And love. She finally understood how it could be so important. All her life she had seen her parents' marriage and her mother would tell them all, when she was pissed out of her brains, how she loved her husband and that they were married in the eyes of God. But she had always believed that God would not be interested in them, that they were beneath his notice. Now though she wasn't so sure. She knew that, if she married Terry Baker in a Catholic church, she would be like her mother. Nothing would ever make her leave him.

Just as she was starting to wonder if she had been stood up, Terry breezed into the pub all testosterone and expensive aftershave. One glimpse of his killer smile, and she was finished.

Jackie was trying to get up some enthusiasm for her daughter's wedding, but it was hard. Rox kept going over the same things, and she felt like screaming at her to get to the fucking point. But she didn't. Instead, she watched as Maggie discussed everything in minute detail and marvelled at how her little sister could even be interested.

Rox really had no idea about life. Anyone in their right mind, seeing Jackie's marriage to Freddie, would run a fucking mile. Not her girls though. They thought it was all going to be wine and roses like Maggie's and Jimmy's.

What really pissed her off, though, was that thanks to Maggie she would have to get gussied up and go to the fucking wedding whether she liked it or not. She did want to see her daughter wed, but it was her Little Freddie she was worried about. Rox had banned him, said that no kids were allowed, even her brother. She meant, of course, especially her brother.

They were a crowd of treacherous bitches. She had given birth to a crowd of bastards, even Kimberley. The little mare never even popped her head around the door to see how any of them were. If it wasn't for Rox and Maggie, she wouldn't know anything about her at all. When she had rung, all she had talked about was her rehab, and her new life.

What was that all about?

Now Rox was nearly off her hands, and Dianna was going to fly the nest, she was sure of that. So for the first time in years, her life would be her own.

She was relishing the prospect of being alone with her son. Little Freddie was like his dad and if she couldn't have him full time, then she was determined to have the next best thing. No matter what they said about him, she was his mother and she knew him better than anyone. Once the girls left home, she would devote all her time to him, that was what he needed, someone to dedicate their life to him.

Freddie Senior was trying to help him, and so would she. Together they could make him into a regular, happy boy.

Freddie was drunk, really drunk, and he was still reeling from the events from earlier in the day. Jimmy was with him but he knew that was only because he felt he needed to be there, not because he wanted to be there. This was their public show of strength, their way of clearing the air, not only with each other but with the people they dealt with on a daily basis. This was an exercise in damage limitation, and it was also a way for Jimmy to tell him he was forgiven, and that he was still a part of it all.

Like he gave a fuck now. He held all the fucking cards, and he could destroy Jimmy in an instant.

Freddie was very drunk, but he was also aware that he must not, at any time, say anything that might bring the wrath of this young man down on his head. After all these years he was finally having to admit to himself that Jimmy had it all sewn up. But for all Jimmy's being the big man, he knew something Jimmy didn't.

The thought made him smile now. If Jimmy knew, there would be fucking ructions, and those ructions would reverberate down the years. Freddie felt much better reminding himself of just how much trouble he was capable of causing if the fancy took him.

It was very tempting, so tempting. But he wouldn't. Not tonight. This was something to be kept on ice until a future date. He needed to have this secret inside him, because just knowing he had something that could blast Jimmy's world apart was making it all so much easier to cope with.

Worst of all, although Jimmy was playing fair, for once in his life, he had let Jimmy down for all the right reasons. He had stood him up, because of his son, not because he didn't want to or couldn't be bothered.

But he knew it was not the time to tell Jimmy about his boy. He was sorry that he had not let him be taken, but he knew Jackie would die if her son was charged with something like that and, truth be told, so would he.

He had been worried, though, because at one point he had not believed that he could smooth this one over. He had not intended to smooth it over, but blood will out, as Jimmy had proved to him today.

'Come on, Freddie, let's have another drink, eh?' Jimmy was so happy, so boring, and so fucking smug, he wanted to smash the nearest pint pot into his handsome fucking face. Instead he smiled back and said happily, 'I'll get this one, Jim. It's my round, mate.'

'Go home will you, please.'

Little Freddie smiled at his nana with all the charm of his father, but Maddie wasn't fooled.

'I just want to talk to you, Nana. I want you to tell me about me granddad that's all.'

Maddie looked at the boy she had adored as a baby, but who she had quickly realised was not quite right. He was like her Freddie, like his father, and whereas once that would have been the icing on her cake, now she saw it as a fault. Saw this child as an accident waiting to happen. His father had been the light of her life, but not any more. She knew too much about him and one day she would tell him.

Until then, she would try to make life bearable for herself and most of the people around her, but this boy, this big handsome child, frightened her. He was just like her Freddie at the same age and she had cosseted him just as Jackie had cosseted this one. She had seen in her Freddie something that had never been there. She had invented her son, had built him up in her head, made him into the person she had wanted him to be. Now she had to pay for that.

'Please, Nana, let me stay a while.'

She saw the way he looked at her. He would fool a lot of people one day, and now he was playing her, using his good looks to get what he wanted.

'Go home, I said.'

'Please, Nana. I just want to sit with you that's all.'

'I want you to go.'

Her words were said with a finality that alerted Freddie to the fact he would get nothing from her. He was in a bind, he was being watched like a hawk and this old cow could have been a bit of light relief, and he was interested in his granddad. He wanted to hear about his suicide, wanted to hear about his life and his reputation for fighting. He had heard it all second-hand from other people, but she was the horse's mouth. She could tell him everything he wanted to know.

'Will you go, child, and leave me in peace.'

He punched her in the chest then, as his temper got the better of him. 'You fucking old bitch, you're an old woman, who would fucking want to sit with you anyway?'

She sighed, and said, without raising her voice, 'Go, and leave me alone, or I will ring my son.'

He finally left her then. The threat of his father had done the trick, and she bolted her door behind him.

Lena and Joe laughed at the antics of little Jimmy. Maggie had dropped him off earlier because she had a late night at her Leigh-on-Sea salon.

Lena loved this child, they all did, because he was such a dear little thing.

'Oh, Joe, I was so worried about my girl. Now when I watch her with him I feel like I have won the lottery.'