A shiver went over her. She could easily believe that.
It would be so easy to let him prove those words.
But she couldn't. It would be wrong, and no matter what he said, it would bother her. And deep down, she suspected it bothered him, as well.
She leaned back ever so slightly and met his gaze. "Has it ever occurred to you that I don't want it?"
He looked shocked by her words. "How can that be?"
"I told you. The next time I get intimate with a man, I want more than just his necessary parts involved. I want his heart."
Julian stared hungrily at her lips. "I can assure you, you wouldn't miss it."
"Yes I would."
Flinching from her as if she'd slapped him, he straightened.
Grace knew she'd struck another nerve. Wanting to discover more about him, she turned to look up at him. "Why is it so important to you that I give in? Does something happen to you if I don't comply?"
He laughed bitterly. "As if anything could be worse."
"Then why can't you just enjoy your time here with me without any…"-she lowered her voice-"sex?"
His eyes flared. "Enjoy what? Enjoy getting to know people whose faces will haunt me for eternity? Do you think I enjoy looking around here knowing that in a few days I'll be pulled back into a blank, empty hole where I can hear, but I can't see, can't taste, feel, or smell, where my stomach churns constantly from hunger and my throat burns with an unquenchable thirst? You are the only thing I'm permitted to enjoy. And you would deny me that."
Tears pricked the backs of her eyes at his words. She didn't want to hurt him. Truly, she didn't.
But it had been a very similar ploy for sympathy that Paul had used to get her into bed, and that event had torn her heart out.
After the death of her parents, Paul had claimed to care about her. He had been there to comfort her and hold her. And then when she had finally trusted him with her body, he had hurt her so badly, so cruelly, that even now it cut her all the way to her soul.
"I am so sorry, Julian. Really, I am. But I can't do this." She left the escalator and headed back through the mall.
"Why?" Julian asked as he and Selena caught up to her.
How could she explain it to him? Paul had hurt her so badly that night. He had had no regard for her feelings. She had begged him to stop but he had persisted.
"Look, it's supposed to hurt the first time." Paul had said. "Jeez, just stop crying. I'll be finished in a minute and then you can leave."
By the time he was finished, she was so humiliated and hurt that she had cried for days.
"Grace?" Julian's voice broke through her whirling thoughts. "What is it?"
It took all her strength to hold her tears back. But she wouldn't cry. Not out in public. Not like this. She would not be pitied.
"It's nothing," she said.
Needing a breath of fresh air, even if it was hotter and thicker than steam, she headed out the side door of the Brewery toward the Moonwalk.
Julian and Selena followed.
"Grace, what made you cry?" Julian asked.
"It's Paul," she heard Selena whisper to Julian.
Grace glared at Selena as she forced herself to calm down. Drawing a ragged breath, she turned back to Julian. "I wish I could just fling myself into bed with you, but I can't. I don't want to be used that way, and I don't want to use you! Can't you understand that?"
His jaw tense, he looked away.
Grace followed his gaze and saw a group of six rough-looking bikers headed in their direction. Their leather outfits had to be stifling in the heat, but they didn't seem to notice as they ribbed each other and laughed.
It was then Grace saw the woman with them. A woman whose slow, seductive walk was the female equivalent to Julian's graceful, loose-limbed saunter. The woman also possessed the kind of rare beauty that would best any actress or model.
Tall and blond, the woman wore a skimpy leather halter and tight short-shorts that hugged a figure Grace would kill to possess.
And the woman was slowing down, falling behind the men as she slid her black sunglasses down the bridge of her nose to stare straight at Julian.
Inwardly, Grace cringed.
Oh, good Lord, this could get ugly fast. None of the scruffy, tough-as-nails bikers looked like the type who would tolerate their girlfriend looking at another guy. And the last thing she wanted was a fight on the Moonwalk.
Grace grabbed Julian's hand to pull him in the other direction.
He refused to move.
"C'mon, Julian," she said urgently. "We need to get back inside."
Still, he didn't budge.
He glared at the bikers as if he wanted to kill them. Then, before she could blink, he shrugged off her hold, and rushed forward. He grabbed one of the men by his shirt.
Dumbfounded, Grace watched as Julian punched the man in the jaw.
Chapter 6
"You worthless piece of…" Julian let out a string of curses that would make a sailor blush.
Grace's eyes widened. She didn't know what startled her most, Julian assaulting the unknown biker or the language he used.
As he pummeled the biker, the man fought back, but his fighting skills were nowhere near Julian's.
Forgetting Selena, Grace ran toward them, her heart hammering as she tried to think of what she should do. There was no way she could get between the two men. Not at the rate they were trying to kill each other.
"Julian, stop it before you hurt him!" the biker woman cried.
Grace froze at the words.
How did she know Julian's name?
The woman danced around as if trying to help the biker thwart Julian. "Honey, watch out, he's going to… ouch, that had to hurt!" The woman cringed in sympathetic pain after Julian hit the biker in the nose. "Julian, stop hitting him like that! You're going to make his nose swell. Ew, baby, duck!"
The biker didn't duck, and Julian caught him one hard blow to the chin that made him stagger backward.
Totally befuddled, Grace looked back and forth between the woman and Julian.
How could they possibly know each other?
"Eros, baby. No!" the woman shouted again, waving her hands around her face like a bird about to take flight.
Selena moved to stand beside Grace.
"Is that the Eros Julian was trying to summon?" Grace asked.
Selena shrugged. "Maybe, but I never thought of Cupid as a biker."
"Where's Priapus?" Julian demanded as he grabbed Eros and forced him back against the wooden railing above the water.
"I don't know," Eros said as he struggled to loosen Julian's two hands from his black T-shirt.
"Don't you dare lie to me," Julian growled.
"I don't know!"
Julian tightened his grip as two thousand years of pain and rage swept through him. His hands shook while he held Eros in his fists. But worse than his desire to kill was the unrelenting questions that screamed through him.
Why had no one ever answered his summons before?
Why had Eros betrayed him?
And how could they have done this to him, then walk away and leave him to suffer?
"Where is he?" Julian asked again.
"Eating, belching, hell, I don't know. I haven't seen him in forever and a day."
Julian pulled Eros away from the railing. All the wrath of hell was branded into his face as he released him.
"I have to find him," Julian said between clenched teeth. "Now."
A muscle in Eros's jaw twitched as he brushed his hands down the front of his T-shirt to straighten it. "Well, shaking the shit out of me isn't going to get his attention."
"Then maybe killing you will." Julian reached for him again.
Suddenly, the other bikers started for Julian.
As the men closed in, Eros ducked Julian's blow and whirled to stop his friends.
"Leave him alone, guys," Eros said, grabbing the one closest to him by the arms and pushing him backward. "You don't want to fight him. Trust me. He could rip your heart out and feed it to you before you hit the ground dead."