"Nothing's doing. I'm popping the solid-gold truth to you."

"Okay, well… how's that water feeling?"

"Excuse me?"

"The Nile warm this time of year?"

As V ignored the jab, he found himself focusing on Butch's lips. In a very quiet voice, he said, "You know… I totally wanted to have sex with you."

"I know." Butch's head twisted around, and their eyes met. "Past tense now, huh."

"Think so. Yeah."

Butch nodded toward the PT suite's open door. "Because of her."

"Maybe." V looked across the equipment room and caught sight of Jane as she rifled through a cabinet. His body's response as she bent at the waist was immediate, and he had to shift his hips to keep the head of his erection from being squeezed like an orange. As the pain ebbed, he thought about what he'd felt toward his roommate. "Have to say, I was surprised you were so cool with it. Thought it would creep you out or some shit."

"Can't help how you feel." Butch stared down at his hands, checking the nails. The clasp on his Piaget. The placement of his platinum cuff link. "Besides…"

"What?"

The cop shook his head. "Nothing."

"Say it."

"Nope." Butch stood up and stretched, his big body arching. "I'm going to head back to the Pit-"

"You wanted me. Maybe just a little."

Butch settled back on his spine, his arms falling to his sides, his head dropping into place. He frowned, his face crinkling up. "I'm not gay, though."

V dropped his jaw like a quarter and bobble-headed it. "No, really? That's such a shocker. I was sure all that I'm-a-good-Irish-Catholic-boy-from-Southie shit was a front."

Butch flipped the bird. "Whatever. And I'm down with homosexuals. Far as I'm concerned people should fuck whoever they want in whatever way gets them off as long as everyone involved is over eighteen and no one gets hurt. I just happen to dig the females."

"Relax. I'm only jerking you."

"You'd better be. You know I'm not a 'phobe."

"Yeah, I know."

"So are you?"

"A 'phobe?"

"Gay or bi."

As V exhaled, he wished it was because he had a cigarette between his lips, and on reflex he patted his pocket, comforted by the fact that he'd brought some handrolls with him.

"Look, V, I know you do females, but the way you do them is only the leather-and-wax road. Is it different between you and guys?"

V stroked his goatee with his gloved hand. He'd always felt like there was nothing he and Butch couldn't say to each other. But this… this was hard. Mostly because he didn't want anything to change between them and had always feared that if his sexual endeavors were discussed too openly it would get weird. Truth was, Butch was a hetero by nature, not just background. And if he'd felt a little something different here or there for V? It was an aberration that probably made him uncomfortable.

V rolled the Aquafina bottle between his palms. "How long have you wanted to ask me the question? About the gay thing."

"For a while."

"Afraid of what I'd say?"

"Nope, because it doesn't matter to me one way or the other. I'm tight with you whether you like males or females or both."

V looked into his best friend's eyes and realized… yeah, Butch wasn't going to judge him. They were cool no matter what.

With a curse, V rubbed the center of his chest and blinked. He never cried but he felt as if he could at this moment.

Butch nodded as if he knew exactly what was doing. "Like I said, my man, it's whatever. You and me? Same as always, no matter who you screw. Although… if you're into sheep, that would be tough. Don't know if I could handle that."

V had to smile. "I don't do farm animals."

"Can't stand hay in your leathers?"

"Or wool in my teeth."

"Ah." Butch looked back over. "So what's the answer, V?"

"What do you think it is?"

"I think you've done males."

"Yeah. I have."

"But I'm guessing…" Butch wagged his finger. "I'm guessing you don't like them any more than the females you Dom. Both sexes are irrelevant to you in the long run because you've never really cared about anyone. Except for me. And… your surgeon."

V dropped his eyes, hating that he was so transparent, but not really surprised by the thin-veil routine he was sporting. He and Butch were like that. No secrets. And in that vein… "I probably should tell you something, cop."

"What?"

"I raped a male once."

Man, you could have heard crickets chirping for the silence.

After a while Butch sank back down on the bench. "You did?"

"Back in the warrior camp, if you beat someone while sparring, you fucked them in front of the rest of the soldiers. And I won the first fight I was in after my transition. The male… I guess he'd consented in a way. I mean, he submitted, but it wasn't right. I… yeah, I didn't want to do it to him, but I didn't stop." V took out a cigarette from his pocket and stared down at the thin white roll. "It was right before I left the camp. Right before… other things happened to me."

"Was that your first time?"

V took out his lighter but didn't strik up a flame. "Helluva way to start, huh."

"Jesus…"

"Anyway, after I was out in the world for a while, I experimented with a lot of shit. I was really angry and… yeah, just totally pissed off." He looked over at Butch. "There's not much I haven't done, cop. And most of it's been hard-core, if you feel me. There's always been consent, but it was-it still is-on the rails." V laughed tightly. "As well as curiously forgettable."

Butch was quiet for a time. Then he said, "I think that's why I like Jane."

"Huh?"

"When you look at her? You actually see her, and when's the last time that's happened for you?"

V geared himself up, then stared hard into Butch's eyes. "I saw you. Even though it was wrong. I saw you."

Shit, he sounded sad. Sad and… lonely. Which made him want to change the subject.

Butch clapped V on the thigh, then stood up, as if he knew exactly what V was thinking. "Listen, I don't want you to feel bad. It's my animal magnetism. I'm irresistible."

"Smart-ass." V's smile didn't last long. "Don't get your romantic side fired up about me and Jane, buddy. She's human."

Butch's jaw dropped and he pulled a bobble. "No, really? That's such a shocker! And here I thought she was a sheep."

V shot Butch a fuck-ya stare. "She's not into me like that. Not really."

"You sure about that?"

"Yup."

"Huh. Well, if I were you I might test that theory before you let her go." Butch shoved a hand through his hair. "Listen, I… shit."

"What?"

"I'm glad you told me. About the sex stuff."

"None of it was a news flash."

"True. But I figure you came out with it because you trust my ass."

"I do. Now drag it back to the Pit. Marissa's got to be coming home soon."

"She is," Butch headed for the door but then paused and looked over his shoulder. "V?"

Vishous raised his stare. "Yeah?"

"I think you should know, after all this deep conversatin'…" Butch shook his head gravely. "We still ain't dating."

The two of them busted out laughing, and the cop was still yukking it up as he disappeared into the gym.

"What's so funny?" Jane asked.

V braced himself before looking at her, hoping like hell she didn't know how hard it was for him to front like he was level. "My buddy's just being an ass. It's his life's work."

"Everyone needs a purpose."

"True."

She sat down on the bench across the way, and his eyes ate her up like he'd been in the dark for ages and she was a candle.

"Are you going to need to feed again?" she asked.

"Doubt it. Why?"

"Your coloring is off."

Well, having your chest this tight will do that to a guy. "I'm good."

There was a long silence. Then she said, "I was worried in there."