I looked at both sides she’d presented, trying to be rational about it.

So… quick, but we have to do our best not to die?

Go down fighting, she affirmed grimly.

Fighting. Fabulous. I tried to imagine that-meeting violence with violence. Raising my hand to strike someone. I could form the words but not the mental picture.

You can do it, she encouraged. I’ll help you.

Thanks, but no thanks. There has to be some other way.

I don’t get you, Wanda. You’ve given up on your species entirely, you’re ready to die for my brother, you’re in love with the man I love who is going to kill us, and yet you won’t let go of customs that are entirely impractical here.

I am who I am, Mel. I can’t change that, though everything else may change. You hold on to yourself; allow me to do the same.

But if we’re going to -

She would have continued to argue with me, but we were interrupted. A scuffing sound, shoe against rock, echoed from somewhere back down the corridor.

I froze-every function of my body arrested but my heart, and even that faltered jaggedly-and listened. I didn’t have long to hope that I’d just imagined the sound. Within seconds, I could hear more quiet footsteps coming this way.

Melanie kept her cool, whereas I was lost to panic.

Get on your feet, she ordered.

Why?

You won’t fight, but you can run. You have to try something-for Jamie.

I started breathing again, keeping it quiet and shallow. Slowly, I rolled forward till I was on the balls of my feet. Adrenaline coursed through my muscles, making them tingle and flex. I would be faster than most who would try to catch me, but where would I run to?

“Wanda?” someone whispered quietly. “Wanda? Are you here? It’s me.”

His voice broke, and I knew him.

“Jamie!” I rasped. “What are you doing? I told you I needed to be alone.”

Relief was plain in his voice, which he now raised from the whisper. “Everybody is looking for you. Well, you know, Trudy and Lily and Wes-that everybody. Only we’re not supposed to let anyone know that’s what we’re doing. No one is supposed to guess that you’re missing. Jeb’s got his gun again. Ian’s with Doc. When Doc’s free, he’ll talk to Jared and Kyle. Everybody listens to Doc. So you don’t have to hide. Everybody’s busy, and you’re probably tired…”

As Jamie explained, he continued forward until his fingers found my arm, and then my hand.

“I’m not really hiding, Jamie. I told you I had to think.”

“You could think with Jeb there, right?”

“Where do you want me to go? Back to Jared’s room? This is where I’m supposed to be.”

“Not anymore.” The familiar stubborn edge entered his voice.

“Why is everyone so busy?” I asked to distract him. “What’s Doc doing?”

My attempt was unsuccessful; he didn’t answer.

After a minute of silence, I touched his cheek. “Look, you should be with Jeb. Tell the others to stop looking for me. I’ll just hang out here for a while.”

“You can’t sleep here.”

“I have before.”

I felt his head shake in my hand.

“I’ll go get mats and pillows, at least.”

“I don’t need more than one.”

“I’m not staying with Jared while he’s being such a jerk.”

I groaned internally. “Then you stay with Jeb and his snores. You belong with them, not with me.”

“I belong wherever I want to be.”

The threat of Kyle finding me here was heavy on my mind. But that argument would only make Jamie feel responsible for protecting me.

“Fine, but you have to get Jeb’s permission.”

“Later. I’m not going to bug Jeb tonight.”

“What is Jeb doing?”

Jamie didn’t answer. It was only at that point I realized he had deliberately not answered my question the first time. There was something he didn’t want to tell me. Maybe the others were busy trying to find me, too. Maybe Jared’s homecoming had returned them to their original opinion about me. It had seemed that way in the kitchen, when they’d hung their heads and eyed me with furtive guilt.

“What’s going on, Jamie?” I pressed.

“I’m not supposed to tell you,” he muttered. “And I’m not going to.” His arms wrapped tightly around my waist, and his face pressed against my shoulder. “Everything is going to be all right,” he promised me, his voice thick.

I patted his back and ran my fingers through his tangled mane. “Okay,” I said, agreeing to accept his silence. After all, I had my secrets, too, didn’t I? “Don’t be upset, Jamie. Whatever it is, it will all work out for the best. You’re going to be fine.” As I said the words, I willed them to be true.

“I don’t know what to hope for,” he whispered.

As I stared into the dark at nothing in particular, trying to understand what he wouldn’t say, a faint glow caught my eye at the far end of the hallway-dim but conspicuous in the black cave.

“Shhh,” I breathed. “Someone is coming. Quick, hide behind the boxes.”

Jamie’s head snapped up, toward the yellow light that was getting brighter by the second. I listened for the accompanying footsteps but heard nothing.

“I’m not going to hide,” he breathed. “Get behind me, Wanda.”

“No!”

“Jamie!” Jared shouted. “I know you’re back here!”

My legs felt hollow, numb. Did it have to be Jared? It would be so much easier for Jamie if Kyle were the one to kill me.

“Go away!” Jamie shouted back.

The yellow light sped up and turned into a circle on the far wall.

Jared stalked around the corner, the flashlight in his hand sweeping back and forth across the rock floor. He was clean again, wearing a faded red shirt I recognized-it had hung in the room where I’d lived for weeks and so was a familiar sight. His face was also familiar-it wore exactly the same expression it had since the first moment I’d shown up here.

The beam of the flashlight hit my face and blinded me; I knew the light reflected brilliantly off the silver behind my eyes, because I felt Jamie jump-just a little start, and then he set himself more firmly than before.

“Get away from it!” Jared roared.

“Shut up!” Jamie yelled back. “You don’t know her! Leave her alone!”

He clung to me while I tried to unlock his hands.

Jared came on like a charging bull. He grabbed the back of Jamie’s shirt with one hand and yanked him away from me. He held on to his handful of fabric, shaking the boy while he yelled.

“You’re being an idiot! Can’t you see how it’s using you?”

Instinctively, I shoved myself into the tight space between them. As I’d intended, my advance made him drop Jamie. I didn’t want or need what else happened-the way his familiar smell assaulted my senses, the way the contours of his chest felt under my hands.

“Leave Jamie alone,” I said, wishing for once that I could be more like Melanie wanted me to be-that my hands could be hard now, that my voice could be strong.

He snatched my wrists in one hand and used this leverage to hurl me away from him, into the wall. The impact caught me by surprise, knocked the breath out of me. I rebounded off the stone wall to the floor, landing in the boxes again, making another crinkly crash as I shredded through more cellophane.

The pulse thudded in my head as I lay awkwardly bent over the boxes, and for a moment, I saw strange lights pass in front of my eyes.

“Coward!” Jamie screamed at Jared. “She wouldn’t hurt you to save her own life! Why can’t you leave her alone?”

I heard the boxes shifting and felt Jamie’s hands on my arm. “Wanda? Are you okay, Wanda?”

“Fine,” I huffed, ignoring the throbbing in my head. I could see his anxious face hovering over me in the glow of the flashlight, which Jared must have dropped. “You should go now, Jamie,” I whispered. “Run.”

Jamie shook his head fiercely.

“Stay away from it!” Jared bellowed.