"Let me sort this out. In your opinion, I'm irresponsible and unreliable."
"No. No." She let out a sigh as the leading edge of her temper dulled down to the core of worry. "You're casual, Duncan, and it's part of your appeal. You can afford to be casual, and not just because of the money. No one depends on you, so you can do what you like, come and go as you please."
"Is that casual or careless?"
"I say what I mean, and I said casual. I don't think you're careless. But my mother's fragile, and-"
"Your mother's amazing. You know, I told her once she ought to give herself a break, but the fact is, you ought to give her one. Do you think because she can't go out of that house, she's less than amazing?"
"No. Damn it, no." Because the conversation, such as it was, had gotten out of her hands, Phoebe dragged them through her hair and tried to get back to center. "But she does. She's been hurt and pushed and shoved into the corner so many times."
"I'm not going to do any of those things to Essie."
"Not on purpose. I don't mean that. But what if, for whatever reason, you don't buy that house, then-"
"I bought it today."
That stopped her. That put a hitch in her stride, Duncan thought.
He said nothing more, just picked up his beer, watched her as he tipped back the bottle.
"All right, you bought the house. But what if you find it isn't cost effective to fix it up? Or what if-"
"Jesus. What if the voices tell me to put on fairy wings and fly to
Cuba? You can 'what if till next Tuesday; it doesn't mean a damn. I finish what I start, goddamn it. I'm not stupid."
"You're not stupid. I never said or meant you were." But someone had, someone that mattered. "It's just that this all came out of the blue, and for my mother it's huge. I'm trying to point out the variables, and I'm trying to understand why you'd involve her in this. I can't understand what you're doing. I can't understand what you want. From her.
From me."
"Tied those two together," he muttered, and pushed to his feet. "Must want something from you, so I use her. Let's answer this first. You want to know what I want from you?"
"Yes. Let's start there."
He grabbed her before the last word was all the way out. The hell with biding time. He was too pissed off to bide anything. He had his mouth on hers, showing her what he wanted, taking what he wanted with an impatient anger he rarely let free.
Hunger pushed and shoved at temper until his mouth ravaged hers.
Her back pressed back against the porch column, and her hands were trapped between his body and hers. Every muscle in her body quivered. But not in protest, not in fear. There was a difference between fear and thrill, and she understood it now.
When he broke off, there was such heat in his eyes.
"You got that now?" he demanded. "We're clear on that point?"
"Yes."
"Then-"
It was her move now. All hers. Her hands were free so she hooked one arm around his neck, yanked his mouth back to hers. She would have chained her arms around him if her injured shoulder had allowed. When he pressed her against the column again, she nipped at his lip, rocked her hips against his.
She let the pleasure flood her after months and months of sexual drought. The feel of his hands on her breasts, the feel of the night air on her skin when his busy fingers undid her shirt, unhooked her bra. The glorious sensation that rolled through her and escaped on a purring moan.
She went wet and needy, arching to his hands and his mouth, quivering, quivering when he tugged at the button of her waistband.
Here, standing right here, she wanted to be taken without thought, without care, without boundaries. Desperate, she reached for him. And the shock of pain in her shoulder had her crying out.
He jerked back as if she'd punched him. "Christ. Christ."
"It's all right. I moved wrong, that's all. Don't-"
But he held up a hand, turned away. He paced up, he paced down. Stopped and took a long, long gulp of his warming beer.
"You're hurt. You're still hurt. Jesus." And, setting the beer down again, he scrubbed his hands over his face.
"It's not that bad. Really."
"You're still hurt. And I'm not going to bang you against the post like… Okay, okay, another minute here."
He paced up and down again. "You pissed me off. No real excuse but I'm taking it."
"No excuses necessary as it was obviously mutual."
"Regardless. Anyway, that should answer the question, which I'm still trying to exactly remember as all the blood's drained out of my head. The second had to do with…" He'd turned to face her again, and just stared.
She stood, leaning back against the post, shirt open, hair tumbled, cheeks flushed.
"Wow. Seriously. Hold on," he said when she glanced down, then began to button up. "Would you not do that for just another minute. Maybe two? Since I'm not allowed to touch, it seems only fair I be able to look. You've got this really terrific body. It's all just… just exactly right. And the way you're standing there, and this light, and…
Okay, yeah, you better close up shop there. That's about all I can handle."
"You're a strange man, Duncan."
"I've heard that. I want you, and it's keeping me up at night. I don't mind that so much, even though I like to sleep. But some things rate insomnia. You're one of them."
"Thank you. I think."
"But to get back to the rest. I think the point's just been made that I don't need to use Essie to get to you. And you know what? You should think more of her than that. More of me, too, and more of yourself."
"You're right. You're absolutely right, and I'm absolutely wrong. I hate that. My excuse, since we're using them, is I love her so much."
"I get that. You're lucky to have her."
Phoebe raked a hand through her hair. He meant that, exactly that, she realized. He saw her mother, and saw the value of the woman she was. "I know it. People, a lot of people, look at the situation and think she's some sort of burden. You don't. And I'm sorry for the way I handled this."
"I would be, too, except I got my hands on your breasts." She laughed. "Want that beer now?"
"Better not, I'm driving. Duncan, please don't take this the wrong way. I see the bars-you tended bar. And I could see if you bought a cab company, or a car service or some such thing. Maybe you have, I don't know, and that's part of it. I don't know how you do this sort of thing. And I don't know what you could possibly know about running a retail craft boutique."
"We'll find out, plus I wouldn't actually be running it. I've got somebody in mind for that. And you're thinking, hell, he can afford to lose a couple hundred thousand here or there."
"No, actually, I was thinking you'll probably find a way to make it work. I'm thinking I was scared because I came home to find my mother happy, bubbling with it."
"She was happy when she started with Reuben."
Now Phoebe pressed her fingers to her eyes. "Obviously I didn't connect those dots for myself before I came haring out here and laid into you."
"Hair trigger," he said, without heat.
"About some things, obviously. Now that I've connected those dots-or you have for me-I'm thinking if you hadn't had this idea I can't understand, exactly, my mother wouldn't have a chance to try something exciting."
"I wouldn't have made the offer if I didn't believe I could sell the sheer hell out of her work."
"Which, if I hadn't flown off, I'd have come around to on my own rather than driving out here to jump all over you. Which I don't regret because you got to get your hands on my breasts."
He smiled slowly. "How long before they think you'll be a hundred percent?"
She reached up with her good arm to touch his hair. She liked how it always looked as if he'd just taken a wild ride in that fancy car of his. "I'll get a note from my private duty nurse clearing me for physical activity."