hardship for him, but he couldn’t do it. He couldn’t use her like that even though every cell in his body screamed for him to ease her suffering.

Nathan moved fast. Spinning around, he grabbed a book off his shelf, then returned to the door to block it before she could push her way in. He nearly didn’t make it. She had her shoulder against the door, but he caught it before she could nudge it open. He shoved the book at her, careful not to touch her or his resistance would crumple entirely.

“Study this,” he said. “It will give you basic exercises. Don’t come back until you have mastered the initial forms.”

She stared at him, her mouth slipping open in shock. “You want me to read a book?” she gasped. “When you could…When we could be…You want me to read?”

No! “Yes.”

Her eyes widened as the truth finally hit her. He wasn’t going to touch her tonight. “But there’s another football game tomorrow evening!”

He tried not to imagine it. He tried not to think of her under the bleachers with any one of the willing American boys who would happily join her there. “Read fast,” he said. And then he did the hardest thing he’d ever done in his entire life.

He shut the door.

Chapter 8

TRACY WAS SITTING by his door when he returned from class the next day. Her body still radiated beauty, but her shoulders were slumped with defeat.

He knelt down before her, his sympathy fully engaged. “You could have used your pass key.”

She frowned. “I wouldn’t violate your privacy that way.”

Progress. “Why are you here, Tracy?”

“I went to a bar.”

His breath stopped and his mind reeled. She didn’t look hurt, but anything could have happened. The dangers—

“I thought if you wouldn’t help, then someone else would.”

“Tracy,” he whispered, unable to say more. But a wealth of anguish vibrated through her name. She must have heard it because her gaze jumped to his.

“I couldn’t do it, Nathan. If my vibrator wasn’t doing what I needed, then meaningless sex with a stranger wouldn’t, either.” She shuddered then she looked him straight in the eye. “I want you. I’ve wanted you for months.”

His breath froze in his chest. What had happened to his shy landlord? The one who flirted so sweetly, but never went beyond the initial stages? He knew the answer. He knew and he mourned. “You’re a tigress, Tracy. You want to train, to go to the temple and eventually to walk with divine angels. You don’t actually want me.” He swallowed.

It killed him to say it, but he had to remind himself that it was the truth. She was a tigress. She was destined for bigger things than him. And no matter how much she thought she wanted him right now, he was only one step on the path. Hadn’t he experienced exactly that dozens of times? How many tigresses had sworn they wanted only him? Then once their needs had been met, they’d moved on to the next man. It was what tigresses did. They craved yang power from as many men as possible as often as possible.

As long as he remembered that, then he could teach Tracy and send her to the temple. Sighing, he cupped her elbow. “Come inside.”

She nodded, already straightening. “I want to learn, Nathan. I’ll do whatever it takes.” Then she flashed him a wry smile. “But it’s gotta be fast. There’s another football game in a few hours.”

“Enlightenment doesn’t have a schedule, you know.”

She grinned, and for the first time in a long while, he saw hope sparkle in her eyes. “I have faith in you.”

He didn’t answer. As a teacher, he knew he should remind her that her faith should be placed in herself, but Nathan couldn’t quite say the words. He liked her reliance on him. He wanted to be the one to show her the path to Truth. And so he opened his apartment door to her.

“I read your book,” she said as he locked the door behind her. “I tried the exercises, but…”

He waited, arching an eyebrow when she flushed and ducked her head.

“I’m not very flexible.”

No, she was strong and muscular. The renovations she had done on the building had given her a toned body sculpted for work, not femininity. And yet when he looked at her, her beauty still grabbed him deep in his gut.

“You will learn.” He shucked his jacket, then arranged a set of cushions on the floor. “Please sit. Tell me what you did and how it felt.”

She folded herself awkwardly onto the cushions, obviously self-conscious. “I…uh…I did the breast exercises. It felt…” She shrugged. “Useless. It wasn’t anything like what we did before. You know, in my kitchen.”

He remembered. He’d relived it a thousand times in his fantasies. “You felt nothing?”

“Nada.” She sighed. “I’m not even sure I believe in this stuff.”

He looked at her. Why was she so stubborn?

“I mean, I do,” she said in a rush. “Something sure as hell is wrong with me, but—”

“You are not wrong!” he snapped. “You have awakened as a woman. Why do you fight it?”

She reared back, stunned by his fury. Truthfully, he was a little startled himself. She bit her lip and looked down at her hands. “I’m sorry,” she finally said. “I haven’t even asked how your day was.”

He blinked, completely thrown. “I’m sorry?”

Tracy smiled, the curve of her mouth softening her face. “Let’s itemize our relationship so far, shall we? There was a wonderful couple months of almost conversations in the hallway. Then I accuse you of illegal activity and try to throw you out of my building. Then I come to a class, run out screaming, only to have you follow and give me the most fabulous night of my life.”

“I cannot claim credit for—”

“Don’t interrupt, Mr. Gao. Then I ignore you for over a week only to show up in the middle of the night, try to buy you, and now I’m stalking you.” She leaned forward. “Is this the usual path to enlightenment?”

He smiled. “Nothing with you is usual, Miss Williams.”