"That's what embezzlers always say, Bern. They were planning to give the money back. Somehow they never get around to it."

"Well, I fully intend to give this one back," I said. "Cars are a pain in the neck in the city. Where would I park it? It costs a fortune to garage them, and if you park them on the street-"

"People 'borrow' them," she said, "and take them to chop shops."

"You know," I said, "you're sounding less and less like a henchperson, and more and more like Ray Kirschmann."

"That may be the nastiest thing you ever said to me," she said, "but I think maybe you're right. I'm sorry, Bern. I got a little confused. I wasn't sure you were coming."

"I said I was."

"I know, but what with everything that happened today I thought you might change your mind. That fat guy getting shot right in front of you."

"Riverdale's miles away."

"I know, but-"

"And I need the money."

I also needed the psychological lift of winning one for a change. I'd started off hiding under the bed, and things had gone downhill from there. Since then I'd been hassled by the cops, burgled by brutes, and given a supporting role in a drive-by homicide. It was time for me to make something happen instead of waiting to see what happened next. Maybe I couldn't bomb Iraq, but I could damn well burgle Mapes, and I wouldn't even have to wait to find out what the premier of France thought of it.

"Wait here," Carolyn said. "I'll just be a minute. Don't you dare go without me."

I got on the West Side Drive. The Sable rode well and handled nicely, and the traffic was almost light enough for Cruise Control, but not quite. I caught a light at 57th Street and glanced over at Carolyn. "I gather she didn't stand you up," I said.

"Not at all, Bern. What I did do is sit up."

"Sit up?"

"And take notice. I got there first, but only by a minute or two. I walked right into the lobby of the Algonquin, just like Dorothy Parker and Robert Benchley before me."

"And Alexander Woollcott, and George S. Kaufman…"

"And all those guys, right. So I took a table in the lobby, and this waiter straight out of a London men's club came over and asked me what I wanted to drink, and I didn't know."

"That's a first."

"Well, there's a bar off the lobby, where you'd go for a drink, and there's the lobby, where people meet for tea. Now most of the people having tea were actually having it in martini glasses. Tea's more or less an expression there. But what if she really intended to have tea, and there I am, looking like a drunk?"

"Didn't your Date-a-Dyke ad say you love scotch?"

"I know, but I wasn't sure I should love it on the first date. You know what they say, Bern. You never get a second chance to make a good first impression."

"Is that what they say?"

"I think so. While I was weighing the pros and consequences, this woman walked in the door and made a beeline for my table. She didn't even take a minute to scan the room. She zoomed right in on me and came over."

"She was just passing by, and thought you'd be the perfect person for a serious talk about Amway products."

"It was GurlyGurl, Bern."

"And did she live up to her screen name?"

"She's pretty great looking. Taller than I am, but who do you know that isn't? Dark hair, real nice figure, peaches and cream complexion, big gray eyes-"

"Gray?"

"She said they used to be blue, but the color faded out of them. Have you ever heard of that happening?"

"With hair."

"I guess it can happen with eyes, too, and Miss Clairol's no help if it does. She'd just come from work, and she said she hoped I hadn't been waiting long, and I said I just got there myself, I hadn't even ordered yet, and she said…"

Di dah di dah di dah. She fed me the conversation word for word, and a court reporter couldn't have done a better job of it. I stopped listening, because I was caught up in the physical description.

Hair, figure, complexion, eyes-granted, it could fit any number of women, but I'd had the feeling for a while now that there was a great big coincidence hovering just out of sight, waiting patiently for the chance to coincide.

I tuned in again, and she was telling how they'd ordered drinks after all. "She asked what I wanted, and I said I'd probably have a cup of tea, and she said she thought I liked scotch, and I said I did, but tea's nice sometimes, and she said she's a big tea drinker herself, but after the week she'd just had scotch would sure hit the spot, and I said in that case I didn't figure one drink would hurt me. Because I know you don't drink before a job, Bern, and I shouldn't either, but it would be different if I was going into the house. I'm not, am I?"

"No, I'm on my own for that part."

"That's what I thought, so I figured one drink would be fine."

"So you had a drink."

"Well, two."

"I thought you just said-"

" Bern, who has one drink? It's like one pant or one scissor. They come in pairs. Nobody has just one drink."

"Somebody must," I said, "or where would the expression come from? 'I think I'll have a drink.'A drink. Not two drinks, not six drinks, not ten drinks. 'I think I'll have a drink.' People say it all the time."

"Uh-huh, and then they say 'I think I'll have another.'A drink is just the stepping-off point. Anyway, we had two each, and I ate a whole dish of mixed nuts to soak up the alcohol, and I'm fine."

"You seem okay."

"That's because I am okay. And I'm not driving, so I don't have to worry about a Breathalyzer test, and I'm not going into the house, so what's the problem?"

"I don't think there is any. I gather the two of you hit it off."

"I like her, Bern. And I think she likes me."

"You made a good impression."

"And a good thing, because that's something you only get one crack at."

"Where does she live?"

" Manhattan. Hey, I knew that going in. I didn't want to meet her and be crazy about her and then discover she's GU."

"Geographically undesirable. It's a curse, all right. I met a girl once and we hit it off, and she wouldn't tell me where she lived. She'd always meet me places, or come over to my place."

" Brooklyn?"

"Way the hell out in Queens," I said. "You had to take the subway for days, and then you took a bus, and then you walked ten blocks. That was the end of that."

"But if she was willing to come into the city all the time-"

"When they're that GU," I said, "you wind up under all this pressure to live together, because otherwise one person's spending half their life in transit. I figured it would save a whole lot of aggravation to break up."

"Wow."

"Besides," I said, "she had this whiny voice, and I thought I could get used to it, and then one day I realized I didn't want to get used to it. In fact what I didn't want was to hear it long enough to get used to it." I took the cell phone from my pocket, put through a call to the number I'd programmed in earlier. "So that was that," I said, while the phone rang in the house on Devonshire Close. It rang four times before a machine picked up, and I listened to what I supposed was the recorded voice of Crandall Rountree Mapes, inviting me to leave a message. I hung up in mid-invitation.

"Well, GG's not GU," Carolyn said.