So she wasn't going to pick it apart or second-guess it. She was just going to keep enjoying it for as long as it lasted.
She undressed, thinking how wonderful a shower would feel after a day on the water. When her phone rang, she half-expected it would be Duncan, calling her minutes after he left to tell her something to make her laugh.
The display on the Caller ID had her stomach sinking. "Hello, Roy." Less than ten minutes later she was stalking downstairs and grabbing a half gallon of cookie dough ice cream from the freezer.
Essie walked in as Phoebe scooped it straight out of the carton and into her mouth. "Oh! You had a fight with Duncan."
"I didn't have a fight with Duncan. I didn't have a fight with anyone. I wanted some damn ice cream."
"Mind that tone," Essie warned with steel in her voice. "You only eat ice cream that way when you're upset. Duncan's barely out the door, so-"
"I said I didn't have a fight with Duncan. Duncan's not the center of my universe. I don't make men the center of my universe and I'm not about to…" She heard herself, could nearly see the nasty edge to the words slicing out like little shards of broken glass.
"I'm sorry. I am upset." She dropped down at the table, dug out more ice cream. "I haven't got enough of this in me yet to calm down or get good and sick, and not take it out on someone else."
Essie walked to the drawer, got out another spoon. She sat, spooned some ice cream out of the carton for herself. "What happened?"
"Roy called. He's getting married again."
"Oh." Essie took a second, bigger spoonful. "To anyone we know? So we know where to send our condolences?"
"Thanks, Mama. He's getting married to someone named Mizzy. Can you believe that? She's twenty-four."
"A bimbo, no doubt about it. Poor thing."
"The bimbo comes from money, and they're moving to Cannes, or maybe it was Marseilles. My ears started ringing by that point. Her family has interests there he's going to help run. And he tells me all this as he doesn't want my panties in a twist if the next couple child support checks are a bit late. Due to changing his location and banking and so on."
"He's always been timely with that anyway."
"Yes, because it's an automatic withdrawal from his account, so he doesn't even have to think of it. Of her." It wasn't rage anymore in her voice, on her face. It was grief. "He never even asked about her, Mama. He never asked how she was, never thought to suggest he might tell his daughter himself, or invite her to the wedding."
"She wouldn't go. And, baby girl, you wouldn't like it if she did."
"That's beside the point. It is. And I know I'm getting upset over something that isn't any different than it was, really. Except the son of a bitch is marrying someone almost ten years younger than me, named Mizzy, and his daughter isn't even an afterthought."
"What was it my grandmother used to say? A skunk doesn't change its stink. It's a little crude, but it fits. His life's about as deep as a puddle of spit-and that's crude, too. She won't care, Phoebe. Roy isn't so much as a bump against Carly's heart. You shouldn't let him be one against yours."
"You're right. I know you're right. She never had enough of him to miss any of it."
"But you did."
"I had the illusion." Phoebe scraped more ice cream from carton to spoon, studied it. Ate it. "Maybe that's worse. He can't help being what he is. Even if what he is is a goddamn skunk. Thanks."
Roy wasn't worth even her anger, Phoebe told herself as she went upstairs to shower. But the phone call had reminded her why romance was a slippery slope. Better, much better, to keep it all up front, keep it all simple. So no one got hurt.
It might be time to slow things down just a little with Duncan.
She'd already made another date with him while the dream of the day had been on her. But that was fine. She'd just explain to him that she wasn't looking for anything more than friendship, companionship and sex.
What man could argue with that?
Chapter 19
By her request, Phoebe received notification when Charles Johnson's body was cleared for release. Noting the information, she contacted the funeral home regarding viewings.
Controversy and public debate aside, she needed to pay her respects. She could do so discreetly, and briefly. It meant canceling her date with Duncan, but that might be for the best.
A little cooling-off time there, she decided. A little stop-and-thinkitthrough.
She made the call, and though it was cowardly, felt a trickle of relief when she got his voice mail.
"Duncan, it's Phoebe. I have to cancel tonight, sorry. Something came… " Not fair, she reminded herself. He'd done nothing to deserve the "something came up" brush-off. "Actually, they're holding a viewing for Charlie Johnson tonight, and I need to go. So I'll need a rain check. We'll talk later, all right? I'm just about on my way to a meeting."
Ass-covering was de rigueur, and Phoebe couldn't fault the department for going into circle-the-wagon mode. Or, she supposed, for looking for a reasonable scapegoat. She was fully prepared to defend her own actions and methods, if and when. She sat through the meeting with the crisis team, the chief and the representatives from IAB.
Questions were asked and answered. Her log was displayed, the situation tape replayed. She listened to her voice, to Commander Harrison's, to Charlie's and Opal's, to the relays between her or the second negotiator and command, from command to members of the tactical team.
"Lieutenant MacNamara clearly related the information that the
HT agreed to surrender, was coming out unarmed. That information was received and acknowledged." The chief lifted his hands. "There was no breakdown in communications. The tactical commander did not give the go, and the shots were not fired by any authorized member of the department."
He paused. "The shots were fired from a weapon-recovered-not issued to any member of the crisis team, from a position where no member of said team was posted. Known members of the rival gang live in the building from where the shots issued, other known or suspected members reside inside the perimeter set during the crisis. These are facts. But there's another. The perimeter was breached. And from that fact come more questions. Who and how and when? The breech opens the department up to criticism and speculation, and potentially to civil suits."
"The who is being investigated," Harrison began. He was a toughlooking man of considerable presence, with a deep basso designed for giving orders. "Every known gang member of the Lords and the Posse is being interrogated. It's a long process, sir."
"The how?" The chief looked directly at the tactical commander. "The building was cleared in a floor-by-floor sweep." Harrison got to his feet, stepped over to the diagram. "A three-man team entered the building here. Civilians were evacuated and moved outside the barricades. While this location wasn't optimum for coverage of the hostage scene, members were posted on the roof and at this third-floor post. Other members were posted in the building directly south, as this location afforded the best visual of the liquor store from the front. Others were posted here, to cover the back. Here, the sides.
"Each building was cleared, or thought to be cleared, and the perimeters set and posted. There were disturbances here and here during the negotiations. Heckling and threats from some onlookers. And here, a physical altercation between local residents."
He straightened stiffly as he turned. "It's possible that someone slipped through during the incendiary first stage. More likely, in my opinion, someone already inside the building slipped into the vacated apartment and set up his sniper's nest. The team's objective was to get civilians to safety quickly. It's not possible in these circumstances to spread the team thin enough to check every closet, under every bed. If someone was determined to evade detection, they could and would."