Chapter Thirty

Little Freddie was at school and the novelty of being the perfect child was starting to wear off, but he knew that to keep on his father's good side he needed to act the dutiful son. As he looked around him at the classroom and at his classmates, he wondered how people didn't die of absolute boredom.

He was aware, though, that if he didn't keep this façade up he would be put away somewhere. His father had been on the verge of it, he knew, and Little Freddie had been reduced to giving him a load of fanny about it all just being a game that had got out of hand. Neither of them believed it but it was there, out in the open, for his father to use for his own benefit.

The annoying thing was, he was fed up with this act. It was wearing, being nice all the time.

He imagined the people around him in his power, imagined them in his complete control. They were all marks to him, nothing more, with their please and thank yous, and their fucking politeness. He was forceful enough to get them where he wanted them, he liked to manipulate people, liked his rep as a bad boy.

The fear of real violence could do that just as well, his father had taught him that much. He liked to remember things when he was alone, and he liked to fantasise about people around him.

He looked in the mirror every day and saw himself, and he knew that he was a handsome boy. Tall for his age, he had his father's looks and his father's build, though his dad was starting to run to fat. Young Freddie saw himself as apart from everyone else. He had friends but they were his friends, he wasn't theirs. He ruled them, they were wary of him, and his father's reputation got him an out on a daily basis.

He felt nothing, and when his friend's mother had died of cancer a few weeks earlier he had not understood the boy's crushing grief.

She was dead. Crying wouldn't bring her back. What on earth was the problem? She was a miserable old bitch anyway, always fucking carping on, silly cow.

Yet, as young as he was, he had already sussed out that he had to at least emulate the emotions of other people, and luckily for him soap operas filled this gap in his education. In fact, they were fountains of wisdom as far as he was concerned.

He knew how to act out emotion now and thanks to EastEnders he was happy in the knowledge that in East London you fought and argued to get what you wanted.

Little Freddie also knew that he got away with murder because of his looks. Beautiful people were treated better in the world than the ugly bastards were. His father had always said that, and it was true.

'Go home, Jackie, and don't come back here any more.'

Jackie was completely hysterical and the mother in Lena wanted to go to her, try to comfort her, but her husband had for the first time in years put his foot down.

'If you let her in, I will fucking walk out of this house, and I swear on that poor child's grave that I will never come back, and that is fucking swearing to it. I am sick to death of Jackie and her fucking problems.'

Lena knew he meant what he said, because now he was ranting and raging all over the small flat. Lena and Maddie shrugged at one another like conspirators.

'I am fucking sick and tired of her and that fucking boy of hers, that mad bastard she bred. When she was carrying him she was either pissed out of her brains or drugged up to the eyebrows. She lost one because of her fucking drinking and drugging and I wish the same had happened with him, because he ain't all the fucking ticket. I don't want him near or by me or mine, and the same goes for that fucking muppet she saddled herself with. Freddie Jackson is another fucking awkward ponce. Jimmy is outing him anyway, he gets the bad news today, and if you ask me not before fucking time.'

He looked at his wife as he said through gritted teeth, 'It's a serious out and all, Lena. There ain't been one like this since the fucking Krays walked the pavements. Freddie will be a fucking outcast, he will be like a fucking leper, and consequently it means that he won't be welcome anywhere. Any mates have to either blank him or lose their own livelihoods. That cunt is all but finished, and not before fucking time, I say.'

Lena had never seen him so angry before, and in his day he had given her more than her fair share of rows, black eyes and fat lips. But they had been passionate fights, at least that is how she remembered them now. Not as the vicious hidings they had really been from a man who was taking out on her his own guilt because he had pissed up every penny they had on some old sort he had picked up in a pub. Those had been the days, of course, when all women got a clump off the old man, especially if they nagged, and Lena was the first to admit that she could nag expertly and for hours at a time if the fancy took her.

Nowadays she would not take that off anyone, let alone a man, though in the past she had expected a shiner or two, like her mother before her. They had been stupid enough to think that a jealous man loved them, that a man in drink was not responsible for his actions. And that they, the women concerned, were somehow lacking, or the men would have come home on time.

But this hate-filled ranting was new, she had never seen Joe like it before. And if Freddie had the serious out, that meant her daughter would have to pack up and move away. There was no other choice, they would be social outcasts, and even family would be wary of seeing them. There may not have been an out like this since the sixties, but it would still be enforced. It was the criminal equivalent to being put away, except in nick you could have visits. Her daughter would be gone from her and she felt awful because the news made her feel relieved, and that was wrong. But she was so sick of all the trouble that came with Jackie and she was getting too old for it.

Joseph started raging once more, and Lena could see the absolute hatred he felt for his son-in-law in his wrinkled-up face.

'That big vicious ponce Freddie Jackson, thinking he can do what he likes to whoever he fucking likes, and that fat bitch out there who was demented enough to go and get married to him, shouting about rape. This shower of shite are all fucking barred now, the out is already in force as far as I am concerned. They will not cross this bastard, poxy, fucking doorstep and he can come round here with a fucking army-surplus flame-thrower and I will still tell him to get fucked!'

He was spitting in anger and Lena knew that he had something terrible on his mind. She had assumed it was the poor little fellow's death but now she wondered what he knew. If Jimmy boy had confided in him, what trouble was going to come to their door? She was worried herself now, and, putting on the kettle, she decided to make a cup of tea, not that she wanted one particularly, but for something to do.

Jackie's crying was going through her head and she assumed rightly that it was also going through her neighbours' heads. What she had to put up with from that girl and her husband was no bloody joke. She was now looking forward to the out, although she wouldn't admit that, of course.

She closed her eyes in shame as she heard Mrs Faraday, a very clean-living Protestant with a blue rinse and varicose veins, who resided on the ground floor, shouting up to her daughter.

'I am phoning the police, this is an absolute disgrace. You're drunk, woman, now go home and leave your poor mother in peace.'

Lena hated Mrs Faraday with her bloody cardigans and the annoying way she had of looking down her nose at people because they were Catholics, Irish, a mixture of both or Scottish. She liked the Welsh, apparently, and Lena gathered this was because they went to the correct church. That said, a Jehovah's Witness never knocked on another door in the block once they had experienced Mrs Faraday, and in that respect she could be very handy.